Am I way out of my league???

[Guest Guest]

Hi everyone! It's me again! I have had this feeling (and I think I have shared this before) for a while now that I have to be prepared for...something. I'm not sure what, but something.

I feel in my heart that I should learn how to can, sew, knit, bake, cook from scratch (I do a lot of that already) and when we get our own place, have our own garden and some chickens...

But, I feel such an urgency about it! The thing is, my husband is a city boy and would be thrilled to not have to do much after returning from work (he's in school now, but once he gets a job), but be with his family. I realize that having a piece of land and a garden and all that is a lot of work, so am I out of my mind in wanting this? He's willing to move out to the country, as long as we have at least a small city not too far away. But chopping wood, and stuff like that...just not what he would like to do.

But...I do feel very strong about this, so I am praying that if it's the Lord's will, He will provide for a good paying job for my husband that will have good hours (so he can still spend evenings and weekends with us)and will allow us to get out of debt, and of course, help us pay for a nice piece of land.

Well, just sharing what's in my heart...thanks for "listening"! You guys are great encouragers!

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Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, and His love endures forever!

[Guest Guest]

Hi, HappyGirl:

I, too, felt the need to "get prepared for something." I have no idea what or when this something is or if it is just my imagination, but it seems like a good idea to be prepared even if nothing happens. Most people would not be without insurance if they could help it...this is a kind of insurance. I grew up during the cold war; to be honest, I never really worried that much about "the bomb" because the Russians, though communistic and totalitarian, at least had the same desire to survive as we did and thus, mutually-assured distruction really worked.Now days, though, these terrorist groups are fanatics and we are without even the deterrance of mutually assured distruction. Plus, chemical and biological warfare are possible. I don't worry much about chemical, seeing as I don't live near a major population center, but nuclear and biological weapons could affect us all. On top of this, the economy is in many ways, worse than it has been since the '30's. People on farms and people with agricutural and "make-do" skills suffered during the depression, but not as badly as those in cities (with the exception of those directly affected by the dust bowl). Finally, the social fabric of our society seems to be disintegrating. All these things make self-sufficiency, in as much as is possible in one's situation, to be a good idea! Don't get me wrong --- I don't think anyone here is a reactionary, just prudent!

I notice your signiture has a bible verse -- I think you are just being like the Proverbs 31 wife...you will be able to smile at the future because you have done what you can and trust God for the rest.

BTW, my situation is different than yours but with similar results...my dh is supportive of preparation...problem is, he has back problems and can't be out doing too much hard labor as a result. I have an autoimmune disease so my abilities are somewhat limited as well, though I do mega amounts of container gardening (so that we don't have to stoop too much) and plan to get chickens this spring. We live near a city...not a large one, but big enough to have an airport with connections since my husband's job involves travel (he works mainly at home, but has to visit clients sometimes). Land is more expensive near populated areas, but there are advantages, too. You have a better choice of friends, activities, homeschool groups or schools, and churches (if you attend). It takes us about 1/2 hour to get to the edge of our "city," but there are smaller towns a bit closer.

[Guest Guest]

You have a rough road to walk when you are married to a city boy and you are being drawn so strongly to the country. Been there done that and still doing it again with new husband.

Previous marriage, husband didn't like living in town but when I bought us 20 acres and started farming it, he was always whining and complaining. He got to the point where he forced his wishes on me and one of them was to stop me from doing what God called me to do. He knew all of this before he married me but thought since he was the man I was to do as he said and there would be no problems. Well when he started trying to make me obey him before God........ End of story (it was a nightmare that I lived through because God would not allow me to die. God gave him plenty of chances to change, he made his choices and God moved him out.)

Now I am with my new husband who is also a city boy. He has never had to deal with so much work and problems before. His way of dealing with things was to ignore them until he was forced to deal with them and had no other choice but to deal with them. That is why his daughter is so out of control and fighting us daily for control of us. She got me out of bed at 4:30 am because she decided if she had to get up and take care of HER dog, I had to get up also. Once awakeend, I could not fall back asleep.

