A Southerner's Answer to Those Who Call Us Rednecks

[Leah]

This is our answer to the Yankees that call us Rednecks.

 

Bluenecks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves).

 

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...

 

Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

 

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

 

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

 

You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road (e.g., boiled peanuts).

 

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

 

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

 

You don't know what a moon pie is.

 

You've never had an RC Cola.

 

You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

 

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

 

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

 

You have no idea what a polecat is.

 

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

 

You don't have bangs.

 

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

 

You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

 

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

 

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

 

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

 

You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

 

The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

 

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

 

You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

 

You call binoculars opera glasses.

 

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

 

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Billie Jo, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).

 

You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie).

 

You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's.

 

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

 

None of your fur coats are homemade!

[WormGuy]

 

 

 

 

John

[Stephanie]

[farmgirlwannabe]

This is our answer to the Yankees that call us Rednecks.

 

 

 

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

 

When I first started coming "out of the city" we were driving to a friends house when I spotted a bunch of animals on the side of the road. I asked what they were, and with a huge rumble of laughter, I was told they were chickens. I proceeded to sound even more like a "blue neck" and said "I thought they had to be in cages."

 

Wait....it doesn't end there....even I can laugh about how stupid it was now.

 

I said the magic words that they will never let me live down - "I didn't know that chickens came in so many colors!"

 

I think of that often when I go out to the barn with my FIL to do chores. I go in to get eggs and feed the chickens, and admire all of the beautiful colors (and sometimes laugh to myself).

[Cat]

 

 

I'm a PURPLEneck!!!!!

 

 

 

Not too much of either red or blue, so I must be purple...

 

 

 

LOL at farmgirlwannabe... we're just glad you joined the club.

 

Even I was amazed and thrilled at the beautiful Auracanas we had once. They were like jewels in the sunlight... and the colored eggs were just downright *FUN*!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ncnewbie]

Well,

It looks like you got me!

 

I could answer yes to 18 of them!! In northerners defense though, it's just WAAAAY different down here. We have been stationed here for nearly 7 years, and there is always something that surprises me.

 

I never could understand calling all drinks Cokes though...

 

 

Are there any "immersion classes" I could go to to stop getting the occasional "You not from 'round here, are ya?

Maranatha!

 

[rootdiggr]

Are there any "immersion classes" I could go to to stop getting the occasional "You not from 'round here, are ya?

Maranatha!

 

I have been in Virginia since 1981, and the only people that think that I "am from 'round here", are people who aren't!

 

My son was 4 when we got here, and he blends better. Maybe your next generation will be considered "southr'n". And remember, just being born here does not make you a southerner. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, you wouldn't call them muffins, would you?

 

It's all in the attitude.

[TheCG]

I recently had to explain the differences between white trash, redneck, cracker, and po' folk.