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Darlene

Romans 13:8-10

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Heavenly Father,

 

This morning I woke up with a very heavy heart. I've been in tears as the waves of worry, regret and guilt wash over my heart over my children. The enemy's whisperings are getting louder and I'm recognizing a vein that he's trying to inject his poison into to try to do me in.

 

My heartbeat has been my children, regardless of my failures or successes. Perhaps it's a mama thing or a me thing, makes no difference, it just is. It feels as if an aorta has sprung a leak as I watch my children go into the world and it's breaking my heart and I feel like it's all my fault. I'm sure part of it is...sin has far reaching consequences that we don't realize at the time.

 

I find myself sobbing and praying to You, not really able to say any words...the pain deep in my heart says it all. I remember what a friend said about perhaps finding a way to enter into that rest that Christ promised when we undertake His yolk vs. ours so I pull up my list of commentaries and begin to scan for the 19th verse, desperately needing to understand.

 

I pull up John Darby's commentary. An old, old woman had given Watchman Nee his commentary all those years ago and he has said on several occasions that Darby's commentary and one other one that I can't recall off hand, greatly influenced his walk with the You.

 

I begin to read, crying as I do:

 

"Observe too, that in chapter 11, the perverseness of the generation that had rejected John's testimony, and that of the Son of man come in grace and associating Himself in grace with the Jews, opens the door to the testimony of the glory of the Son of God, and to the revelation of the Father by Him in sovereign grace-a grace that could make Him known as efficaciously to a poor Gentile as to a Jew. It was no longer a question of responsibility to receive, but of sovereign grace that imparted to whomsoever it would. Jesus knew man, the world, the generation which had enjoyed the greatest advantages of all that were in the world. There was no place for the foot to rest on in the miry slough of that which had departed from God. In the midst of a world of evil Jesus remained the sole revealer of the Father, the source of all good. Whom does He call? What does He bestow on those who come? Only source of blessing and revealer of the Father, He calls all those who are weary and heavy laden. Perhaps they did not know the spring of all misery, namely, separation from God, sin. He knew, and He alone could heal them. If it was the sense of sin which burdened them, so much the better. Every way the world no longer satisfied their hearts; they were miserable, and therefore the objects of the heart of Jesus. Moreover He would give them rest; He does not here explain by what means; He simply announces the fact. The love of the Father, which in grace, in the Person of the Son, sought out the wretched, would bestow rest (not merely alleviation or sympathy, but rest) on every one that came to Jesus. It was the perfect revelation of the Father's name to the heart of those that needed it; and that by the Son;-peace, peace with God. They had but to come to Christ: He undertook all and gave rest. But there is a second element in rest. There is more than peace through the knowledge of the Father in Jesus. And more than that is needed; for, even when the soul is perfectly at peace with God, this world presents many causes of trouble to the heart. In these cases it is a question of submission or of self-will. Christ, in the consciousness of His rejection, in the deep sorrow caused by the unbelief of the cities in which He had wrought so many miracles, had just manifested the most entire submission to His Father, and had found therein perfect rest to His soul. To this He calls all that heard Him, all that felt the need of rest to their own souls. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me," that is to say, the yoke of entire submission to His Father's will, learning of Him how to meet the troubles of life; for He was "meek and lowly in heart," content to be in the lowest place at the will of His God. In fact nothing can overthrow one who is there. It is the place of perfect rest to the heart."

 

When I read that, it struck me the times in Your Word that it references a 'servant's heart'...that lowly place before You...our God, our Heavenly Father. I always had a visual in my mind of a servant in his Master's house, but that piece never quite fit. But when I read "entire submission to His Father's will...content to be in the lowest place at the will of His God", it dawned on me that the position that Christ took, hands outstretched on that Cross, totally exposed and vulnerable...trusting His Father, being obedient to His will no matter what...is the same position we need to take in Him, arms outstretched, totally exposed and vulnerable too...and which is a position that our minds rebel against because of this inner instinct of self preservation.

 

I remember the revelation You gave me in January this year in that post I wrote where You opened my eyes to that position. That experience totally blew me away, but I'm noticing how You are taking that understanding to deeper levels.

 

This Father God...this comment by Darby just stuns me: "In fact nothing can overthrow one who is there. It is the place of perfect rest to the heart."

 

There's something hidden there. Something tiny and small that is overlooked but at least for me, is a key that holds great meaning. When Christ went to that Cross and took on that submissive position, totally exposed and vulnerable and annihilated by the world, the enemy couldn't touch Him. I don't recall any scriptural references off the top of my head to satan when Jesus was on the Cross. All I recall is references to Christ and to You, the Father. I'm having a little difficultly grasping this thought enough to write it down but in Your Word...when Jesus was the most submissive and vulnerable, satan really could not touch Him there because He was in that most "meek and lowly of heart" position with You, God the Father and that is a very holy and guarded place where the enemy cannot touch.

 

Am I making any sense?

 

So, for me, and us, to strive to get into that position...to literally take His yolk and get as low as low can get, is where we're actually the most protected by Your hand. Talk about the biggest act of trust we can give You...yanno what I mean?

 

Only You Father, through the power of Your Holy Spirit opening the eyes of my heart, could take the wringing, wretching pain in my heart of 15 minutes ago, and replace it with the above...Your Truth really does set us free from the enemy's isolation chamber of his hellish prison.

 

*sigh*...I can breathe again.

 

Thank You for Your faithfulness Father...please birth on a deeper level, this understanding that I'm beginning to glimpse.

 

And thank You Father for this peace that is in my heart right now...it is a very holy thing indeed.

 

(((((my Heavenly Father)))))

 

 

In Jesus Name I pray,

 

 

8.To none owe anything, except to love one another: for he that loveth the other hath fulfilled law.

 

9. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not covet, and if there be any other commandment, it is summed up in this word, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

 

10. Love worketh no ill to one's neighbor: love therefore is law's fulness.

 

Watchman Nee comments on the word "love" and writes, "Love is not merely an outward behavior but is the expression of the inward life. In order to love people and thus spontaneously fulfill the law, we need the transformation in life and the life supply. We need God's life and God's nature of love to transform us and supply us in life, so that in love we may live out this God, who is love, and express His love."

 

The rvbv writes: "Verses 8-10: To none owe anything, except to love one another - The word "owe" here is the verb of the noun "dues" in verse seven. The connection is direct: when you pay up all your dues, whether private debts or public, and have only this constant obligation before you, - to love one another, "Love must still remain the root and spring of all your actions; no other law is needed besides. Pay all other debts; be indebted in the matter of love alone." So Paul continues: For he that loveth the other hath fulfilled law. Notice carefully that it is love, and not law-doing which is the fulness (Greek, pleroma) of law! The one who loves has (without being under it) exhibited what the Law sought! For the law said: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself; and lo, love has, from another principle, even love and grace, zealously wrought no ill to others. Love, therefore, is shown to be the fulness (not, "the fulfilling") of the law. It is only those not under law that are free to love others. Love, and not righteousness, is the active principle of Christianity. And lo, one loving, has wrought righteousness! Thus, only those not under law show its fulness. Of course, the believer is in a "new creation," and is to walk by that infinitely higher "rule of life" (Gal. 6:15,16), and not by the Law. Nevertheless, in loving he has fulfilled the lower law!"

 

 

Heavenly Father,

 

This is my closing prayer:

 

 

 

In Jesus Name I pray

 

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