With my husband's new job, we've been making a lot of transitions around here. I've been forced to deal with clutter, begin to make lunches again, and adapt to a new schedule. All good things!

Among this adapting, we realized that since the work truck is now his sole vehicle, I get my small commuter car back. We can finally pitch the great huge gas guzzling Oldsmobile taking up the driveway.

Now mind you, I've always had a love-hate relationship with that car.

I've been grateful for it but hated its idiosyncrasies. DH got it a year before we got married and paid cash for it from his mom. According to her, "it's been maintained and runs perfectly…no trouble whatsoever!" Well, a few months after we got it, things began going wrong. Big things. We began pouring money into this beast because we needed the car. Once I began to teach locally, I was the one to drive it because DH commuted more than I and took my small car for the gas economy. For the past few years, we've soaked the equivalent of low blue book into it. I've been grateful for it when I've needed to work.

Always, though, it's had some sort of drama; usually unwelcome. Always, I've threatened, "Boy, Turtle Car (named such because it's big, green, and slow) one day you'll be gone and I'll be happy."

Now that I'm looking for places to donate it, I find myself strangely not wanting to let it go completely. So I made a list of the Pro's and Con's.

Pro's – ummm…ahhh….hmmmm….it does work and gets us around when we need to, in town only. It is a good back-up car.

Con – It guzzles gas like an infant does milk. It has cost us the low blue book value in repairs. The a/c doesn't work. It has dozens of little annoying and dangerous quirks. We pay monthly insurance and DON'T drive it unless we have to. I hate it. It's taking up a good 1/3 of the driveway.

As I was thinking this through, I was reminded of the complaining Israelites – not too far a stretch for the mind of this Jewish chick. I recalled how no matter what was going on the Israelites complained during the Desert Experience and G-d answered them. There wasn't enough food so manna was sent; there wasn't variety of food so quail was sent; there wasn't water so G-d had water come from a rock; they were afraid so there was a pillar of fire at night and a cloud by day. This went on for GENERATIONS. When at last the last of the complaining generation died, the new generation was ready to go into the Promised Land. The L-rd reminded them of His promises for hope, for prosperity, a new life.

This revelation warmed me to and sent sunshine into my soul. I remembered the past few years – how tight monies have been, how frugal I've had to be. Now, I'm still being just as frugal, but we're also able to put more aside and plan for that rainy day. (Of which there seem to be many on the horizon.)

Suddenly, I realized the abundant blessing we now have with this new job of DH's. The L-rd has indeed brought us a good thing - above what we ever asked or thought of. Why would I want to hold onto the ugliness of the past as represented through the symbolism of this car?

I realized, I DON'T! I don't want it, we don't need it, and we have no reason for keeping it.

My soul has wings today, as I clean out the last bit of stuff in the trunk. I am grateful for the time we had this car, how it met our needs, even for the money spent because we did learn something from that experience.

I am thrilled to realize that we'll get a tax write off and bless a non-profit with a working vehicle. Our 'trash' can be someone's treasure. We'll get our driveway back.

G-d does provide in the most amazing of ways but sometimes you have to let completely go and be willing to give up what you've been holding on to so that the blessing can be complete.

~ ~ ~ ~

UPDATE: The Turtle is gone! We decided on our charity to donate it to and since my dad was here today I had him follow me over to drop off the car. I told DH last night as he signed the title, "You do know that once it goes away, we can't get it back...right?!?!" He was laughing. Working with a non-profit was a great experience and I'd highly recommend donating to some private charities above a 'Craig's List' thing. I do NOT miss this car, I'm thrilled I've got a nice clean driveway!