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About Deb2of9

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    Family Member
  • Birthday 12/15/1955

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    Genealogy, Reading, All types of crafts, I mostly knit and crochet. Mostly I like to spend time with my family.
  1. Urgent prayers needed

    I was really upset last night and so I said my nephew when it was my grandson that was missing. He has been found. I am not sure about his emotional state. What has led up to this is a long story. My daughter and her husband separated last summer. It was due to the children being removed by CPS because of her husband. The kids are back now and at this time their is a temporary restraining order against him. The abuse was mostly emotional and mental abuse, with some physical. They also believe sexual against one of the girls but they haven't been able to get any proof. However this is what drove my grandson away when he was a couple months shy of 18. He moved in with his girlfriend and her family. She is about a year younger than him and they have been engaged since about a year after that. Unfortunately, what we didn't know is her home life was as messed up as his, actually, maybe more so. Her mother was forced out of the house about a year later. Her Dad moved in with his girl friend and my grandson and his fiancé went with them. We only found out recently how bad it was. At first, the father did odd jobs, but he got my grandson to do all the work and he kept the money. Wanting to marry his fiancé, my grandson found a really good job. It paid over $20 an hour. His fiancé's father kept all of the paycheck except for $100. Also the fiancé and her mother had always been small as long as we knew them and very pasty in color. Her mother improved when she moved out, but his fiancé didn't. In fact, she got worse. About a month ago my grandson bought a pull behind trailer and moved out. It is basically a camper, but it is his home. He rents a space in someone's back yard. The end of March, my grandson was asked by his fiancé's family for some money for groceries. They said their was no food in the house. He gave them $200 but instead of groceries the Dad bought late Christmas gifts. My grandson was upset about this and told them that they were never going to get any more money from him. My grandson's fiancé decided to go to my grandson's place after a big fight with her father where he attacked my grandson who was helping her leave. A week later she was in a panic because her dad kept trying to force her to leave the house. He called his mom and she went to stay with her. That only lasted a night, but my daughter was shocked when she saw her. His fiancé had lost a lot more weight. In fact my daughter said she looked like pictures of concentration camp prisoners. When my daughter fed her she was afraid to eat. She said she would get into trouble if she ate anything. It came out that they fed her very little and she was not allowed to eat anything unless it was given to her by them. I will add that her father and his girl friend are both on the heavy side. Anyway, his fiancé came back to his house and that is when we got the next shock. It seems the Dad showed up only with the sheriff this time. They forcefully removed her from my grandson's place, kicking and screaming. It seems her father had got her listed as incompetent and made himself guardian. He had apparently done it a while before although she had no knowledge of this. He also has been receiving social security check for her for years. He is claiming her defect is low intelligence. I have worked with the developmentally disabled. She is not. She may not be brilliant, but she is of average intelligence. Yet he has used this to lock her up in his place. She is not allowed to answer the door, talk on the phone or get online. She has to go to her room if anyone comes to the house. She has not been allowed to see anyone for about two weeks now. Her Dad told my grandson that she didn't want to see him. In his state, my grandson believes he must have done something wrong and just wants her back. He feels his life isn't worth living without her and thinks she rejected him. I am pretty sure it is her Dad that is doing it no her. This is a real mess. Add to it the mess my son-in-law has caused and it is a problem. My son-in-law actually got up in court the other day and gave a bold face lie. He told the court that my daughter had him accused of killing my grandson in 2010 and that she had left my grandson alone when it happened with only his then 15 year old brother to watch him. He did this to manipulate my daughter. Not only was she home her son died in front of her. They had thought he took some pills, but later that was proved wrong. However in court he told them that my daughter said he killed him by letting him get his pills when it was her pills that did it and then he proceeded to say how the pills did it. He also said he was read his rights after she accused him. One they were both read their rights, prior to them investigating the death. His death was sudden and therefore suspicious. The pills suspected was never his and my daughter was so zone out at the time, she couldn't have accused him of anything. He was in court for harassment charges because even though they feel he is a potential family annihilator based on texts and phone messages he left. He told her that he already had the gravestone with their names on it and they would all go to eternity together. He also said he could take someone out for $70. It is all pretty scary. One night he called her 31 times alone over 6 hours and that was just the cell phone. That is not counting the calls to the home phone and texts he sent. So he is adding all sorts of stress to the situation. I am worried about my grandson as well as the rest of the family with all that is going on. I am also worried about the fiancé. My daughter has placed a call to adult protective services for her and is waiting a call back. Please pray for all of them.
