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Not sure if this is the area to post this or not. If not, let me know and delete it.

I’ve gotten myself into a little situation I'm not quite sure how to handle.

 

There is a friend of mine who is interested in canning. (I went over to her house last year and helped her make some strawberry preserves and some soda jellies.) She’s somewhat computer challenged so I looked up some stuff on line for her. Found that a water bath canner could be purchased for about $20. When I saw her last weekend, I offered to go ahead and order the canner for her and she could repay me. She said she would really appreciate it. Then I talked to her about canning some peaches together in August.

 

Now here’s the problem. When she went off to the ladies room, I wandered over to where our husbands were and mine was telling hers what all I had put up so far this year. Her husband says “Yeah, P wants one of those canners, but I just don’t see the point of spending the money on it. We don’t have a place to store it. Besides, why go to all that trouble when you can just buy the stuff already made? It's a waste of money.” Mine tried telling him how much better it was than the store bought stuff, but he wasn't convinced. I know he controls the money in their household, so I’m thinking…uh-oh, what do I do now?

 

I told my husband the conversation I just had with P once we were alone and he said to just forget it and not saying anything more about it. That it would likely be forgotten. I don’t want to cause problems for this couple, but I hate that I said I would do this for her.

 

Any suggestions on how I should handle this? Should I just take DH advise and let it slide?

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Ask her if she's serious about wanting the canner. If she says yes, order it. When it comes in, let her know you have it & let her know she can give you the $ for it. If she "changes her mind" or if she goes too long without paying, return it. But don't give it to her until you have the money, unless you plan on doing it as a gift. She might get an allowance & if so, she can spend it on what she wants. Or it may come out of her grocery budget, etc. :)

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"I was on *AMazon. I wanted to know if you still wanted me to order the canner for you? It's going to be such & such & will be here on *Aug 23rd. Will you have the money then for it? Or should I hold off?"

 

If she says hold off, YOU say "OK, just let me know when you're ready & I'll order it." That way YOU aren't obligated to order it anytime down the road until she's ready. If she truly can't get it, your hide is OK :)

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"I was on *AMazon. I wanted to know if you still wanted me to order the canner for you? It's going to be such & such & will be here on *Aug 23rd. Will you have the money then for it? Or should I hold off?"

 

If she says hold off, YOU say "OK, just let me know when you're ready & I'll order it." That way YOU aren't obligated to order it anytime down the road until she's ready. If she truly can't get it, your hide is OK :)

 

This is very nice. Because you can provide exact amount of money and/or shipping and date when it'll be here, it doesn't make you sound weird for asking again with the specific info and it leaves you out of their discussion but also gives her an out if there is a problem.

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"I was on *AMazon. I wanted to know if you still wanted me to order the canner for you? It's going to be such & such & will be here on *Aug 23rd. Will you have the money then for it? Or should I hold off?"

 

If she says hold off, YOU say "OK, just let me know when you're ready & I'll order it." That way YOU aren't obligated to order it anytime down the road until she's ready. If she truly can't get it, your hide is OK :)

 

:thumbs:

 

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If an old gal can add 2 cents worth. DON'T order the canner for her. If she is actually interested, SHE will bring the subject up again. So far, all I can see is your interest and helpfulness pushing her. If her home situation is as it is, step back. She needs to settle the problem between herself and hubby first.

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Hello Dogmom4,

 

It been a rocky, bumpy road for me the past year. I have hubby at home, but he is a stroke survivor and I have little time to surf through my favorite sites. Wishing everyone a bountiful harvest.

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Sorry about your hubby, Skagitgal! Prayers for you both.

I have decided it is just best to let sleeping dogs lie. Skagitgal is correct...if she wants it bad enough, she will mention it to me, then I will proceed from there. I really do appreciate the input. Sometimes it helps to be able to talk things like this out before making a decision.

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