My husband is a good man and has a good heart. We reciently became pastors (about 2 weeks ago), not sure where God is taking us with it yet but we both know we are called to work for God. But before we can, my husband needs to learn how to become the head of the household and not his daughter. The more he avoids straightening out his daughter, the worse God allows it to get until he finally has had enough and takes back the control that belongs to him not her.

Our relationship is badly suffering as a result of it and we have only been married 3 weeks today, we got married before we planed also because of her (our planed wedding is in 9 days).

My husband wants to farm and do what God has planned out here for his ministry on this farm. But being a city boy it has not been easy on him. He at first wanted to quit and not farm at all. He was used to going to work, coming home, eating dinner, watch a little tv and go to bed. But he suddenly had more responsibility, more work, less time to sit around, less time to relax. We have had a few fights over it. We have lost animals because of it. We have endured some real hardships but in the end when it came down to what do we do? He knows God wants him to get with it and learn it. He has made the discission every time that he has to apply himself even when he does not want to.

It has been very hard on him, on us. But nothing has been forced on him. He has made the choice to climb over every hurdle. We still face a lot of hardship ahead, especally where his daughter is concerned. It won't be easy, especally for him, but he has choosen to do it and be a part of a ministry God is building here on our homestead.

Any obsticle that is in God's way, he will remove it, any thing that is not right and will be a hinderance to what God wants, he will make us deal with it and become ready for his will. That is what is happening here. My husband can not be an efective worker for God if he can not even get his own household in order.

God is moving us hard and fast. We too feel the urgency. It is like he is saying to us, you want to be a part of this then do what is needed to be done and quickly because I don't have a lot of time left. What we are going through here on a daily basis, most families could not survive through. As my husband says all the time, everyday it has gotta be something. God says if you slumber I'll find someone else who will do it instead. (not exactly in those words but still the same meaning)

Why am I saying all of this? Because God is preparing and gathering his ppl. together all across the world and those who are willing will come and be a part of what ever his plan is, those who hesitate, well...... If you feel the urgency then my guess is that God is calling and preparing you and your family. My guess is that you and your husband are very close and he is willing and wants to be a part of what you want for your family. He will try and do what he needs to do to become what God wants him to be as a husband and father. I just want you to see that if this is where God is taking you as a family that your husband is going to go through some major adjustments. He will need your patience, guidance, support understanding and more importantly your prayers to get him through this. In the end you all will become a LOT stronger as a family.

Some times, most of the times we have to be torn in order to heal properly and be of use to God. We as humans don't like to be in pain so we avoid it when some times it is less painful to face the pain head on, go through it and save ourselves a lot of pain and suffering down the road.

Am I making any sence here? Sometimes I wonder about these things.

They say the women are the weakest link, I wonder sometimes if it was a man that came up with that. There are a few exceptions but most men I know and have known are pretty dependant on their wives and it is a very special and rare man that allows a woman to be dependant on her husband also. To be of service to God we are to be dependant on God first, than on each other. If we allow things to get in the way or interfer with that than we are of no use to God in a ministry capasity. So god will perge us in the fire (spiritually), so that we can come out like a fine piece of gold when he is done molding us. We will be like him.

I may be wrong, but if you feel that strong of an urgency, I feel God is preparing you and he is also trying to prepare you, so you can prepare your family when he feels it is the right time for them to get prepared. I have not seen the urgency and the strong drawing of a person without God soon doing something with it. He said you are his because he called you. If he had not called you, you would not feel a need to become his.

I would go to him in prayer and ask him to guide you in your steps as you try to follow him and learn what he wants you to learn.

That he would help you prepare your family for what ever is ahead of you. Ask him to show you what he has planned for you and your family. Sometimes he will show us, sometimes he won't because if he did we couldn't handle it and would fight it. But if he just moved us along day by day, when we get there, we look back in awe and amazement at what we acomplished.

I hope this is not confusing to you and is of some help. I personally feel you are being groomed by God, I felt it from your first letter to me, that is why I directed you here. I felt the love and support you will recieve here will help you along your journey. You said you promised to give back to those at this place everything they have given you when you have learned enough to contribute. What you don't realise is that you are already giving. I have read the encouraging messages you have posted to others here and myself.

