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Forgive me if I disappear


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I recieved word yesterday that my brother is worse than he was letting everyone believe. He was in such pain this weekend that he finally caved and went to the ER. He was admitted and our fears were confirmed. He has stage 4 cirhosis of the liver due to his many years of drinking like a fish. At this point they are controling his pain. But from what my sister and I can pick out of him (which isn't much) he doesn't have long left in this life. He is getting his business in order and saying his goodbyes in his own way. He will be 61 in three weeks.

 

I am struggling with my own issues with this, there are times I hate him and times I dearly love him. Now my prayer is that a miracle will happen and they can control his pain through to the end. I used to be a unit secretary on the oncoloy floor and I watched to many people suffer because no matter what was done the pain could not be controled. I don't want him in pain.

 

Outside of our family (my sister, me and our mom) he is alone. He is divorced and has a so so relationship with his only daughter due to the many years of alocholism.

 

I say all that to say if I disappear you will know that I have gone back to AL for a while to be with family during this difficult time.

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MM2three...I understand. I have lost 2 brothers, both of whom were very close to me. Watching them slip away (from whatever is taking their lives here on earth) is the hardest thing in the world outside of losing a spouse (which I did). It will be a struggle during and after, mainly because of our inherent ability to think on the "what if I hadn't of done that". I'm not sure there's any way to get past it, I think we can only get through it. I had to quit trying to bargain with God for their lives and accept the grief as something I had to go through. My prayers are with you...hugs to MM2Three. Hopefully you'll find a bit of time to say hello to everybody here when you can.

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That's hard to read. I'm sorry you and your family have to go through this. :pray:

 

Of course family has to come first. Thanks for letting us know. Take care of yourself too and know we will be here waiting for you to get back. :hug3:

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Oh Mommato3.....so sorry to hear this. We'll all be praying .... pop back in for a hug when you can. No matter what the outcome or what has gone before, these present moments are important! Spend them as well as you are able.

 

MtRider :pray: ((((Mto3)))))

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Well I have come to the realization that I probably will never see him alive again. As hard as I am working to get everything in order to go back AL he is slipping away faster. I had hoped to leave early next week but I am not sure he is going to make it through the weekend. Yesterday he has asked me not to come and is content talk to me on the phone. Today he doesn't want to be alone. My sister is there waiting on the doctor and then she will call me back once she finds out exactly what is going one. They could not do the biopsy because he is not stable and with what everyone is telling I doubt they will get him stable.

 

To top it off I got up with the stomach bug this morning. So now I have to wait 24 hours before I can travel, I do not want to travel until I am sure I am over this plus I really don't want to share my germs.

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My sincere prayers are with you and your family. I just lost my brother suddenly on Feb. 4th. So, suddenly, from a heart attack in our home. He lived with me for over 22 years. He would have been 60 on Feb. 15. We still celebrated his birthday and his memories. My daughter saw him last when he dropped her off at school and he told her he loved her and she to him. Cherish your discussions with him whether you get to go there or not. Those moments are precious.

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  • 1 month later...

UPDATE:

 

My brother lost his battle with cancer this past Friday (3/29) I was not there, I was hoping and praying that he would make it another week. Our oldest is getting married on 4/6 and I had planned on flying back on 4/7. So this had been very difficult for me. Per his wishes there will be no funeral services, he wanted to be cremated. He asked my nephew and brother-in-law to take him deep sea fishing one last time and dump his ashes in the Gulf. He loved to go to down to the Gulf and go fishing, he loved deep sea fishing. It will be a fitting burial for him.

 

Thanks for the prayers they have sustained us this last month.

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UPDATE:

 

My brother lost his battle with cancer this past Friday (3/29) I was not there, I was hoping and praying that he would make it another week. Our oldest is getting married on 4/6 and I had planned on flying back on 4/7. So this had been very difficult for me. Per his wishes there will be no funeral services, he wanted to be cremated. He asked my nephew and brother-in-law to take him deep sea fishing one last time and dump his ashes in the Gulf. He loved to go to down to the Gulf and go fishing, he loved deep sea fishing. It will be a fitting burial for him.

 

Thanks for the prayers they have sustained us this last month.

 

I can see you and your family making regular visits to the sea to scatter flowers and balloons in his memory!

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