Darlene Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I closed on my rural home. I was 3 weeks out of having 2 major knee replacements. I was completely out of it from pain pills. I drove with my youngest daughter and our pug, with my car jam packed, and my son following with his truck and the 2 LGD's, and his truck packed, 12 hours from the city, up here to the mountains. A year ago today, my home closed (barely) in Miami, and I closed on my place up here in the mountains. I remember sitting at the long conference table. I still remember what I was wearing...a white skirt and red sweater. I could hardly walk, had 2 huge scars on my knees that were trying to heal. I was medicated with Percocet, feeling totally disconnected, in an enviroment I had never lived before with people I didn't know. I remember the seller saying to me that for $5 he'd call off the whole deal (they regretted selling this place and his wife was still irate with him for doing it). I was in a very vulernable position because I had made commitments that the children's father wasn't backing up and it was really a mess. I remember the first night we spent in this house a year ago today. My oldest son, youngest daughter and I all slept on the floor in my bedroom as there was no furniture yet from the movers. I could barely get down on the floor with my knees so bad, and could barely get up. My children were frightened that first night...the frogs were bellowing, the crickets chirping (or whatever they do). My son kept one of my guns next to him all night because he was afraid...he thought I had moved to a "Deliverance" type place (big city boy that he is). The house and property was absolutely filthy, run down and I was too out of it on the pain pills to have much common sense because even back then, I felt that I'd be able to conqure not only the new mountain I lived on, but the mountains that were standing in my way. I remember waking up at 4am that first morning, really, really blue. Feeling oh so guilty for making this move and throwing my children into a totally different way of life. I was in such pain, I felt so isolated and alone, and I remember going out on the front porch and sitting on the steps (the only seating I had) and looking over the land. A cloud had descended on the mountain that morning as the sun began to rise. It's mists were peaceful and the land that was still asleep was comforting for some reason. I know that my life is not my own...I have the responsibility of 4 children and a host of other things, so it's not all about me, but I hafta say, that inspite of all I went through trying to get up here and after, from the moment I signed those papers, I felt home. So that first morning, I only thing I could think to do, to try to make the children feel safe, was to cook up a huge breakfast and to fill the house (that didn't feel like a home yet) with the smells of bacon, eggs, potatoes, toast. I had brought just a few pots and pans and untensils of which I could find none. All I had was plastic and disposables and that was the morning that I cooked for the first and last time, bacon with a plastic fork. I wrote about some of these experiences those first few days, and a part of me is a little afraid to go back and read what I wrote a year ago. A year ago today, I had just made a commitment to pay a large sum of money for the next 12 months to pay the mortgage off. Everything that was supposed to happen, didn't, and everything that wasn't supposed to happen, did. It was skerry every month when it came time to make that payment and there were times when I didn't know how or if I would be able to. One time, I had to write the check and take it over without the money in my account and I prayed over that check and told the Lord that He had led me up here to these mountains and that He was going to have to cover that check because there was no humanly way possible that I could do it myself. The money was in my account the next morning. So, here I am a year later, reminicing over this past year. It sure ain't been easy, and I've worked harder than I have in years and years, but yesterday I went to the man who held my mortgage and handed him the last check that I owed him. I thanked him for his kindness and generosity for holding that portion of the mortgage and for giving me the opportunity to buy this place. I walked away, feeling kinda stunned cause I still can't grasp God's faithfulness in completing, that which He had started. See, this whole move, this major change in my life, started a few years ago when I was down on my knees praying one morning (like I did every morning). I was happy and content in my home in Miami and in the middle of my prayers, I felt Him impressing on me to pray for more land. He and I went around and around for a while in my prayers...me telling Him that I was happy where I was at, telling Him that there was no way that I could ever move, that I couldn't afford it, that this obstacle and that obstacle stood in the way. I kept sensing Him laying on my heart 'to pray for more land' inspite of all my protestations and after I got done listing all the reasons why not, He reminded me that He is God and that nothing is impossible for Him. So, I said, 'ok, You want me to pray for more land? I'll pray for more land because You ARE God'... That's how it started and 2 years later, I ended up here. One of the biggest things I've learned while walking this journey with Him, is not only His faithfulness to complete what He started, but also that He really does know best. My whole life I rebelled against what I thought He would want me to be or to do. I always wanted to do it my way and suffered much for those choices. I've come to not only understand, but to also comprehend, that His will for each of our individal lives, really IS perfect because I never dreamed I'd be so happy and content to live where, and as, I do. He knew that, even though I didn't. I know I'm rambling and going around in circles, but that's how my mind has been all day, looking over this past year. I paid a huge price in moving here because my 2 boys stayed in Miami, so it's just been the girls and I. My oldest daughter will probably be going back to Miami so she can go to college down there and that's going to break my heart, but I just hafta trust Him, even though I don't always see or understand, that for now at least, this continues to be His perfect will for my life. In spite of all the tough times I've gone through this last year, there's a sweetness too in remembering how each day has been like a ribbon...He's weaved in and around my life faithfully each and every day. I have alot of stories I could tell that I won't bother anyone with right now, that are deep and poignant memories of Him and me. While it sure hasn't been easy, I still love living in the country. I love the people, I love the way of life, I love the beauty of the land that I now own, lock, stock and barrel. I miss my family more than I can say and still cry often over that, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to leave my destiny here in the country. Anyway, thank You Father, for blessing me with all this. We both know that I've not done much to deserve all this, but it's just another example of how great Your love and purpose, grace and mercy is over each of us. I really don't have much words to say that would accurately express what's in my heart, but You understand and know what's there and that's good enough. And to the rest of my friends here, who have been so generous with their support and friendship, a heartfelt thank you to you too...from Cookie rescuing me in Miami with the packing, to westie leaving her home to come help me up here with mine, and everyone inbetween. Link to comment
