need prayers fast

[S.K.]

I don't post much , just read. But I need prayers to make the right choice.

 

I have watched all my sisters kids until they are old enough to watch them self. anyway Her youngest starts pre k tomorrow. a week earlier then she was suppose to I was away for the weekend got back text my sister then she text me and said she would be off because first day her DD goes to school which the school changed a whole week earlier. I sent her a email last week asking what she was going to do when she starts pre k . I get $90 a week to watch her from 5:00 am (which I go to her house 12 mins there and back every morning my DD gets out the car and walks to the door and gets her so total is 30 mins there and back) ) I work 4 days one week and 5 days the second week. and her dad gets her from me between 3:40 pm to 4:30 pm. well when i found out last min. she got into pre k 2 weeks before school starts . I asked her what she was going to do since I would have to get her in the morning and take her to meet the bus. told her it was going to be alot on me and my car, getting her daughter in morning and taking her to bus plus taking my dd to work and getting her from work.(now my DD pays me gas but on the days she worked she would just take the car and come home when she gets off but since I need the car she can not do that she is looking for a car but Can't find one she can afford)

 

this is what my week would be

Monday/ Wednesdays / Fridays (every other Friday I would not have sisters dd)

5:00 am go get sisters child

7:30 am take my dd to work

12:30 pm take sisters dd to school bus

3:40 pm go get my dd from work

 

Tuesdays and Thursdays

5:00 am go get sisters child

12:30 pm take sisters dd to school bus

 

so since it was so much running and I would have sisters DD when school was closed all day I said $90 a week still and her husband can bring her dd to me in the morning or pay me more money to go pick her dd up in the morning if her husband did not want to go out his way 20 mins. well she That what i get paid for already was enough since i would only have her half a day she said no she can take her to a license daycare for $85 and the lady would take her to the bus , plus she said she can claim it on her taxes ( She does not claim it on her taxes now. she says I am not being fair I think I am I get one weeks paid vacation and if she is off for vacation i still get paid (which at any daycare she would have to do this) I text her and told her I would talk with my husband then she texts me back and says drop the price from $90 and they will pay extra for when i take her to the bus, well this is not fair because i never know when she will take off work for nothing and if she is off then she will take her to the bus . so i cant make drs appointments and stuff until in the late afternoons after i out her on the bus. I think I should get paid no matter if i but her on the bus or not.I just don't know what to do my husband says to tell her go some where else and that me or him will get a part time job in the evening to make up the difference because with him not getting his pay cut back yet we need the money. and in a way this sounds great one of us getting a side job but there are not much place that will hire you for 3 or 4 days a week. It would be great if his job would give him his money back. I have issues already with my sister way to many to get in to , but one that really bothers me is I cant even correct her kid I am not even allowed to put her in time out.

 

 

Please pray and ask for help in making the right decision in this matter I just want to make sure I do the right thing so this is why i am asking for prayers from you all

 

I am so sorry this is so long but I just wanted you to know some details on whats going on, Thanks in advance for your prayers

[Cat]

**praying**

 

May it work out best for you and for the child. It sounds as complicated as much of my interactions with my sis.

[Annarchy]

((((((SK)))))))

 

[Jeepers]

I'm praying for you too!

[Mt_Rider]

SK.....I worked in human service with other people's children for 20 yrs. Most of that time was spent dealing with/trying to undo damage. So I'm going to say something strongly that comes from that experience.

 

No adult should EVER be in charge of a child that they are not able to - or allowed to- correct. Not EVER!

 

It gives the child both a sense of HIGHLY inappropriate power and a sense of fragility because they inately know that no one carries the burden of responsibility for them. No one is there to rein them in or put up the safety of boundries for them. This is extremely damaging to the child and leaves the adult playing the fool. Which is likely why you're so uncomfortable with that idiotic demand. If your sister gave instructions that you cannot correct HER child...... ......GET OUT! And pray for her children.

 

Responsibility without the power to carry it out is a cesspool no one should step into willingly. It is COMPLETELY inappropriate of your sister to set these illogical parameters.

 

 

MtRider [ praying God will provide a means to make up that income ]

[Christy]

+1 Rider. Couldn't have said it better.

That alone is reason enough to pull out of this situation.

 

Plus there seems to be a power struggle between siblings and that's a waste of time and effort PERIOD.

[Daylily]

If it were me, I would tell her to go ahead and put her in daycare for $85 and then I would be free to do what I needed to do with my time and my car. That sounds like a great way out of a bad situation to me!

[snapshotmiki]

I am praying for you Shirley. It just sounds like a really difficult situation. If it was for the money, I would have to seek employment elsewhere as working with family just does not work for me.

[themartianchick]

As I was reading through the posts, I was thinking something along the lines of what Mt. Rider and Daylily said.. When I got to their posts, I thought that they had mind-reading abilities! No child can be in my home if I don't have the ability to correct their behavior. Eventually, you tell her to sit down and the child will thumb her nose at you... It just isn't worth putting myself through that for a pittance that is given begrudgingly.

 

Let your sister put her in daycare and find out that those centers DO discipline the children...What is she gonna do then? I'd bet that she will change her tune. Sometimes, family members want the rules to be different, the pay to be less and the hassle to be increased when a relative is providing a service.

 

Meanwhile, if you want to provide childcare for the extra money, then put the word out among friends, church, send up smoke signals or whatever it takes! There is a childcare shortage and plenty of parents would be willing to spend their own gas to get their children to you.