  2. My nephew is missing. He has been depressed lately and disappeared today leaving his phone and wallet behind. He left a note saying that there is no point anymore. He recently broke up with his girlfriend.
  3. might be an effective ploy if they are really staying aware to change tactics if necessary
  4. Prayers needed for my family

    Thank you for all the prayers. I think that this past year is one of those that shows how much your world can change quickly. I can see post be in alot of this, for instance my daughter is now seeing that she was in an abusive relationship and is trying to change it. It has been hard convincing her that just because he didn't beat her, that does not mean she wasn't being abused. He was physical and has had her flee the house for the safety of herself and the kids a number of times but made excuses that it was because he was drinking or under a lot of stress. The fact that she couldn't go or do anything, have anything in her name and had to keep in constant touch by phone wasn't seen by her. He even kept telling the kids that they were responsible for her health issues and that they were killing her. Now she is starting to take control of her life and the kids aren't afraid to be kids. Yes I worry but I see things getting better as they get through this. As for the job, I was thank ng of leaving anyway. The new owners have made working conditions horrible since they bought the place two years ago. I just would have preferred leaving on my own with a new job to take its place. But even that, Change may be a good thing. It is getting through the now that is rough. As I said my sister and my job were both a shock but my daughters situation has me to n fear.
  5. I would love to have a spinning wheel. I have read a little bit about spinning flax. It would be another source to have for material to spin and possibly to weave. I have a small lap loom and weaving is the next thing for me to learn.
  6. There has been so much happening in my life since last summer, it is hard to know where to start. My whole family needs prayers for many different things. I will start with the most recent because in a way they are the least complicated. The most recent thing that has upset our personal world is that I lost my job. I am looking an am confident that I will find a new job that is better for me, but in the mean time I am looking at only my final check. Since I was fired for what I feel was unjust reasons, I did apply for unemployment but who knows if it will come through. After all, they did give a cause, so who knows if I will get it. As I am the main support for my household of four, I am worried I will not be able to make the bills. I also do not have nearly as much preps as I had in the past. About 6 years ago the place I worked closed down. I was out of work for a year and used most of my preps. I started back to work at less pay and quickly added two more people to my household. With prices going up everyday and more people to feed and care for, I never did get my preps built up to more than a month or so and a recent problem with my car was so costly that it cost my emergency fund. I literally was counting change to pay bills this past week. So prayers that I will not only find a job but the right job will be appreciated. Asking for prayers for myself seems selfish, but I know my job affects more than me. That my brother finds more than part time work or the others in the house also find work would be great. Who knows, maybe I am out of work to help motivate the others to start pulling their own weight. (My youngest daughter , 26, two brothers 55 and 57 live with me.) Only one of them works and that is a job that is 6 hours a week and some freelance stuff online. It doesn't contribute much to the household income. The next world shattering thing that happened is that my sister and her husband of almost 42 years have split up. My sister was shattered. Her husband came in one day and said he needed to reset his life and left. He had apparently been thinking of it for a while because he had a place to go, but she didn't have a clue. It got me to thinking long and hard. My niece asked me what they would do now. She said will Mom loose her family, her friends and her church? You see, although my brothers and I live about an hour away from her, most of her "family" is really his family. I don't see that changing. They have taken us all in and her nieces and nephews consider me their aunt as well. I don't see a divorce changing that and I don't think friends would be a problem. However, although I don't see her church as a problem in her case, it could be. This brings me to the final and biggest thing that I need prayers for and that is my oldest daughter. Last summer we were hit with a bombshell. My grandchildren were removed from the home due to claims of abuse. My daughter's world was crushed and she couldn't understand it as she never abused her children. It turns out two of the children said they didn't feel safe in the home. Well, after a summer in foster care and weekly supervised visits with them then unsupervised she got the children back. She only got them back after her husband agreed to leave the house. You see, she had started to work outside the home