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ROBIE

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Everything posted by ROBIE

  1. I have no idea why my post was posted befor I was finished, oh well... here's the rest of the story... Escrow should close mid September, possably sooner. Even now I'm chomping at the bit to get everything packed and move in ASAP!! Pray for us as we get ready to move and make the house a home! Robie
  2. Finally! After a few months of searching the wife and I have opened escrow on a house!
  3. ROBIE

    Survival joke

    I was thinking of using raisonettes and calling them squirrel scat. Pop a few in my mouth when the kids are watching and watch how many shades of green they get. Robie
  4. ROBIE

    Survival joke

    On a tour of Alaska, a Baptist preacher went to the mountains for some sight seeing. Suddenly there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A Liberal wearing a “I Hate O’Reilly” t-shirt was struggling frantically, trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10-foot grizzly. As the preacher watched, horrified, a group of loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semi-conscious Liberal from the bear's jaws. Then they threw the bear on the bed of their pickup truck and placed the injured Liberal in the back seat. The preacher said to the loggers, “Bless you for your brave actions! I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and Liberal activists, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that love overcomes differences.” As the preacher drove off, one of the loggers said, “Was that a Baptist preacher? He has access to all God’s wisdom.” Another logger said, “He may have access to all God’s wisdom but he sure doesn’t know anything about bear hunting... by the way, is the bait holding up OK, or do we need to go back to the ACLU and grab another one?” Anyone ever play the Milk Dud trick on outdoor newbies? Set up camp. Then walk out in the woods a few yards where no one can see you and make a little pile of Milk Duds on a flat rock. Later announce a little nature walk to identify “animal signs”. After “discovering” the pile of scat... announce that you can tell what kind of animal left it by the taste... and pop one in your mouth. Kids love this one! Robie
  5. That was the only one I wasn't sure of. They can't all look like the cover of a Beverly Lewis book... and I posted only the clean ones. Who knew there could be so many dirty Amish jokes... Robie
  6. ROBIE

    Survival joke

    A Scoutmaster was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the Alaskan wilderness. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost alone in the woods?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were mentioned, such as water, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes, Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring?" asked the Scoutmaster. Timmy replied, "A compass, food, and a deck of cards." "Why's that, Timmy?" the Scoutmaster inquired. "The compass is to find the right direction, and the food is to maintain you during the rescue." "And what about the playing cards, Timmy?" asked the Scoutmaster impatiently. "Well, sir, as soon as you start playing solitaire, someone always walks up behind you and says, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!" Robie
  7. Elevator An Amish family from Pennsylvania decides to go to the Big Apple for the first time in their lives; Mother, Father and their son. They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around, they notice the elevator. Never seeing one before, they stand in front of it, bewildered. While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside, and the door closes. The Amish family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up. They continue to watch as the numbers go down again. The door opens, and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde. Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful! Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove your mother in there!" Robbery Two fellers were in desperate need of cash, but admittedly were a bit cowardly. So the one suggested they break into the Amish market. The logic being that since the Amish were non-resistant, even if they were caught, no harm could befall them. Thus they carried out their plot. However, just as they were breaking into the cash register, the owner turned on the lights and confronted them, a shotgun pointed directly at them. Calmly, the Amishman said, "Boys, I would never do thee any harm, yet you are standing where I am about to shoot." Sheep A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in Amish country for the office of assemblyman. Outside an Amish homestead, he saw a young man and his sheep. He approached the man, ready to make his pitch for a vote. Just as he was getting started, an old man called from inside the house. "Luke, get in the house. And who is that guy you're talking to?" "Says he's a politician, Pop," Luke said. "In that case, you'd better bring the sheep inside with you." Amish Pick Up Lines: Do you come to this barn often? Does your field need plowing? Why don’t you come by around 8, bring a fresh bottle of buttermilk, and we’ll sit silently amongst my large family. Would you like to see my well? I’d totally get shunned for you. Will you churn my butter for me? When we’re not together I churn for you. Want to raise a barn with me? It builds community. I own many acres of fertile land in Pennsylvania. That modestly drab brown dress really brings out your eyes. This quilting bee is turning into a quilting zzzzz. Wanna take a ride in my buggy, instead? Q: How do you fit 10 Amish in a VW Beetle? A: Tell them you are going to the livestock auction Q: Did you hear about the Amish Flu? A: There are only two symptoms. First you get a little hoarse, then you get a little buggy. Q: Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband? A: He was driving her buggy. Q: Why don't the Amish water ski? A: Because the horses would drown. Q: What do you call a beautiful girl in an Amish Church? A: A visitor. Robie
  8. ROBIE

