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Mt_Rider

Interesting list of 'mentally strong' traits

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https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/318243

 

 

I'm not sure about #11.  LIKE fear?   I mean, we often like the thrill of a carnival ride, etc.  Thrill of anticipation. 

Thrill of trying something daring....and succeeding.  Maybe that's what they mean.  I'm remembering things we used to do on the ocean with kayaks....or rather around the shoreline with kayaks, like surfing the big ocean kayaks. 

 

But like fear?  :shrug:  That sounds ....um, counter-productive to me.

 

MtRider....whatcha think? 

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Bold?

 

"Enjoy" fear sounds like a moron!

 

:lol:

 

The rest sounds reasonable...esp. #1 ...live with gratitude.

MtRider 

Edited by Mt_Rider

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I had to laugh........and who jumped into her kayak to run away from the critter....?   

 

Facing fears & dealing with them, in business, is slightly different from the day to day fears we have.  

 

When we first got into business, I was extremely fearful of all the what if’s. Faceing them, dealing with them and overcoming them, was very productive. And, yes, I strongly support the “Gratitude & No” attitudes. 

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I think by fear, he meant "the unknown or change'.  At least that is what it means to me.  I love change and than am scared the whole time.  I like making myself do new things.

 

I also definitely agree with his meaning of success.  I am nothing as compared to the world's idea of success, but I have led an amazing and successful life.  At least in my opinion.

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Annarchy, I think StrongInstinctForSelfPreservation counts as a good strong trait too! :thumbs:

 

A LOOOOONG time ago....I was still a kid....I read a Tarzan story.  This rendition told of the little boy Tarzan drinking at a stream with a 'cousin' ape his size/age.  There was a noise behind them and with his ?superior? wits, Tarzan leaped IMMEDIATELY.  'Cousin' turned to look and was eaten.  

 

I have NO IDEA why that story has remained in my MS-jumbled brain!!!  But actually, it was the first thing I thot of when I read your Leap-Into-Kayak story, Annarchy!  Your dh could have been 'cousin'!  :o  I think you had the correct instinct!  Don't you have the S.American jaguar down there?  Besides my MtLions, etc. ;)  

 

Anyway, flee or face....this article and the supporting one  [click on the link in article above to see the bad clown] seem to say that you should value the scare these types of incident give us.  Even the physical/chemical affects.  The frights  we chose and ones we DON'T chose. 

 

Miki just posted as I'm typing on and on... ;)  and yes, I think that is a good interpretation of this too.  Facing what scares us... but what we should do or is not harmful/stupid to do.....it's a very beneficial exercise in life!!!   

 

The same time period on Maui as the sea kayaking, we also certified and took kids/adults thru the Ropes Challenge Coursehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ropes_course

 

Now I'm kind of a monkey when it comes to climbing up all over the place.  I say it's cuz I'm short and need to reach something.  But tree climbing and climbing up to the top of the round shelled-corn bins were full-time events in my childhood.  My mom has a pic of me barely a year old - she turned away for a minute and I'd climbed up a fence!  Climbing UP is never a challenge for me.  HOWEVER....the Ropes Course [and you are ON-BELAY at all times, btw]  also has another Challenge.  Climb up a telephone pole....so high in the Maui mountains that you can LITERALLY see the harbor waaaaaaaay down below.  It would take you an hour to drive way...down...there.  I LOVED THAT VIEW!  :)

 

I loved it so much I COULD NOT GET MY FEET OFFFFFFF THAT POLE!  Y'see THIS is the challenge that scares the willies outta me.  To me, it makes NO SENSE to JUMP OFF OF A PERFECTLY GOOD POLE....or out of a perfectly good airplane, either!  I only did the POLE once...when I certified for instructor.  I think it took me a half hour but yes. I. DID. JUMP.     .....so I never have to do that again!!!!  :curtsey: 

images.jpg

 

 

Was it a good experience even if I hated it?  .....mumble...mumble....yes....

 

Did it help when I was the one coaching other people up on those wires and such?  Of course!  One of those who I coached when she went up the pole some months later ....was DD1.  She hesitated only a short time and then leaped.  WAAAY better than her mom.  But...as I often said to anyone up in the wires....you have to find YOUR challenge.  Climbing up and around isn't mine.  Jumping OFF ...LETTING GO OF CONTROL......is MY challenge. 

 

MtRider  :rolleyes:  ....I MISS those days!!!!

 

Edited by Mt_Rider
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I need to relate the story of one day from the Ropes Course days.  It has to do with NOT COMPARING your challenge to anyone else's challenge.  We had a small group up there one day.  I was usually the one to talk the kids thru....cuz the MS had already begun to show and ....for some reason, no one thot it would be a good idea for ME and my unreliable hands to hold the belay [safety] ropes from down below.  So I was the mouth of our team.  No surprise there, huh?  ;)

 

I'd brought two middle school children of my very good friend/Hawaiian 'uncle' on this day's event.  The boy was a monkey up there in the wires...like me.  His sister was not and while she was up there, he began to mock her.  I told him there was no challenge for folks like him and me doing THIS challenge cuz it didn't scare us.  Therefore....OBVIOUSLY there is also no real merit in our performance.  But YOUR SISTER is being very brave today.  This scares her but there she is....doing what scares her.  You and me....we have to find what scares us...and THEN act as brave as your sister.  The boy has something to chew on and the girl was encouraged. 