and he was the one that the complaints of abuse were against. The claim against her was only due to inaction and not realizing that he was physically and emotionally abusing the children. It was a long hard summer, but finally he agreed to leave and she got the kids back provisionally. He had not once gone to have a visit with the kids, but after he left the home he did. After the first visit, my daughter's eyes opened when my grandson age 7 said it was a good visit because daddy didn't hurts us or wasn't mean to us once. She started reviewing things and saw much. Before long my soon to be ex son in law started to threaten her over the phone and text messages. He had a do not contact order regarding the kids, but he continued to harass her to the point of calling her cell phone while he was also calling the home phone. This prevented my daughter from working as she works from home online taking those 1-800 phone calls for everything from sales to charities. She got a temporary restraining order based on threats he made. The judge threw it out stating that she was using the courts as a weapon against her husband. The threats got worse. He said that the fact that the judge threw it out was proof that God was with him and that she would be punished. A new temporary restraining order was issued when he left a message saying that they already had their names on the gravestone with their son that had died between them and that when they went to eternity, they would go as a family. He now is facing charges of the lowest level of domestic violence. The whole family is a mess and she lives in constant fear. He was in a psych unit for eval but is out now at a family members home and has started stalking her staying just out of the 500 ft that he has to be by the restraining order. She had a hard time deciding as she believes marriage is for life and is now filing for divorce. In the mean time, her daughters have a different father that has been kept out of their lives. He has served time for child molesting and finding this out is why she broke contact with him. He also has made threats against her as recently as 5 years ago when he found her after my grandson died. Because CPS got involved, they contacted him and he is now again in her life. We had a horrible time of it when she was involved with him. He even went so far as to stalk me to try to find out where she was. He had set fire to a workman's truck just because he was putting a fence up around her place that was ordered by the landlord. So not only is she dealing with the new fears, but the old ones have come back into her life. I worry about my daughter on two levels. One is that one of these two will actually cause harm to her or the children and the other that the stress of worrying about it will cause her harm. Among other issues, she has serious heart problems. It has taken a lot to get her to accept that this is not her fault. I have had to talk her through what problems her husband has caused in her life by going back step by back till before they were married. He has always been controlling and manipulating and emotionally and mentally abusive, but I could not make her see it. In fact all I could do was stand by and help her as needed for fear he would cut off all contact with me. He had already cut off most of the contact prior to his own mother dying. At that time he allowed me back into their lives. I was in fear that if I said too much or did too much, she would side with him and I would lose my ability to be there for them. Having been in an abusive marriage myself I saw the signs but could not do anything until she was ready. Please pray for my family that we will all overcome the issues in our lives. My loss of job is small potatoes compared to everything else. It is just the icing on the cake. It does have the blessing of allowing me to be there for my daughter more.
  7. Ok, this may not seem like much, but what I have done this week is to start learning a new skill. I have always loved knitting, crocheting, needlepoint, etc. Well my newest skill that I have then turned around and taught my oldest daughter as well is to spin my own thread. I bought a hand spindle and a bag of wool and am working on spinning enough for my first project of a shawl. My brother saw my progress and asked when it was going to be a hat. I told him wait your turn. When I saw this bag of brown wool, I knew it would be a shawl and I love shawls. I chill easily but due to hot flashes can just as easily turn to roasting. The shawl is the perfect answer. It is easy on and off and can also can be used as a cover for a child or even just your lap. After I get better at hand spinning, I want to learn to use a spinning wheel and to weave. I feel this is a good skill to have and I love to make things for myself and others to use. As I said, it isn't something that adds to my preps, but every new skill you master is just as important if not more so than the material things you gather. You need the materials, but without out the knowledge and skills to know what to do with them, they are just things.
  8. Knot tying Practice Challenge Issued.

    This a good skill to have. Will give it a try. Found a book on knots called The Klutz book of knots by John Cassidy.
