chefddr Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 My two sons, Michael age 12 soon 13 and Jake age 9 soon 10 were victims of a local pedophile for 2 years. It has started to destroy their lives. I was blessed to get Jake into a Theraputic Foster Care home where he is getting some much needed help. On the other hand, there is Michael. He thinks he is fine, he doesn't need any help, it's over, but he is soooooo that he can't even see straight. He is flunking all his classes in 7th grade, he is smoking, won't stay home for more than a few mintues to eat a meal (sometimes) and then home to sleep. He is supposed to start a 2 week program tomorrow but he is insisting he isn't going to go. He wants to quit school and just do whatever it is that he wants to do. I am praying that he will decide to obey the rules and go to the Partial Program for 2 weeks so that we can get an idea of what type of help he will need in the future. Personally, and I hate to say this, but I honestly think he needs the theraputic Foster Care home that Jake is in. It kills me to have to send my kids away, but he is killing me slowly with the stress. I know of the consequences of the results of being a victim of a pedophile. I have been studying this for months. I know that without help, Michael's life is ruined for good, and right now, he is half way there and he isn't even 13 yet. I'd sell my soul to the devil if I knew for a fact that Michael would have the life he truly deserves full of only good things and he would take the time to get the help we are offering to him instead of fighting us. This mother's heart is breaking, and the pain in my chest isn't doing me much good either. I suffer from Bi-Polar disorder with anxiety, depressino, and PTSD with OCD ~ we like to call ourselves the alphabet soup family, the kids are ADD/ADHD ODD PTSD and borderline bi-polar. The stress just keeps getting worse and I need to keep telling myself I can't get sick, if I do I will loose my kids for good, I can't get sick, I need to work or I will loose everything, I just can not get sick! I think tomorrow since I am not working, I am going to stay in my jammies all day, take long naps, read and do some cleaning. I need a day for me before I loose who I really am. Thanks for the prayers for Michael, you can add Jake too if you like. Link to comment
MomM Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Praying for you and your family. Link to comment
sassenach Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Certainly chefddr! I see the scars in many folks, and I truly hope something will urge your oldest to start getting help. As a parent with several mh issues, and having seen, profoundly, how someone who cant get over the pain (in a man I was very close to) for a couple of years, I truly hope your sons will be able to get recovery. I wouldn't even begin to say what all he went through, and is very sad. I do think recovery, stability and self esteem are possible, and I know it is very difficult to encourage such a wounded child to try that. You certainly are in my prayers, for you too. There is also recovery possible with mh. It all takes some phenomenal effort, especially when we cannot think straight because we are so not so resilent. Try to do what you can in the moment you are in. Just for now. It is certainly ok to get some 'extra help' and I am sure it's designed for that, if you know thats what would keep you from getting really ill and setting things back for a much longer period. If they do get help soon, receive it, they will be that much further along in some much better coping skills and understanding that they will be much further ahead in dealing with the really tough stuff that is unfortunately so common, and if they can do that, they can do anything good in time, once again, and won't give up on themselves. You are so much more ahead of things than you believe right now.. I applaud you! So, and a big Link to comment
HSmom Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Chefddr, I am sorry for all the pain you and your children have suffered/are suffering. My prayers are with you all. Link to comment
Stephanie Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 I don't know how I missed this and am sorry to be so long to reply. I too will pray. I think the most challenging crisis a parent faces is when they realize "they are not enough" and that there needs to be an intervention. I applaud you for being willing to experience a temporary separation if that is what is best for your child. I will pray for your children and for you to have the wisdom to do what is best. Link to comment
Ginger Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Lord, you know these boys and this dear mama's heart cry! Send Your healing rain over these many deep wounds. Link to comment
Snowmom Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I am so sorry for all you are going through. I will for you and your family. Please keep us updated on how things are going. Link to comment
gimmeaminute Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 You and your family are in my prayers. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. Know that THE LORD JESUS CHRIST knows your pain and helps those who cry out in his name. Link to comment
zzelle Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 praying here for you and your children take care i pray everything works out Link to comment
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