Worrying about my Mom's safety

[Homemaker]

I hope this doesn't sound like a rant about my Mom. I'm just worrying that she really doesn't have a clue how dangerous this world is.

I just found out that she and my step-dad have been making friends with a man in their trailor park who has been in jail. Now, I'm not against people who have paid for their crimes, and I know that prison time does get some people to reconsider the way they have been living their lives, but the statistics show that our prison system really doesn't do a good job at reforming.

Now, this alone wouldn't have bothered me much, but my Mom is very open with people, even strangers. She tends to run off at the mouth and say whatever pops into her mind. I've seen her tell strangers in the store her life story. I've had people come up to me at church to tell me they are sorry I have been having problems with...(an embarrasing ailment I certainly never told anybody at church.) I made the mistake of telling my Mom. I know things about my brothers and relatives I should have never been told. I worry that she will let this man, or anybody else know about the medications they have in the house, the guns and ammo for hunting and the collections of coins my step-dad has.

She said the reason they have been so nice to him, giving him food, letting him borrow the mower and tools is so he will like them and not do anything to them.

On top of this, their porch door is never locked. They were having problems with the lock, so they don't use it. I told her anybody could see that they attend church every Sunday, walk into the porch room and work in total privacy opening the inner door. She's sure that will never happen because they have dogs inside. Anybody can see that their 3 dogs are yappy, yet harmless poodles and laso apsos.

 

I think my mom believes she lives in Mayberry, and the people who go to jail are like loveable Otis being locked up for getting into some moonshine. When I try to talk to her she seems agitated and resentful. She doesn't take criticism well.

I feel like I'm my Mom's mom instead of her daughter.

[Annarchy]

((((Homemaker))))

 

Sounds like your mother is sort of like mine. My mom will talk to anyone, literally. She was a bail bond agent for years and I lost count how many time she helped someone out and was stabbed in the back for her efforts. Yet, through all that, she still believes people are good and just need to be given a chance. Blind faith.

 

There was nothing I could do to stop her or make her change her ways, so, for me my only resort was to pray even harder for her safety.

 

[ScrubbieLady]

Unfortunately, you cannot TELL ypiur parents what to do. We have just had to do a good bit of work to my Mom's house because she would never mention the problems she had. My sister finally got to digging and found a LOT. So, when she was out of town visiting family, sis and bil and some people they hired went down and did a couple of weeks work. I am 1000 miles away so I can do is encourage, consult and help pay.

 

Is there any other problem with your Mom's house that you could justify "helping" them and in the process get the lock fixed? Not a full solution but some help.

[Homemaker]

I'm not allowed to buy anything for them since they can't afford to buy us presents. This is under orders from them. My step-dad is very proud and wouldn't accept help, even though he gets great joy from helping others. The only thing I can think of is to replace the locks on our house and give them our old ones. They'll think we're wasteful replacing perfectly good locks, but at least they'll be safer.

 

Actually, I just remembered that my daughter's bedroom door is a key locking exterior door knob. We got it for her when we had the neighbor girl living with us. She liked to make herself at home. I'll have to find out where she put the key.

 

Perfect solution to that part of the problem. Thanks for getting me thinking!!!

[cowgirl8]

I'm probably like your mother. I've been this way for all my life. My grandmother first noticed it and it horrified her. She has preached to me about the dangers of strangers since I was old enough to understand, probably even before. All my life I've looked over my shoulder for that kidnapper who has been after me..lol. I've never met a stranger and can have long conversation with a perfect stranger in a auto repair waiting room( happened the other day and I learned a lot from this elderly lady in the 2 hours I sat next to her)

I feel that I can judge a persons character by just watching and listening to my gut feelings. So far its worked for me. If my mom were in the same situation, I'd probably would be worried too, but remember, she got to a ripe old age on her own(unless she's been taken advantage of I don't know about)

As far as locks, they are kind of a joke. If a person wants in your house they will get in.

[The MacKinnon]

I know some folks are talkative like your mom and it is a problem, but it's going to get worse. This upcoming generation blogs, twitters, texts and IMs (at the same time! ) and everyone knows everything about them! We had a short video during our in-service about being discreet on the Net. The focus was one teen girl who was running errands and everyone "knew" her from her facebook account - down to her underwear selection for the day. Very sobering.

 

I think your idea to switch their locks out is a good one. I know you wish you could do more, but at least you can do this - and pray. I know this is tough. My elderly mom thinks she can come and go like she did when she was 60 or 70 (or less). Sometimes it's inspiring, but most of the time it's incredibly draining to run interference for her.

 

Prayers for you from here.

[Homemaker]

Actually, she was taken advantage of by a man she met at the store that she invited over for dinner. This was before she married my stepdad, only about 15 years ago. The problem is that she doesn't listen to the person and give herself time to get a gut feeling. She just talks on and on. She really reminds me of a little kid who doesn't have the wisdom not to know when to shut up. She is very childlike. She worked with preschool age children all her life and never really had many adult friends. She has a simple mind, just like a child. If it weren't for the fact that she's been this way for so long, I'd wonder if she had dimentia or something.

It's fine to be friendly, we all appreciate the people who break the ice and reach out easily to extend friendship. We've all been grateful for that special kind of person, especially when you're at a social event or new to a church or job, but if that person doesn't have wisdom to hold them in check they can get into a lot of trouble.

You're so right, Cowgirl, about the locks. They just keep little kids and honest people out.