ROBIE

Hello eveyon! I'm still around and the family is doing good. I'm going to try and post a pic, if the forum will let me. ROBIE

I am so so sorry that I forgot to remind everyone that "One Year After" came out on the 15th.!!! It's all my fault. The good news is, its out now. Robie

It is like you said, without F bombs and raunchy parts to add spice, some publishers and readers will pass them over. Rawles and maybe one or two others are good at keeping that stuff out or to a minimum. Also, anyone that has a military background or that wants to write accurately about the military will use a lot of cuss word, because that's how the military talks. I know this first hand! Sex, not so much, but the US military is one of the biggest providers of porn around the world. Some authors may want their hero to be a type of James Bond, and be very handy with the ladies. Not so much for the plots sake, but the ego mostly. And yes, I'll try my best to remind everyone about the book coming out on September 15th. Robie

I'm bringing this topic back up because.... "One Year After" comes out September 15th. !!! and BTW, there is no sex in "One Second After", just that part already mentioned about them waking up in bed. "One Second After" is hands down my favorite book in the EMP/SHTF topics. a close second is the "Going Home" series by A. American. No sex, but lots of F bombs. There is another series by G. Michael Hopf, "The End" and its sequels. Its ok, but not as good, with plenty of F bombs. Robie

I know, I really miss that job! Robie

years ago, mid 90's I used to work in a chocolate store called "The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory" . I loved that job, but not enough business to keep the store open. I showed up to work one day with a shirt that had this list on it and my boss loved it!! so here it is: 1. It's easy to get good Chocolate. 2. Having good Chocolate doesn't require much concentration. 3. You can have Chocolate on top of your desk without upsetting your coworkers. 4. You never have to fake your enjoyment with Chocolate. 5. You can have Chocolate in front of your mother. 6. Photographs of you having Chocolate won't ruin your political career. 7. You hardly ever gag on Chocolate. 8. Having Chocolate won't keep your neighbors awake. 9. If you just want "kisses" all night, Chocolate won't lay a guilt trip on you. 10. You can have Chocolate on the floor without getting rug burns. 11. Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. 12. Being addicted to Chocolate presents few health risks. 13. You don't need a few drinks before you suggest Chocolate. 14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. 15. It's easy to make Chocolate hot. 16. Chocolate doesn't mind if you think about somebody else while you eat it. 17. You can safely have Chocolate while you're driving. 18. You never have to say "That was the best Chocolate I ever had... really." 19. In cold weather, Chocolate can stay hard indefinitely. 20. Chocolate won't needle you for information about all your past Chocolates. 21. It's OK to have Chocolate on top of your desk or in an elevator. 22. You can talk dirty to Chocolate without having it lose respect for you. 23. Offering Chocolate to everybody at a party doesn't make you a Ho. 24. Chocolate satisfies every time. feel free to add your own ideas. Robie

For the record.... I do all the cooking... so I also do all the shopping!! and I love Jeanne Robertson!.......Lord, that was funny!! Robie... (still )

Yolko Watteltons

So, the original poster, named "Prepper Casting", is looking for preppers for Discovery Chanel? and he only has 2 posts so far? And by the looks of things, we all seem to have the same mind set: "This is BS!!" This guy, coming on the forum to do a casting call like this is just like the guy who farted in the elevator and laughs about it. Robie

Just maybe... Robie

That is not our "pillow talk". If we make it to the pillows, we aint talking!!! Robie