[S.K.]

thank you all for your prayers I agree with you all I tell her mom or dad that she does not listen and they do nothing they let her have her away at home her older brothers have to do everything for her and give her what she wants. this has been a on going battle for years and my kids see she gets her way and the baby of mine says she should get in trouble.

 

when i moved 2 years ago I tried to do daycare and my own older sister turned me in because I was not license (she is a license daycare provider, in a different area but she did not want me to take her busniess). So if you do not have a license you can not watch kids, unless they are family. and with me living in a trailer I can not get license. All the church members with kids are all homeschooled, or live to far away from me.

 

The funny thing is she says she likes knowing her kids are taking care of since she has to go to work.

 

Right know I am going to tell her I will work till this Friday and then she needs to find someone else to watch her DD. I told my husband I feel I am being fair with 90 a week and her husband bring her here in the morning not no different if she goes to another daycare they have to take her there in the morning anyway. and if they wanted me to get her in the morning pay me extra. I'm tired of bending and getting nothing in return.

 

I know whats going to happen I'm going to tell her take her somewhere else and she will change her tune. I am going to send her emails in the matter no more text so I have everything in writing. She is trying for another kid also.

 

Thanks so much for all your prayers and for the great advice.

[Vic303]

prayer sent!

[Snowmom]

Sk, I am so glad you have decided to do this.

 

I am thinking around this area they get that much or more for day care.

 

I've always said that I wouldn't babyset for even our grandchildren if I couldn't make them mind. There is no way I would let them get by doing things my own children couldn't do.

 

You will be more relaxed and stress free without this problem.

 

Praying for all of you.

 

Take care.

[snapshotmiki]

Shirley, Have you considered "sitting" with an elderly person? I have done that on and off for years. Perhaps there might be someone living close to you.

[snapshotmiki]

SORRY, DOUBLE POST!

 

 

[S.K.]

never thought of that but it would have to be for a couple hours a night I have 6 kids at home well 5. I will look in to that. My husband says to stand my ground and give her the choice to keep me watching her dd or go some where else. whith my sisiter you have to be very careful on what you say she takes it very different . I am leaving it all in Gods hands I was going to tell her take her child elsewheres but then really got thinking and if I put it that way the outcome could be bad.

[Violet]

SK.....I worked in human service with other people's children for 20 yrs. Most of that time was spent dealing with/trying to undo damage. So I'm going to say something strongly that comes from that experience.

 

No adult should EVER be in charge of a child that they are not able to - or allowed to- correct. Not EVER!

 

It gives the child both a sense of HIGHLY inappropriate power and a sense of fragility because they inately know that no one carries the burden of responsibility for them. No one is there to rein them in or put up the safety of boundries for them. This is extremely damaging to the child and leaves the adult playing the fool. Which is likely why you're so uncomfortable with that idiotic demand. If your sister gave instructions that you cannot correct HER child...... ......GET OUT! And pray for her children.

 

Responsibility without the power to carry it out is a cesspool no one should step into willingly. It is COMPLETELY inappropriate of your sister to set these illogical parameters.

 

 

MtRider [ praying God will provide a means to make up that income ]

 

 

Boy, do I agree with Mt. Rider ! You sure don't need that sort of treatment from your sister and her child....

I say make her grow up and be responsible. Don't be a doormat for her.

[AMarthaByHeart]

I agee with Mt. Rider. Your sister is trying to manipulate you. Stand your ground. I will be praying for you to have wisdom.

[S.K.]

you all have no idea how much it means to me that you all are praying I sure can feel them. I sent her a email telling her I am not going no less and that her husband is to bring her to me in the morning and I am only 5 dollars more then if she went somewhere else and it was her choice what she wants to do . My husband says yo go down to $85 I said no I am not giving in. If she takes her somewhere else they have the right to but her in time out, plus other things they have to take napes or lay there for 2 hours in the afternoon so if schools closed she has to take a nap and they hated when i let her fall asleep because she is up all night but that is her mothers fault she lets her stay up late. I am not moving from my price and if she wants me to get her in the morning it will cost more. She is trying to get me to go cheaper and shge nows i need her monsy to make it but I am leaving it in God's hands and not moving if she decides to take her somewhere else I know God will provide the money some how. I have peace over it all. Please keep praying I can still use them.

 

My friend asked why not tell her go somewhere else. (1) i'm being what a christian should be (well trying to be ), (2) i now how she will make things worst if i do that, (3) I fell I'm doing the right thing and making her decide what to do and (4) I take her 11 year old sone to church with me since she stoped going and if I tell her to go somewhere else she will stop him from going. She got out 4 years ago and her oldest 14 is out and wants nothing to do with Church he use to love going and loved serving the Lord and now he does not.

 

 

THABKS again for all the advice and prayers. What i forgot to mention I do correct her vchild when she is bad but don't tell my sister I do it in a way her child has no idea what is going on. I will hear back from her in the morning once she gets to work and reads the emails but I am not worried about it like I was.

[Christy]

What i forgot to mention I do correct her vchild when she is bad but don't tell my sister I do it in a way her child has no idea what is going on.

SK, hunbun, if you cannot tell in honesty to your sister how you discipline her child, something is very very wrong. I'll say it again, this sounds like a power struggle between you and your sister. Can't be good for anyone, particularly the child who will feel every emotion.

Hoping for a good outcome.

[S.K.]

Thank you so much for your prayers God heard your prayers.

 

She finaly agreed to what i wanted, I just told her if she did not like my price then she needed to go some where else

 

Thanks again so much

[Ambergris]

Stand firm, honey. She will try to back you off once your guard is down.