    more hot jokes

    Q: What does a bee do when it is hot? A: He takes off his yellow jacket! Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it! Q: How hot is it in Southern California? A: So hot every fat guy sweating in the city smells like Bacon! Q: How hot is a Los Angeles summer? A: So hot that I saw a fire hydrant chasing a pack of dogs! Q: What happened after the mom purchased a loaf of bread from Albertsons? A: By the time she got home it was toast! Q: What do you need to visit Death Valley, Arizona? A: Dental Records Q: What are the only two seasons in Phoenix, Arizona? A: Hot and Hotter. Q: How do heat lamps communicate? A: Lampost Q: What did the one pig say to the another at the beach? A: I'm bacon! Q: Which is faster, heat or cold? A: Heat, because you can catch a cold! How hot is it? the cows are giving evaporated milk. the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin' hot water now comes out of both taps. you actually burn your hand opening the car door. you realize that asphalt has a liquid state. the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. the cows are giving evaporated milk. the chickens are lying hard boiled eggs. you start buying stock in Gatorade. the trees are whistling for the dogs. you start putting ice cubes in your water bed. you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. you can say 113 degrees without fainting. Satan decided to take the day off. the four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. your dream house is any house in Alaska. you can make instant sun tea. the trees are whistling for dogs. your car overheats before you drive it. hot water now comes out of both taps. you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face. Minature Golf It was at a miniature golf course on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 3 kids. "Who’s winning?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one, "No, I am" said another. "No," the father said "their mother is!" Robie
  9. ROBIE

    Shaving Cream...

    I have to admit, I've never heard of that song till now. Its good for a laugh and a knowing smile. Robie
  10. This is so cool! I posted it on my facebook page. Robie
  11. IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1. U can't count your hair 2. U can't wash your eyes with soap 3. U can't breathe when your tongue is out Put your tongue back in fool. 10 Things I know about you... 1) U are reading this 2) U are human. 3) U can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips 4) U just attempted to do it 6) U are laughing at yourself 7) U have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5 8) U just checked to see if there is a No.5 9) U laugh at this because you are an idiot & everyone does it too. 10) U are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it Robie
  12. I work out............ side......... That was fun, but I have no clue what the original song sounds like. Not my style of music. Robie
  13. Time to do some deep reading... Robie:pc_coffee:
  14. Pay very close attention to Cat's post in #9!! follow her directions! again, post #9! follow directions! Robie:pc_coffee:
  15. With everything happening around us thies days, this needs to be re- read and re-learned! Robie:pc_coffee:
  16. I'll see your:bump1: and raise you one! :bump1: Robie:pc_coffee:
  17. What Debbie said! Robie:pc_coffee:
  18. Michael, that's a good one and on my list somewhere... Virginia, thanks bunches!
  19. I have been posting little bits of country wisdom on my facebook for a little wile now, and here is my first 20. What ya think? got any more to add? I got plenty more to post as the days come. Robie's Country Wisdom #1: You can take a boy out of the country, but you cant take the country out of the boy. Robie's Country Wisdom #2: Never burn your bridges- you'd be surprised how many times you have to cross that river. Robie's Country Wisdom #3: Worry is wasting today's time cluttering up tomorrow's opportunities with yesterday's troubles. Robie's Country Wisdom #4: Respect cannot be learned, purchased, or acquired- it can only be earned. Robie's Country Wisdom #5: Even a dog knows the difference between being stumbled over and kicked. Robie's Country Wisdom #6: Its sunday, be in church! Robie's Country Wisdom #7: THE man who daily walks with the Lord will always get to where he is going right when he is supposed to. Robie's Country Wisdom #8: Not what we gain but what we give measures the worth of the life we live. Robie's Country Wisdom #9: Burdens should never get us down, except on our knees to pray. Robie's Country Wisdom #10: Admit you're wrong when you're wrong and you'll be all right. Robie's Country Wisdom #11: Make your point, but dont stick anyone with it. Robie's Country Wisdom #12: Prepare for the worst....hope for the best. Robie's County Wisdom #13: The Bible! The Bible will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible. Robie's Country Wisdom #14: There is no perfect church and no perfect christians, just sinners saved by grace! Robie's County Wisdom #15: Be a blessing to your pastor, be in church and on time every sunday. Robie's Country Wisdom #16: The problem with the future is that it usually arrives before we are ready for it. Robie's Country Wisdom #17: Smiling is contagious- frowning outrageous. Robie's Country Wisdom #18: The first thing to try when all else fails is again. Robie's Country Wisdom #19: Something is wrong when kids run wild and dogs are sent to obedience shool. Robie's Country Wisdom#20: We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. a little long, but a good read. Robie:wink (2):
  20. This one or something like this has probably been seen before, but here goes anyway!.... You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! OR You can retire to California where... 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 3. You know how to eat an artichoke. 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought. OR You can retire to New York City where... 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 3. You think Central Park is "nature." 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note: if you have a car). 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. OR You can retire to Minnesota where... 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 3. You have more than one recipe for casserole. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. OR You can retire to the Deep South where... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural. 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense. 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder", or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too. OR You can retire to Colorado where... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. OR You can retire to the Midwest where... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" OR FINALLY, you can retire to Florida where... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people. Robie
  21. I would so love to do this, but its going to be bad timing for me. I hope whever does show up has a great time and learn lots!! Robie
  22. ROBIE