  9. This is a good exercuse. I will have to give it some thought. If we nly had the $60 cash, that would be difficult, but more manageable if electronic banking is still posible. Would I still be able to deposit my paycheck to pay bills. If not, what would be the point of giing to work? I would be better off staying home, limiting my gas use and attempt to grow my own food. So whether electronic transactions are still possible and how you would get paid are important questions to answer. I don't use much cash but rent alone would not be possoble with $60 limit
  10. I think it sometimes. you get hit with two much. News today, Niece who was just pronounced cancer free from colon cancer now had a lump show up on her mammogram. Biopsy will be done next month. Nephew who lost custody of his daughters to his ex wife is in a mens shelter and suicidal. This has been touch and go since his divorce a year ago. Finally, it will be at least a month until the first chance ti get my grand kids back. I couldn't go into the hearing, but it does seem that the judge is being fair. It is just that since the kids are in the system , a full investigation has to be done. The complaint lists two of the kids with potential sexual abuse and yes it was the two that tell stories all the time. I believe that those two have problems. gd#1 is a mess and I really don't believe half if what she says. I am not as sure about my grandson but not only does he tell stories like you wouldn't believe, he will do anything to please his sister. The thing is they do not claim anything has happened in the past 6 - 9 months yet the kids suddenly couldn't stay home. I am confused. The judge yelled at the social worker because she failed to review the whole record. She claimed my daughter and her husband have not cooperated and were hiding things. She failed to mention that the kids have gone to every appointment, home inspection, and anything they were asked. Her oldest son was the first accused and my daughter and her husband reported it themselves which is where CPS involvement started. He has been out of the house for two years now.. She had not reviewed previous records including the reports from gd#1 psych records. The prosecutor wondered why this was pursued and. the judge said he hopes they have more than they presented because there really wasn't enough there. So although there is a long road again, it doesn't look hopeless. The good news is the boys are together and the girls are also together. That I have mixed feelings about as gd#1 loves to antagonize and even terrorize gd#2. I believe it will work out in the end.
  11. Getting. ready. to go to court for the hearing. I am fairly certain the most we will get today is the reason given for all of this as they have not said anything yet. I continue to worry about my daughter. Since Friday morning she has eaten a small salad, a few crackers and a cheese danish. I am not sure if she is taking her medicine right but I know she is out of her anxiety med and a critical heart med. She can't get refills without seeing the doctor who is going out if town. They scheduled the court hearing for when she was supposed to see her doctor. Her heart rhythm is messed up and that is what the med is supposed to correct.. I hope we can get her squeezed in to the doctor after court. Thank you for your continued prayers.
  12. Thank you for taking care of the duplicate post. I noticed it but didn't know what to do about it. thank you also for the prayers. I honestly do not believe the few things that have "leaked" about why this happened. I will admit with my daughters issues she can be erratic, and my son-in-law can be controlling but one of the leaked things was she didn't feed the kids. Not only is that false but the kids routinely get thirds!!! The oldest girl us out of control and a lot of the problems come from that. She also seems to believe what ever lies she comes up with. Or at least no matter how fantastic the story she appears to see it as true. That is until she changes it for the next story. Her one brother can be sweet and helpful one minute and as untrustworthy the next. Both lie and steal like they are taking a breath. The rest of them just get caught up in the mess. They may have their issues but they are more of one with those two around. They go out of the way to push the right buttons to get the other ones going. Gd#1 had gd#2 (the one with Asbergers) convinced that she would kill her or the parents. She goes out of the way to cause explosions withe the younger granddaughter by telling her things that she knows will upset her, then sits back and watches while gd#2 loses it. It is definitely a problem. Time to go to church so I better get off here.
