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Old Age


ROBIE

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An ode to old age

There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,

And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.

My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;

The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

 

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;

My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.

When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,

But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

 

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?

I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;

If my names not there, I'll once again start -

Perfecting the art of falling apart

 

 

 

Getting old when

You know you're getting older when...

 

Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

 

You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.

 

Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.

 

Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.

 

Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.

 

You look forward to a dull evening.

 

Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

 

Your back goes out more than you do.

 

You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

 

You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

 

 

I have bad news

The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."

 

The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"

 

"You have Alzheimer's disease."

 

"Good heavens! What's the good news?"

 

"You can go home and forget about it!"

 

Robie:laughkick:

 

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