You are also a ray of sunshine to me. Things are really tough here. The poem that brought us together...... I live it. I posted it on that site where we met as a statement to those who sat in judgement of myself and my husband. It was my final words to them as I closed out my membership to that site. I was pretty upset over how they condemed us for the problems we are having with our (my husband's) child. And I was even condemed for what I just did here..... (husband's child, not mine) She is is our child, we raise her together. We are in this good or bad together, but I had no say in how she was raised until 1 1/2 years ago.

Besides, what is in the past is the past, what has been done has been done, I can't chane that, nor can he. We try to learn from our mistakes and do better in the present. We are trying to undo as much of the past as possable. I posted the same message here as there that got them so stirred up on the other site. Here not one negative word was said to us. The people here gave us support and words of encouragement, and a lot of prayers that we both felt.

On the site where you and I met, some of the people felt it was there duty (some even made statements like, well if no one is going to say it to you I will.)to smear our noses in it, twist what we said, put words into our mouths that we never said and condemn us. We felt we had been tryed, convicted and hung for all to watch and see just how much of a failure we are as parents.

Then along came your email to me. You call yourself Happy Girl. I call you sunshine because your email came to me through the storms and thunder that was brewing on a site where some ppl just plain have no compassion. You was like a ray of sunshine to me in the midst of the storm. You did not realize it but you knelt down before me and gently picked me up. You helped us heal our wounds.

See Sharon, you never knew what you did when you wrote to me for the first time. You are not just doing that to me, but to others here also. I see it. You jumped right in here and became a part of us, you did not hesitate, I sent you this site and you posted the very same night. You also left other words of encouragement here that night for me. YOU ARE AN ACTIVE MEMBER of this family and giving back to us more than we are giving to you. What is a few lessons in homesteading compared to the compasion and love you have given and are giving?

(((((((((((((((((Happy Girl)))))))))))))))))

 

Now you gone and done it! You got me all teary eyed and sentimental.

Hill

A problem is just a challenge waiting to be conquered.

Impossibilities are just possibilities waiting to be made possible.

You can't stop the curve balls of life but you can choose how you will handle them.

[Guest Guest]

HappyGirl, all of us started on this path at the beginning. No you're not out of your mind or else I am too! For now, just concentrate on what is in your circle of influence. Take it one step at a time with DH. It's hard to justify the work if they don't see a threat. But that doesn't mean you have to give up!

If your DH is willing to try to live in the country then you have half the battle won. He will rise to the occasion as the situation merits even if it may appear he is resisting the work. It takes time to build up the acceptance understanding of what will be needed. I too have a DH who is not really a "homesteader" type. However he is supportive of my need to store food and aquire tools as a kind of insurance policy for the future. I am taking it one step at a time, grooming him for the role he may have to fill if the situation in the world makes living off the land necessary.

You can do quite a lot even with a smaller piece of property so there is room for compromise. Containers, square foot gardening, trelises and carefully planned fruit trees can provide a lot of food. You might need less land than you think. Maybe you will have to compromise, and have smaller animals like chickens and rabbits not cows if he's not up to it. That is probably as much farm as my DH is willing to go for unless I want all the work of a larger animal. He's really not a farm type, but he is willing to go somewhere in the middle for me because he understands how much this means to me.

You are on track learning as much as you can about making from scratch. I taught myself to can, crochet and knit and make quilts. It's not always pretty but I'm learning and it's improving. I at least would be able to provide my family with sweaters and blankets. Scraps of fabric can make quilts and you can even cut up old cotton shirts you buy at a second hand store for those if fabric is too expensive. Build up your inventory of supplies gradually and look at yard sales. This is also a skill you could make $ with if the economy turns sour. So few people know anything about making anything that you'd never be without customers!

I still can't bake bread It always turns out like a rock LOL, but I can make quick breads like a pro so don't let it get you down if you can't do everything. Just do the best you can and keep learning, it will fall into place. None of us can be prepared for everything, but concentrate your efforts on the things that are universally useful in any scenario rather than getting overspeciallized in one area.