    Father's day

    Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking? Voice: This is my father. Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card. Johnny: I don’t have it. Johnny’s father: Why not? Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? Science student: When my father sees my report card! Joe: What does your father do for a living? Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half. Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters? Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother. A book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson. Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping! Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes. Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit. Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate. Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait! Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast. Jan: Was he mad? Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth! Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders. Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back! Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on Dear Son, I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. love Dad Robie
  23. Fathers then & now Today is one of the first Father's Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English. In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses. Today, it's the size of his minivan. In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home. In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera. In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle. In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business. Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR. In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia. Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams. In 1900, a father smoked a pipe. If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer. In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school." Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice." In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table. Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge." In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream. Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.." In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles. Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted Sega!" In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes. Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol. In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool. Today, he'll get a digital organizer. In 1900, fathers said, "A man's home is his castle." Today, they say, "Welcome to the money pit." In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed for the horses. Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO. In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table. Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald's. In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then. Today, a father's involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools. In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention. Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space." (oh? come here son... ) In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late. Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had that earring?" In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building. Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle. In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated. In 2012, fathers are never truly appreciated. Robie:laughkick:
  24. Computer Problem Report Form Describe your problem: ____________________________________________ Now, describe the problem accurately: ___________________________________________________________________ Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ___________________________________________________________________ Problem Severity:A. Minor__B. Minor__C. Minor__D. Trivial__ Nature of the problem:A. Locked Up__B. Frozen__C. Hung__D. Shot__ Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__ Is it turned on? Yes__ No__ Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__ Have you made it worse? Yes__ Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__ Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__ Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__ Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__ If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? ___________________________________________________________________ How tall are you? Are you above this line? _______ What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? ___________________________________________________________________ If `nothing' explain why you were logged in. ___________________________________________________________________ Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__ How does this problem make you feel? ___________________________________________________________________ Tell me about your childhood ____________________________________________ Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__ Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__ Computer Terminology Are you terrified of your computer? Do you feel out of place and overwhelmed when your friends or coworkers start spouting reams and reams of technical jargon that you will never understand? Then this article is for you! We'll help you get over your fear of technical terminology by tickling your funny bone. We'll start with some definitions that SHOULD be true, and we hope are entertaining. 486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete - Any computer you own. Microsecond - The time it takes for your State-of-the-art-computer to become obsolete. Syntax Error - Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object. GUI (pronounced gooey) - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. Computer Chip - Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming. Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors. Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen. Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation and on business trips. Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline. Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software Internet Junkie Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your computer monitor? How do you know if you're addicted to the Net and losing touch with reality? Take the Net Addict's Reality Test. Answer the following multiple choice questions and check out your score to see if you should be concerned: What do you think are good names for children?a) Scott and Jenny. Bill Gates IV.c) Mozilla and Dotcom. What's a telephone?a) A thing with a round dial you use to talk to others. A telecommunications device with 12 keys.c) Something you plug into a modem. Which punctuation is most correct?a) I had a wonderful day! I had a **wonderful** day!!!c) I had a wonderful day :-) You wake up at 4:00 a.m. and decide to:a) Visit the washroom. Raid the fridge.c) Check your E-mail. What are RAM and ROM?a) A male sheep and a city in Italy. Hulking stars of the WWF.c) I need more of the former and should upgrade the latter. To avoid a virus you should:a) Stay away from people who sneeze and cough. Never read E-mail titled "Good Times".c) Use virus scanning software every time you boot up. When you want to buy something hard-to-find you:a) Ask friends where to purchase it. Check out the Yellow Pages.c) Go to Yahoo! When you don't understand how to use a new appliance you:a) Call the retailer. Call the manufacturer's toll-free number.c) Visit the manufacturer's Web site and look for the FAQ. When you want to see all the beautiful people you:a) Visit a club on a Saturday night. Turn on the TV and tune in to Baywatch.c) Check out the alt.binary newsgroups. How do you introduce yourself at a party?a) Hi, I'm Jane! Hi, I'm a Taurus on the cusp.c) Hi, I'm a 5'10" hot blonde with a super bod. When you're interested in someone at a party you say:a) Tell me more about yourself. What's your star sign?c) What's your Profile? If you really like the person, you say:a) Could you tell me your phone number? What's your E-mail address?c) Let's chat Private. When I say spam, you think:a) Ham in a can. Unsolicited advertising E-mail.c) I mailbomb all spammers! When you receive an AOL trial diskette, you say:a) I don't need another mug coaster. Great! I'll reformat and use it for backups.c) Great! I'll sign up under a fake ID and use up the 50 hours. When you want to research a reference you:a) Open up a volume of your encyclopedia. Slip Encarta in your CD-ROM drive.c) Go to www.altavista.digital.com. When you write a letter you:a) Put pencil to paper. Open Eudora.c) Ask: What's a letter? Is it like E-mail? Different types of text formatting include:a) Writing and printing. Underline and double-strike.c) Bold and italic. You correct errors using:a) An eraser. White-out.c) Backspace or delete. You sign your name:a) Best regards, John Smith. See you in IRC, John_Smith.c) Check out my home page for the cool links, johnsmith@aol.com. To keep a copy of your letter you:a) Insert a carbon and a second sheet. Take it to the photocopier.c) Check your Sent Mail folder. SCORING: Give yourself zero points for each "a" response, five for each "b" and 10 for each "c". If you scored 150 or higher, unplug your computer and log more hours in real life. If you scored between 50 and 145, you're living a good mix of Net and reality. If you scored under 50, you probably didn't read this far. Robie:laughkick:
  25. Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer 10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Huntin". 4. The CPU has a gun rack mount. 3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter". Password selection rules CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471 In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately. RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS: 1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password. 2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords. 3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation for a month. Example: MARCHBC is an invalid password. VWMARBC is an invalid password. 4. A password may not contain the numeric representation of a month. Therefore, a password containing any number except zero is invalid. Example: WKBH3LG is invalid because it contains the numeric representation for the month of March. 5. A password may not contain any words from any language. Thus, a password may not contain the letters A, or I, or sequences such as AT, ME, or TO because these are all words. 6. A password may not contain sequences of two or more characters which are adjacent to each other on a keyboard in a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal direction. Example: QWERTY is an invalid password. GHNLWT is an invalid password because G and H are horizontally adjacent to each other. HUKWVM is an invalid password because H and U are diagonally adjacent to each other. 7. A password may not contain the name of a person, place, or thing. Example: JOHNBOY is an invalid password. Because of the complexity of the password selection rules, there is actually only one password which passes all the tests. To make the selection of this password simpler for the user, it will be distributed to all supervisors. All users are instructed to obtain this password from his or her supervisor and begin using it immediately. Gender and computers Gender and Computers Top nine reasons computers must be male: They have a lot of data but are still clueless. A better model is always just around the corner. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home. It is always necessary to have a backup. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons. The best part of having either one is the games you can play. The lights are on but nobody's home. Big power surges knock them out for the night. Size does matter Top nine reasons computers must be female: Picky, picky, picky. They hear what you say, but not what you mean. Beauty is only shell deep. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing". Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed. Always turning simple statements into big productions. Smalltalk is important. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong. They make you take the garbage out. Robie:laughkick:
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