Becca_Anne Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Congratulations on paying off your home! You have been through so much to get to this point! God is GOOD Link to comment
BiscuitMaker Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 It has been a blessing to walk this path with you my friend. You really are an inspiration, we always think we can't do something and we really can. It is always great to see someone do it. The country is so peaceful and quite one can get in touch with one's feeling. I am so happy for you----- Link to comment
Stephanie Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I love reading your posts Darlene, I feel like we've just sat down chatting together and giving testimony to the goodness of God in our lives! I'm very proud of you!! Paying off your house is HUGE!! Link to comment
RedDaffodil Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 What a great post, Darlene! God is good! Link to comment
Mt_Rider Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Thank You God, for your guidance and your abundance which you share with us...just to see us or . Just cuz you love us. Just cuz you need us placed just so....in order to carry out Your Plans in our lives. (((Darlene)))) MtRider Link to comment
Dee Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 It's hard for me to believe it's been a year and yet I know you're right. I think about how you were hurting so badly from your knees and trying to get things going for your move. You were/are one strong lady boss and just look at how things have progressed in this last year. God and you are a good team my friend. Link to comment
serendipity Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Wow, Darlene. Being new here (only since late last year), I had no idea that you had been through so much. I was aware that you had left a city area and moved to the mountains, but not the timeline. How wonderful what God has brought you through! Thank you for sharing your courageous story with us. Link to comment
HSmom Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 It seems like so much more than, yet so much less than a year. Just the other day, I recalled the morning your dogs stole a thawing roast and ate the whole thing. You sounded so defeated that I called you, and let you talk it out. It's amazing the changes you've experienced this year. Not only have you survived them, but you have grown and learned. Link to comment
Aint2nuts Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Wow, you have climbed mountains and conquered them! Congratulations! Link to comment
Trip Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Fine...good read,but now I got no home , I'm movin in...where can I park my trailer? NO don't whine, you brought it on yourself. But lets get one thing stright. right up front.. The giant turtle in the pond is MINE!!...and I'm gonna ship his carcass to Westy to make soup... Clear?? oh and I have something following me ..up high, black specks...ever canned buzzard? maybe we can try it, you lay out in the yard and don't move for a few days an when they come to dinner I'll nail em!! good plan huh?? Glad you made it a year, most city folk woulda run by now..but youz tuff and stuborn and mean and no quit so.... Good night...home wrecker...thupth Link to comment
mommato3boys Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Has it been a year. It seems just like yesterday the movers had arrived and your son's truck was stuck. Oh wait or was it yesterday that the dogs escaped the kennel? Wow what a roller coaster ride it has been. Congrats on paying off the house. Now breathe!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
JCK88 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 It's not the mountains that get you, it's the pebble in your shoe! Congrats! (on the mountains AND the pebble thing) Link to comment
jeanettecentaur Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Wow. 1 year! You are really blessed... You know I read all the stories of your and other's lives daily, and it's like I know y'all more than I do b/c I ride that emotional wave of struggles and happiness. I remember that everyone was so concerned for you....that you were pushing yourself too much w/ those surgeries back-to-back...you are one tough lady, Darlene! Thank you for sharing how your relationship with God has guided you. I often need a reminder. Link to comment
Darlene Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Originally Posted By: Tripwire Fine...good read,but now I got no home , I'm movin in...where can I park my trailer? NO don't whine, you brought it on yourself. But lets get one thing stright. right up front.. The giant turtle in the pond is MINE!!...and I'm gonna ship his carcass to Westy to make soup... Clear?? oh and I have something following me ..up high, black specks...ever canned buzzard? maybe we can try it, you lay out in the yard and don't move for a few days an when they come to dinner I'll nail em!! good plan huh?? Glad you made it a year, most city folk woulda run by now..but youz tuff and stuborn and mean and no quit so.... Good night...home wrecker...thupth Would you like to repeat that while I spin the wheel on my Colt Python? lolol Link to comment
lunamother Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 (((((Darlene))))) you're an inspiration, a textbook case of insanity, and a terrific friend Link to comment
Crazy4Canning Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Darlene, May your life continue to be a wonderful pattern in the hands of our Master Weaver - we see only glimpses of that colorful ribbon but He sees the whole pattern. I rejoice with you but also cry the tears of joy and relief at the Hand of God moving for you. God is good - all the time! All the time - God is good! I'm so glad you've shared portions of your life with us. It's good to know I'm NOT the only one who's a bit umm...crazy. Link to comment
Lois Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 It is a wonderful feeling to know that the scales are balanced. Congradulations!!! Link to comment
Cowgirl Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Congrats, Darlene! You've come a long way! Link to comment
Jeepers Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Congrats! Just think of all the things you have learned in that one year...and passed on to the rest of us by example. Link to comment
HSmom Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 By the way, did you ever locate your generator? Were you able to get reimbursement from the moving company or your homeowners insurance? Link to comment
Kim_in_IN Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 whoohoo and Praise God!!! Kim Link to comment
Ginger Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 (((((((Darlene))))))) God is so faithful to give us exceedingly more than we could ever ask for! He makes good on granting the desires of our hearts and no one knows our hearts better than He. "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life" Proverbs 4:23 Thank you for sharing His faithfulness and your heart. You are loved,Girl! Link to comment
MomM Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 (((Darlene))) Wow! A whole year later! God is so good, and so faithful! Congratulations on paying off the house! Thank you for sharing and guiding, and being there for us. We love you! Link to comment
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