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Katz25

Seeking Prayers

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Hi everyone, I'm seeking prayers today. I am fighting depression so bad, I feel it could take me over completely. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel so alone. I'm still takin care of my dad with Alzherimers (who will be 91 Wed!!), can't carry a good conversation with him anymore, he's down to 125 lbs, which is very thin. My health isn't good, just found out I was type 2 diabetic, which I'm thanking God not Type 1. But you know the problem is I just can't think about it. I'm trying to learn, but I really don't care. That's awful because I know the consequences if don't take care of yourself. But I just feel overwhelmed with life and so lonely I just don't care. I've never felt this totally down before. Dr. said you need to think of your father, what if something happened to you, I said that's all I think of 24 hrs. a day, but I just don't care. He thinks I need to take to someone. I have no objection to that, but I live in a small town and noone here and I can't drive out of town with working and my dad. I don't know, I just can't seem to feel happy anymore, I don't even remember what that feels like, to laugh and feel truly happy. What's wrong with me, I have so much, I feel guilty for feeling like this. Will you please just pray for me to....I don't even know what to ask for...just please pray. Thank you.

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:pray:

 

Can you get some in home care for your Dad? Just a few hours a few days a week? You need a break. You need to go watch a movie or soak in a hot bubble bath reading a mindless novel and not worry about anything. In the meantime, I'll be praying for you and hoping that you find some way to get some balance back into your life. :pray:

 

(((Denise)))

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Yeah....you need a break, time to talk with people who are not about the care of your dad....and you are reporting the symptoms of depression. But you likely know that.

 

It's better to have face to face talks and friends in your real life but if that's not feasible, we are real people too. And we care. We'll listen as much as you wish to talk. You can take the discussion down to the less public women's forum or here is fine too. But yes, you need people right now who can care about you ....cuz you sound like you've drained all the caring for others you have in you. No surprise there with your current responsibilities. It's your life right now but, you are merely human. A compassionate, and caring daughter, but you have limits. Most especially you have limits when you have your own health crisis now. And you know that too.

 

We will commit to listening and caring. If you can get someone locally to do that same, it would be good. If you can get a break, that would be realllllly good! And if none of that helps, you might have to resort to some mild medication to lift you up for a while. Till you can get your 'happy' back. Sometimes the stress warps out your chemical balance.

 

 

MtRider -- Praying for you! (((((Katz))))))

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I am with these ladies too on this, Mt Rider gave excellent advice. Sounds like you have little support there for you and we can do that here in pssssst if you want. One thing I want you to do is work on a better balance in your diet to control your blood sugar. Usually that means consuming protein when you eat anything starchy and really limiting the carbs probably compared to what you may actually be eating.

You need to get some walking in and such too, but I can see you need someone to do caretaking part time at least.

Do things in small bits, you sound pretty overwhelmed just now and shouldn't expect to be up to snuff until you can get that balance back more. Do not beat yourself up over this!

We are here for you.

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Spent 26 years caring for my first husband who suffered from a brain tumor & the last 3 years of his life we both suffered from his dimentia etc. I had absolutely nobody to come in & help...I mean nobody! Not even my 2 kids would give up an hour of their time to come get their dad and take him for a car ride...why? Because he also had irritible bowel etc., and messed his pants etc. Eventually he had to have a colostomy which made a huge difference in my world. I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE AT dear! There just aren't any people who are willing to stop their lives to help, unless you can pay them....ie...a nurse aide or ??? I finally found a home health agency that sent aides out to help people clean their homes, cook a meal or other home-related tasks. They charged me a minimal amount and it was worth every dime, believe me. Find someone to come for a few hours, find you a motel room, take your bubble bath and a good book and let only the aide know where you're at! Yes, it seems like alot of money to spend on a motel room for only a few hours, but IT IS WORTH EVERY DIME! I also had a bout with depression recently, and found out it was part of my thyroid not functioning. Once I was put on a simple medication, after about 4 weeks, the "fog" began to lift. Just sharing.....

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I'm so sorry you are going through this but you are not alone! It sounds like you may need some professional help. I know a lot of people are against taking any kind of drugs but sometimes they are needed and will help. They don't have to be a long time event. Just to get you through this rough time. A regular doctor can help you a lot. I agree with everything Mt. Rider said. Why not start a thread down in the women's section. It isn't to keep the men out! It's just to keep it from being so public and it's for members only. Also some people will feel more free to talk down there. If you ask, a mod can move this down there...but only if you want to though.

 

We all care about you :hug3: and know you have many prayers coming your way! :pray:

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Praying!