  13. I tried this once and lost the post before I was done. I need prayers for my family especially my daughters family. Yesterday my daughter kept an appointment with family counselors and after 5 hours cooping my agoraphobic, claustrophobic and severe anxiety issues daughter in a small room, CPS removed her children. They took the three that were there on the spot. They argued that she had to be hiding something because she was so anxious. My daughter has been being treated for these issues for over 5 years now. They then sent her on her way in a big city for an hour drive home. in that kind of emotional state. She was crying so bad it is amazing she made it home safely. The other two kids were at home and she was worried they would take them before she got there. In the mean time the two kids at home , both who have Asbergers syndrome were a wreck. This was done because of accusations the oldest girl who has bipolar and according to the psychologist has no conscience and lives in a world where what ever she reads or sees on TV becomes true, made accusations again. This has happened at least three times in the past always involving more people. Each time it has been found to be completely unfounded. She has also said she was going to destroy the family. She has succeeded this time. My daughter has serious health issues including her heart and as I said has bouts of depression as well as the anxiety. We spent yesterday at the hospital with my son-in-law with chest pain. He has had a heart attack before. We are all a wreck. The initial hearing is Monday. Please pray for my family that we win through this. I want my grandkids back but even more I want them all to be okay, safe and to get the help they need
  14. Mt_Rider, I understand about the whole disability thing. I have had limitations for years due to back and knee problems but have never felt they were very limiting. However, my oldest daughter has health issues as do some of her children and we are running up against that wall of lack of understanding for years. Take my grand-daughter, among her health issues is a bowel and bladder problem. She has chronic constipation/diarrhea and bladder infections. They have brought in to the school documentation from the doctor stating that she has to be able to go to the bathroom at anytime she asks and not wait for the break in class, she also is to keep water at her side and drink it through out the day and is on scheduled bowel and bladder. She had one teacher that told her you have to hold it as school gets out in 45 minutes and you can go then. She not only had an accident ( very embarrassing for an 11 year old) but ended up with another major bladder infection from trying to hold it that had her miss a week and a half of school in agony. This is the grand-daughter with Asperger's so this only makes it worse. They have given her food with gluten in it saying a little bit of wheat won't hurt so what is the problem. This has been an ongoing problem with the school. Then you add to it the problems my daughter has. She has mobility issues as well as heart, respiratory, anxiety/depression issues and there are days that she just can't manage to move let alone do much. She has had to go in a work program to keep their medical and food stamps and they are telling her she has to work, even though her husband works full time, she has 5 children still at home with only one of them with only asthma as a health issue and as I said has days when she can't do much. She walks with one forearm crutch on good days, two on bad. They kept insisting that she should apply for work as a nurses aide because she did that work before. Even seeing her with a crutch, they can't seem to understand that even if she managed with the other issues, she can not do aide work when she can not stand unassisted her self. That is just a minor example. I do not fully understand all of the issues that you deal with on a day to day basis with MS although as a nurse I understand a little of it. I do know that in many ways it is probably similar to my daughter that along with all of the other problems is dealing with fibromyalgia on top of her other health issues as well as a husband and 4 kids with major health issues. Just my grand-daughter alone had her going to appointments 4 days a week for 8 weeks to doctors an hour and a half away every day. Some times people just aren't smart. We see what we can do and fail to understand that our world view may not reflect the reality in the other persons life. I knew some one who was ordered to soak their child in a bath 3 times a day and the nurse got mad because she refused to follow the instructions given to her. What they totally ignored is that she didn't have running water at home so to do this meant she had to carry the water, heat it each time to do it. She could not manage to do what they were asking. We never really know what we are capable of until we face it or what adjustments we may have to make to get done what needs done. Sometimes disabilities are noticeable to the outside world, other times they are not. We may not be able to understand exactly what limitations someone has, but we have to be willing to listen to what they say it is and go from there with suggestions for help. The hardest thing to do is to know when to offer and when to accept help. I agree that what is a glass half or more full for someone who has adjusted to their limitations is not the same for someone without those limitations. Sometimes the hardest ones to understand are the limits that no one else can see. They are just as real, even if it is not a physical limitation. They are just as debilitating for the person who suffers it.
  15. I have been figuring out alot. When my arm first stopped working, it was mostly an inconvnce. I expected it to get better. I have dealt with injuries before and have gotten quite creative in dealing with them. I spent one summer on crutches with a full leg cast on due to a broken knee and worked as a floor nurse the entire time. I. had toget creative incarrying things but managed to work. It was once I started to fight to get treatment that this one scared me. I began to see that this could get to be long term and if it takes toolong to fix could even lead to permanent damage. It scared me and for a little while I paniced. I know that for now there are a lot of things I can't or shouldn't do. I am further restrained by my battle with workers comp. If I do more than I should they can use that as evidence to deny my claim.So I am careful , more careful than I might be to follow the restrictions placed on me. Otherwise I might stubbornly try to do what needs done and pay the price for it later. This is probably a good thing. In the mean time I do need to get a new reacher. My dayghter broke my old one using it to pick apples.

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