It's harder to motivate my DH when he doesn't see it as a real survial issue right now. But I don't let that stop me from preparing the best I can. Someday we will live on a piece of land and grow our own food. Even if it means I do most of that work! I am hoping we will be able to settle in the west where the climate is warmer so my DH will be happier outside. He hates the harsh weather here, having grown up in WA state where it is almost always mild.

So for now, gather up all the information you can. Print out lists of supplies and tools you will need. Start with the ones you can use now, basic toolchest kinds. A hammer, nails, screwdriver, screws, shovel and an ax, a staple gun and plastic sheeting can make a sturdy shelter in an emergency. Water for your family for a week, food for several weeks and you are way more prepared than most!

I understand your urgency, befrore Y2K I felt the same way. Over time I have really started to give over my fear to God and just do what I can to prepare knowing that as long as I have done my best that is all I can expect form myself. Let your DH concentrate on his schooling for now, and just encourage him to find a job somewhere when he graduates where the land prices are affordable. Then you will at least be able to realize your dream of a homestead and save for just the right place.

LOL I wrote a book, I hope it makes sense! I will post lists when I get the chance if you want them.

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[Guest Guest]

Happygirl, I married a big city boy, and though we only have a 1/4 acre, it's still alot to take care of. We have a lot of trees, flower beds, etc. At first, he was very resistant to working out in the yard. 5 years later, he truly seems to enjoy it, and he surly has acquired a green thumb. He built me a raised veggie garden, but he's always the one that wants to pick the harvest.

We had a number of fights back in 99 when I first discovered this site, and stated my preparations, but now he's with me all the way. I learned to can....and especially like to can meat, pie fillings, and veggies that are expensive by the can. I was amazed at how easy canning is, and it's just a way of life now.

We are pretty well prepared as far as food, water, fire wood, first aid, alternative cooking methods, and clothing, as long as we can stay here. I remember how overwhelming it seemed at first, as there was SO much that we needed, but Little by Little goes the Fiddle. Working steadily and slowly, we were there in just over a year. Now, keeping up and rotating is easy.

Ease him into it, and before long, he'll think it was his idea! good luck.

[Guest Guest]

Hi Happygirl! thanks for responding to my post! I have found what works with my husband is convincing him that whatever it is i want to do (within reason of course) is ultimately to give US a better life, not just me, and that it will also help to give our future children a better life...it just might work in your case...maybe?

[gardnmom]

You are not going to be alone in your quest for survival, that is somthing to keep in mind. Where ever you are if you have learned skills that can provide for your family, others have learned some also.

You will be able to barter for what you need with skills that you have. wheather its sewing, baking bread, knitting or raising vegetables or providing eggs to others for milk. You can also barter your labor for some things. It is not necessary to have every skill or even to provide all needs for beyond a couple of months. by then you will have gotten to the point where you can trade what you have learned or stocked up on for the other things.

When push comes to shove Christians work together.

We must do what we can and leave the rest to our Father.

Blessings on you and yours.

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Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when

our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

[Guest Guest]

You guys are all awesome (small "a", only God gets a BIG "A" )! Every time I think I have heard you say the greatest thing, you go and supass it! Thank you all for your great advice and encouragement. And yes, Hill, I got teary-eyed, too!

I'd like to ask you all a HUGE favor...I keep reading about these lists...could you guys write some out for me when you get a chance (thanks for offering, Becca, I guess I'm taking you up on it!)? I would like to be prepared...the truth is, when the anniversary of 9-11 came, I went on a crazy search trying to find lists or something, telling me what I would need or what I should do in case disaster struck. This is the only place I found:

www.lacetoleather.com/hom.html

I just went to www.lacetoleather.com to make sure it wasn't a porn site that I was posting here for you all to see. It's not. In fact, it looks like it's a Christian site!

Anyway, I printed out the list in case I ever do need it, and I can't get it off the internet. My goal is to be able to have some stuff ready, yet it's not easy living in an apartment. So, I'm praying that the Lord will hold off the whatever the "something" is that I feel so stongly I need to prepare for!

Thank you all so much in advance! And again, thanks for your loving words and encouragement!

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Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, and His love endures forever!

[gardnmom]

Here is a very good site to check out.

under preparedness

http://www.millennium-ark.net/News_Files/Hollys.html

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Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when

our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.