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I've been going through some "STUFF". I could use some friends helping me out by asking our Father to help me.


My own family is doing OK, but it's the my old family junk rearing it's nasty head again.


Let's all lift our country (s), our families, and our friends up to the Lord in prayer....





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Cat, you are definitely in my prayers, you have been there for me in some of my deepest, most bewildered and terrified moments in my past here.

Honestly, when it comes to this stuff, I flat got told, when it comes to my dad, to "JUST WRITE THAT LETTER and put him in his real place basically, confront him." Well I just couldn't , so to speak, out of that drilled into me 'respect your elders' even if he continues to this day, well barely lightening up nd he's in his 80's now.... he has been far more offensive in how he deals with family members nad such than I ever was, even if I am pretty straightforward about truths ( that we understand here at least!) .... and he bloody well taught me to research stuff and learn the truth of things. but when it comes to personal stuff and how people interact on a more individual level often there are dysfunctional and cruel things, assumptions and such.... and I know from talking to you that you are one heck of a gal, I would love to be your neighbor, so dont let those old ghosts mess up your heart and mind.

My answer , ok < I cant write 'that letter'......... but I can write a book and most of it, Im showing my dad, who does arrive on the scene...... and does need my help.... and I can provide it. I dont begrudge that at all, he is my father and he needed a safe good place to be..... in a grand emergency...... but hell he cant even give me credit for this phenomenal house I built..... and yes I worked on it , designed it came up with special custom stuff to assist disable ambulatory needs and made it freaking awesome because I won the darn big Powerball..... and it becomes a prepped place, from start to finish..... ok so i make up an an awesome male character its crosses several genres...... as my friend, fiance, husband that its like well if could have all that he is in a man, stuff that all women drool over maybe, gotta please the readers you know but it also is good reading for guys... brad thor eat your heart out....... Ive got 900 pages plus before major editing but the whole story is kicking and the thing is , hey dad, recognize 'I' did this.. I accomplished this, just once... in my life...... it's litterally in his face ...... my awesome husband , special forces army colonel of militia, farmer of heirloom crops, West Point after enlisted special forces, raised fine daughter , not without challenges they have to work out in their earlier days ..... first wife ultra rotten to them both, abusive in vindictive but he take care of her to end but she does a real number on them both... loyal friends help , his family has a farm through ten generations, Scots American traditions they keep through ten generations and successful farm in our region and its funny how we meet.... especially in my hard circumstances and yet its Gods plan....... and timing had to be just so to deal with major crisis...... and in this crisis, and yes we get warnings......this whole story has evolved the relationships, not without adjustments suddenly and many challenges thaat keep on coming.... how we handle it now matters..... yes it helped to win that December Powerball. Who me?

Recognizing , simply God has His timetable and if we simply remember that...... sometimes this old BS the junk dumped on our precious gentle new souls when we were younger were ultimate lies and we can still shine as we are now. and that is simply being true to ourselves and those who take time now to see who we really are and what our intent is is what matters not that old BS.... it wasn't true and it is not from God. We may now be afraid to simply be who we are because of whatever this old damage done to us is, but no, we just need to be true to ourselves, we probably were not wrong in the first place. Ends up we symbolically become a model of local ways to help maintain decent survival during major wiped out America and how to help local grow your own stuff and are a haven and support to many , and yes, setting up special security helps the whole area and i specialized for militia needs as well things happen with our current administration and now that I thought of that, I would not put it past it to do just that if we found ourselves in such circumstances, but at almost end of book set up for sequels to follow generations of family in book..... as they rebuild this country..... I got Dad taking pictures when President Trump and President Putin of Russia show up with only notice from the past afternoon...... um, Putin wanted to talk to me specifically... ( this is after a very bad dy with two serious security issues inside the main house..... ) Who me????? im seriously winging a patched through to old landline party phone system ...... jaw drops to the floor...... anyway, they have to show up the next day at 100 acre farm ....... allrighty, serious pomp and ceremony way past levels even this Colonel hubby had to deal with and while I may be a patriot, I dont feel at all comfy in political things...... and actually Putin makes more since to me and he wants to go back to tradiitonal Russian values not communism.. but he respects folks who stand up for sensible things and yes he really is fed up with Obamas behaviors....... not general Americans who believe in their country ... and Im having to wing phone convo........ jaw is still on floor..... hey it was my daughter in law who spoke to congress once not ME>...... s o Im winging this convo nad he has special request........ cant get any clues or tips from my Colonel husband...... um......... he wants me to sponsor a family who is related to 3 Russian soldiers who defect after their unit completely wrongly attacks interior of US after many devestating attacks...... Putin wanted only 'observe and report' routine..... he was torqued and our young russians fled the fiasco their division created... the real enemy was other major entities who had wiped out all major cities, coasts and infrastructure, ..... anyway... he and Trump show up with their surprise for the three russian soldier defectors we are finding very sophisticated hardworking farmers who help us with the haying immediately as they get settled with us... the colonel takes mercy on them ad has to handle this properly ........ well Putin does get notified and hes ticked at their commanding officers and such for what they did .... is he turning over a new leaf? well he brings their family over to live here and become citizens we have to do pomp and ceremony for it all when the arrive........ my dads in his 80s. He once filmed JFK's speech for KEYT TV news in the 60's I was four, I went with mom to watch that speech, two weeks before JFK was assasinated. I grew up with current events....... dinner table convos... from the age of 3.