I'm using them on her! Robie

I've been around the web a time or 2 and found a few of pick up lines for preppers/ survivalist. feel free to add you're own. Let me load your magazine babe. Come back to my place, we can oil my bazooka. Your feet must be tired because you been bugging out through my head all night. Want to bug out? Do you like camping? o0o0-BABY! you fill out a set of fatigues real nice! Hey you want to pitch a tent? Are you allergic to nuts? If I tied you up do you think you get loose? Do you like to shower outside? Hey baby, I would like to explore your bunker. Let's armageddon it on. I think we should practice repopulating the world. When it comes to you FEMA stands for Feeling Enticed to be Molested Always. Wanna seen my tin-foil hat? It's next to my tin-foil condom. I don't need a shelter in my BOB cause you're making a tent in my pants. I intend to bug out in Virginia. What? Your name is not Virginia? Wanna go mushroom hunting? It's kinda cold out. We better press our naked bodies together to survive. I'll bring the gas mask, you bring the fishnets. You must be North because my compass is pointing right at you. Your so hot I would split my preps with you! I made you a bouquet. Of course it's edible. Actually this IS an EDC kit in my pocket, but I am still happy to see you. Any chance I can inspect your cache? My arrow, your quiver. Baby I wanna purify your water, nice and clean. Just like Obama in a panic, I want me some Bush. That must be canned, cause freeze dried don't shake like that! Wanna see my lifestraw? How about if I was the last man on earth? Cause that's right around the corner. Don't make me have Bobbb articulate why you should be with me. Is that sarin gas? Quick jump in my pants! I am a homesteader, so I know my way around a teet. You are hotter than a solar flare (which will one day wipe out the electrical grid). Nice BoB's! Nice #10 cans! You, me and the End of the world as we know it! I tried to keep it as clean as I could. Now you can add your own. Robie

Im a geek, I admit it! Love these jokes but some may not be easy to understand. There are 10 kind of people in this world, those who can read binary and those who cant. A Neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender looks at him and says "for you, no charge!" I'm reading a fascinating book on anti gravity.... I cant put it down! Where does bad light end up? In prism. What does a sub atomic duck say? Quark! How do you know the moon is going broke? Its down to it's last quarter! Why cant you trust Atoms? They make everything up. Why does a burger have less energy than a steak? A burger is in its ground state. Robie

Most of your old order or stricter Amish communities do not have indoor pluming, so it would be very hard to take a shower that way. I have heard that some use an old fashioned wash basin and sponge. Mike & Lori aka "The Amishway Homesteaders" would have a better answer for that. You can also check out these websites: http://amishamerica.com/ https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Amish-Cook-Fan-Page/371873788876?ref=profile Robie

Now that's funny right there! I better keep an eye on my 2 year old boy.. he loves playing/digging in the dirt. Robie

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies: Internal Revenue 'Service' U.S. Postal 'Service' Telephone 'Service' Cable TV 'Service' Civil 'Service' State, City, County & Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' This is not what I thought 'Service' meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing. Robie

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' 'Mrs. Sanders, please.' 'Speaking.' 'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor James at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.' 'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. 'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.' 'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders. 'Normally we can, but Obamacare will only pay for these expensive tests once and once only.' 'Well, what am I supposed to do now?' 'The folks at Obamacare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.' Robie

Highway workers found about 200 dead crows near Topeka, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief. However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks and only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. The State then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crows could only say "Cah", but none could say "Truck." Robie

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ------------------------------------ Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two." ------------------------------------ A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday." ------------------------------------ A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine." ------------------------------ A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet." ------------------------------------ A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. ------------------------------------ A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!" ------------------------------------ A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!" ------------------------------------ A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies. ------------------------------------ A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe." ------------------------------------ (This one actually makes sense.) An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat." Robie

Great news!!! Kelly and Victoria are coming home today!!! Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes! Robie

Sorry i have not been on so much, alot has happpened. For the last 2of days our baby Victoria has been in the NICU. Her biliruban count is way too high and had jaundice real bad. As of today her numbers have come way down and we will be told later tonight if she will go home with us tomorrow or stay another day. Kelly, my bride, was very worried and upset, but is doing better as Victoria is getting better. thanks for the prayers and well wishes. Ill keep ya posted! Robie

Victoria Faith Roberson was born today at 11:03am 8.05oz. 20.25 inches long and very healthy! Mom and baby both doing fine. Stay tuned.....

Its easier than it looks. Robie

Lumabean, looks like you and I have been doing the same thing along different lines. I've found a list of companies and or food products that have Genetically Modified products in them. Kinda makes you sick when you read the list and then realize you have a lot of said products in the pantry right now. Here's the list:http://shiftfrequency.com/comprehensive-list-of-gmo-products/ Happy reading... and pass the alkisaltzer. Robie