 

Another boy began to climb the ladder to just get to the first wire event.  He got 8 feet off the ground and asked me if he could come down.  I was surprised cuz he hadn't been nervous or showed any indication that he'd have a problem.  So I went into my counseling-mode quickly. 

--"OK...what's going on, S?"

--"...I need to come down!
 

--A bit desperate there but he was still asking my permission.  "OK, S.  Take a few deep breaths.  You really hitting a wall up there?"

---"..yessss"

 

---"Well OK then S.  You have already reached your challenge for today.  So here's what I'm going to ask you to do.  If you think you can, I'd like you to take one more step up this ladder.  Then we'll see how you feel.  If you still need to come down, then that's it.  You'll have pushed past the wall where you met it today.  OK?  Do you think you can push one more step?"

 

----...uh, ok

 

AND HE DID IT!   Sometimes that breaks the panic/fear and they can go on.....not in his case THIS day!  :grinning-smiley-044:

 

---"GREAT JOB!!  Now S.  What do you think?  You still need to come down?"

---"YES"

---"Then you've met your challenge and broke thru.  Come on down!  Well done!"

 

The boy came down and threw up! Oye!

 

This is also what we all need to remember.  To take our own fears and that of others seriously.  He threw up!  He was SERIOUSLY SCARED on a ladder at only 8' up.  And he didn't know heights scared him.  But if handled correctly, you can make a win out of one more step.  It IS A WIN.  He might have gone on to be a roofer or pilot.  I don't know.  But that day he went past what was a huge fright for him and took one more step.  Success! 

 

Awww, y'know I can't tell just one story...

 

 A week later we were introducing them to the sea kayaks which was our main means of challenge in our program.  The Ropes Course was preliminary ....so we could know the kids and what they were like before setting off on the ocean in individual kayaks.  So we have a [usually] quiet bay to get them out there and immediately tell them to dump over and get back in their kayaks.  They all have the scupper kind..."surf board with a seat" .  Not the Eskimo sit-inside-with spray-skirt.  We instructors had those for more stability. 

 

So same kid.... S.    He ALSO didn't know he was scared of water.  :wacko:  Hawaiian kid, for petes sake, living with beaches everywhere.  BUT not necessarily on a 'boat' craft.  He may have misjudged how deep we were....or ???  I don't know but there he was in a desperate scramble to get back on top of his kayak.  But in the panic, he was spinning the kayak like a rotisserie and not able to get on top.  I came up behind him in my kayak... and he didn't hear me speak.  So I lifted him up a couple inches by the back of his LIFE JACKET and began with him again......

 

--Hey..S...S!  Can you BREATHE right now?  Are you getting air?  You're breathing right?  You know this life jacket is going to hold your head above water, right? 

---yeah  {a bit doubtfully}

---Yes is will.  So if I let you down...you'll still be breathing cuz the life jacket will hold you up, right?  OK...I'm letting you down.  You ok...you breathing?  OK... now just get back in the kayak.

 

And he climbed right in and never had any trouble with kayaking again.  :thumbs: YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!   :thumbs:  THAT was what our program was about! 

 

Did S "love his fear" as this article phrased it?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Did he remember the day he succeeded after that terrible panic?  My guess would be  - yes.  Especially the kayak one.  Not sure if he's still afraid of heights but he isn't afraid of water.  :woohoo: 

 

I loved that job and our team would sometimes come home so stoked up after challenges.....OURS and the KIDS!  :lol:  Cuz it wasn't Disneyland...as we often told the kids.  This is real and we can't just shut off these waves.  Do or die time!  {But we did promise round-trip-tickets back off of that ocean!}  

 

MtRider  ....yeah, I REALLLLY miss those day.... 

Edited by Mt_Rider
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According that I'm fairly 'Mentally Strong' or maybe more secure with myself. Age can have it's perks. Sometimes.

 

I definitely don't expose myself to physical pain! (4)

I don't like feeling fear.  (11)

 

I suppose I'm 50/50 on:

Like my competitors (12). I don't think I've ever looked at other people as my competitors. Hum, that's strange now that I think about it.

 

I think this study is more for the younger generation.

 

I agree with Miki. I think I'm a success but other people may not view me as such. I'm happy. Period. And that makes me feel like a success. 

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"Feel the fear and do it anyways" Your story really illustrates that well Mt Rider! It's learning to sit with what is hard for us and just take that next step.Next time one more, and then one more until eventually you break through, then repeat until it becomes normal. That's how I went from being agoraphobic to having a complete and full life. One push the envelope experience at a time until now I rarely if ever feel that way 28 yrs later :) It works!

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I have heard that agoraphobia is terribly hard.  Huge congratulations for beginning....and continuing until you conquered it!  :thumbs:  :thumbs:  

 

MtRider  .....overcoming stories always get to me!!!  :happy0203: 

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