so, culminating things for my dads own rather prolific careers he gets to do photos of Trump and Putin and formal discharges and delivering family members, while the night before Putin is talking to me on the patched through phone call , and he knows all kinds of things about me , my family...... my husband who did tow dets in Russia in CIA days after Army special forces.... ummmmmmmm yikes and I used to pack life rafts and chutes for P3 planes who patroled North Atlantic out of Iceland when he was doing early days at KGB...... talk about flying by the seat of my pants...... you should see the dialogue on that phone call. Trump is sitting back listening so is the Colonel hubby...... ( who also has an incredible artists side to him. He just wanted to do organic farming for heirloom seed production, raise good horses , and not ever have to fight again but I make up this ARkansas Governor who was an old prankster friend army special forces buddy. which is where we go to do this 100-600 acre farm.... oh, and throw in some of the more classic country artists doing post crisis musical tour ......... and a bunch of my family who all make it to the farm for safety...... talkkbout family dynamics........

the colonel was shy about admitting he had made colonel, but was my original realtor and has to take care of vindictive nutty goes bonkers ex landlady who is still full of beans and has the hots for him cause hes single and leases the office in that building and shes nosy etc .... sick woman ..... but hes like, um, lets just keep it professional when it comes to her. but she has it in for me and when I go to find out about house to buy to help my one friend because I won the lottery , here in this area as her and her boyfriends housing also stinks .... shes nosy , you should see those businesses ad the layout in the first floor, well he has to fend her off...... shes quite blatant and IM trying to just do regular realty business and we just realized we were both veterans....... so it gets going .... the whole story...... anyway there really is some very profound stuff but at this point, currently being written, my father is getting another lifetime type of chance and its because I set up a deal to help both American relations now vital ...... with Russia who has Putin and he definitely is no globalist and well , he's matured This is of course fiction....... but i deal with all the family garbage, that old business ......... and I manage very well despite how hard it is to talk it out....... there are other ways........ and my brothers and my son and my new husband all recognize my ideas especially manifested were what really work and its good works..... so they are all waiting for my dad to cough up " I'm sorry." ... he still can't say it til this day. I doubt he will ever say it.

I have stagnated , if i had the means, at least the things I would do in this story, I would do alone anyway if I had a year now to do it all in in preparation.. I dont think we have a year.

If I had the team work I created in characters in the book, wow... it would be quite the place. and one heck of a family group to meet the challenges ahead..... all it took was supportive behavior.... between members. not assumptions and unkindnesses.

toss in a few skill sets.... however.

Patient listening and supportive feedback. ( You know how to do that, CAT.) I admire you greatly... so keep your chin up , you are Allright.



We simply have to recognize we usually do the very best we can and others have their agendas, which are usually selfishly based , or sick...... and we need to keep reminding ourselves we really are the ok one here.

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God has been whispering to me, but I was afraid, not sure if it was Him or the evil one.


Thank God for solid, good, Christian friends who can speak the same words so that now I know Who it comes from.


Doesn't make the "stuff" any easier, but I'm going to get through it all.... :pray:


God's got this, too.


And me. He's really got me. :pray::wub:


Thank you, all of you. And you are in my continued prayers, too. :pray:

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Praying. :pray:

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