 

Are you taking an anti-depressant? There are many lifestyle things you can do to combat depression but it sounds like, right now, you are not able to make yourself do those things. You probably need some help from an anti-depressant, at least for awhile. I come from a long line of depression: great-grandpa, grandma, father and mother, me, then one of my daughters.

 

Serotonin is the thing your brain uses to make you feel happy and un-depressed. Our brains make it but when we are in very stressful situations that are long-term (like your situation with your father), our brains can "run out" and not have enough. Some people, like my grandma, my mom and my DD need to take anti-depressants all the time. I was fortunate that when my stressful situation abated, I was able to get off the meds.

 

There are specific things you can do to increase serotonin levels in your brain such as exercise in sunlight, eating foods with lots of tryptophan, being very regular in your habits i. e. going to bed, getting up, exercising, and eating at the same time every day. Eating an especially nutritious diet such as lots of fresh vegetables, fruits, whole grains, nuts and seeds, drinking at least 64 ozs of pure water every day, etc.

 

BUT..If I were you, I would see a doctor and see if he/she will put you on a mild anti-depressant like Lexapro. This one has the fewest side effect for most people. It can help you while you are dealing with the stress and while you are learning a better lifestyle.

 

Search for Dr. Neil Nedley on google and you will find his website and some youtube videos that are really helpful.

 

Blessings to you.

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Adding my prayers. I just posted a reply to your question about prepping and Diabetes. Depression can be a result of uncontrolled blood sugar as well as the overwhelming aspect of having to deal with a new and alarming diagnosis.

 

Apply one new step a day, one choice a day, to get that sugar under control. It will affect every partofyour well being.

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Check your PM (private messages - find the envelope top right).

 

And I would be happy to move this to a more private forum if you so choose. Just let me know. :hug3:

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You are asking for help ------------just keep asking for it until you get what you need. Depression takes such a toll on your life, and the lives of those around you.

Indeed, we will be praying, but don't stay "under siege", (borrowing Stephanie's words). You need to make a move, God will direct your path.

Hugs.

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I too am praying for you .I agree wifh the wonderful advice hou have been given. I would add to pieces of advice that may seem silly. First make sime time for yourself even if you have to start small with 5 minutes a day. Along with this make a positive journal where you write down god thoughts, memories or things you are greatful for. It could be as simple as you hair went right today or somene smiled at you or even that your dad slept throughthe night and so did you. (We have had family members with akzheimers and I work long term care. I know there are sometimes half way through my shift I am ready to pull my hair out. Your shift doesn't end which makes taking the chance to have 5 minutes to yourself even more important.) I have told my daughter who deals with chdonic health issuse for herself, husband and hildren the same thing. If you can not or will not take time to take care of yourself you will not be there for the ones whom you care for when they need you. The other advice is even sillier... You have probably heard the phrase "fake it till you can make it" There is alot of truth to that.Even whenyou don't feel like it or feel yiu have the time get uo dressed , put a smile in your face and go thruogh the motions of every thing you need tio do. develop a routine and try to put on a happy face. You still need to take cae of the diabefds and get the help you need including possibly medication, but going through the motions of taking care of yourself, eating right, exercise , and all those routines will have a positive effect. look into respite care for your dad. Even a day program will help you to have time for yourself.

As I said my advice seems silky but sometimes if you foorce yourself to focus on the positive the negative doean't seem so bad. Medication for depression may be necessary even to let you gef to the point of being able to do this.Remember, medication may only be needed to equipt you to get over rough spots. I will keep praying foe you and your dad and that you get the local support that you need

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:wave: Just thought I'd check in and see how you're doing. I also wanted to check in and see how you're managing your diabetes. If you have time, you might want to do a search on reversing type II diabetes through diet. It can be done!

Take care of yourself and check in from time to time. (((Big Hugs)))

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Denise, when I became diabetic 8 years ago, I went through the same sort of depression. My doctor said that you go through a lot of physical and chemical changes when you are diabetic. I got on some medication and it has been life changing. Please, don't keep suffering like this. Go and see about getting an antidepressant medication. The new ones out do not make you all foggy feeling or out of it. It just made me feel normal and happy again. Takes a little while to be on it to start working, so give it a chance. I take Lexapro. That is the only feeling I have from, no bad side affects. I just feel normal again.

 

I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. You need to take care of yourself. You don't want to wind up on insulin if you don't have to. You don't want any physical issues to come up at all if you can avoid it.

Just call tomorrow and get yourself in to see your doctor asap.

 

Hugs,

Violet

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