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The amount of glucose tablets would have a greater volume (and volume is serious for me since the GI surgery)  than the fruit snacks I use to immediately boost my sugar when it dips too low.    My sugar will actually jump about 40 points for every pack of fruit snacks I eat within a 5m time frame.  I have a great nutritionist and we've worked out the best way to boost my sugar when it falls, but keeping it from falling is an issue.  This pregnancy is really messing with my hormones and endocrine system.  The carby meal usually comes later after I've stabilized it for the immediate time and mostly just since I've been pregnant and I do not use meals as a solution for extremely low blood sugar, but rather as a preventative to stop it from dropping back down again.

 

I really, really wish I could spike my glucose with too much carbs.  Then I would know what was going on and be able to fix it.  Unfortunately, this isn't dumping because I'm not getting any high spikes no matter what I eat.  

Edited by euphrasyne
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  • 1 month later...

Hey Euphrasyne, how is everything going? Was just thinking about you and the family. Did you get your oldest daughter moved into her new room? How is baby girl doing?  Hope the summer heat is treating you well and you are getting plenty of rest.  :bighug2:

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The baby is well and kicking up a storm.  We've been busy schooling and now that the kids are out for the summer, we drove them to their dad's house in MS.  We made a 2200 mile loop through 7 states in 4 days so we are tired.  I'm trying to keep the garden up and rest a lot before the baby comes in Sept.  We are also looking at the fact that VA schools have already said point blank that they will be doing some form of distance or hybrid distance/in person 2 days a week or alternate week learning next school year.  It is a lot of preparation needed for the older kids and the coming child in September.  

 

The oldest loves her new room.  She painted it and the nursery mostly herself.  She is quite excited because it is slightly larger (closet is tiny though) and has a queen bed.  

Edited by euphrasyne
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  • 1 month later...

MY DD17 was born about 8 weeks early and has congenital hearing loss.  I had her at a hospital in MS with only strange nurses and the on call dr. from my group there.  She was in the NICU 2.5 weeks afterwards.  It was an incredibly traumatic experience and I still have nightmares about it.  DD12 was born at the same hospital and I had to have an emergency C for a prolapsed cord. The nursing staff was wonderful that time, but I had issues with my doctor and it was not a positive experience.  The OB for both was an impatient middle aged woman who just wanted to get on with things.  

 

I've also had 6 miscarriages so this is my 9th pregnancy.  I am not a good candidate for a VBAC, so we are having a planned C with this baby because uterine rupture is a real concern.   I'm 41 and have several other health issues that also impact this 'geriatric pregnancy.'  I am frustrated, mad, and terrified as I get closer to the end.  I love and trust my current OB.  He is a patient older man who seems to know the ropes and keep up with changes.   

 

Why I'm frustrated and want to cut off ties with people while considering having my child in my bathtub and calling an ambulance to fix hemorrhaging even though I know I will most likely die of uterine rupture if I do that:

 

All the local hospitals have a 1 visitor only policy who must past a screening and temperature check.  If he has traveled or been near anyone who could have it, or has sinus issues that day...I will have to give birth alone...again.  Yes giving birth alone is doable. NO, it is NOT a positive experience and it will haunt me for DECADES as I know from experience.  

 

There are no hospital tours except for a virtual clip of a nurse walking down a hallway.   Even though it is a virtual clip, it is only available once a month for 45 minutes during Tuesday dinner.   I am agoraphobic and new places scare me.  I've been able to go in and look at where things were going to happen for every other major surgery I've ever had.   They may have to tie me down for this one when my 'new place anxiety' kicks in.  

 

There are ZERO childbirth or breastfeeding classes.  They do offer 1 virtual childbirth 'class' and 1 virtual breastfeeding 'class.'  Its basically a youtube clip that I have to pay for and it cost the same as attending one in person did before.  I can watch youtube videos for free and they are not helpful at addressing my specific concerns.  My youngest is currently 12.  A lot of things have changed in the last decade and my memory isn't as good as it used to be.  I have no access to the current protocols other than google.

 

If they tell me they even suspect covid, they can take away my infant for two weeks.  I would not be able to see her, breastfeed, or anything else.  We are leaving immediately AMA with baby if that happens.  This is the same hospital where they wanted to put Littlesister's husband on a COVID ward when he had heart issues and no COVID symptoms.   I was unable to breastfeed DD17 because of what was done after her birth.  It was a very bad experience and pumping does NOT fix it.  

 

My husband announced that he was taking a week off for the baby because he wants to roll over as much vacation/sick leave as possible so he can goof off in later years.  He has 8 or 10 weeks vacation and 6 months saved sick leave.  I put my foot down and told him 2 weeks min or I'd make his life a living hell for years.

 

Most of the current advice revolves around having a 'birth plan.'  Birth plans are just plain stupid.  They are some fantasy wish list of all the comfort things you want in a perfect world and do not reflect what really happens.  They leave no room to prepare for actual emergencies or real situations and whoever came up with them is the preggo equivalent of 'bridezilla.'  My 'birth plan' is to have this baby in the safest way possible for me and her.  I'm as educated as I can be on my options and we will roll with them situation changes.    People need to stop telling me that writing down a list of demands about being hot/cold, getting shots, etc will make everything better.  

 

DD17 (hearing impaired, special needs), and DD12 (gifted classes) start school about 2 weeks before the baby comes.  I'm 99% certain they will be doing online school or going 2x per week and I will have to drive them if they do go.  Either way, that is a lot of physical and mental work  right when the baby comes.  

 

MIL had a hissy fit to DH about why we don't talk to her or tell her things.  I think she expects to be a part of this child's life while treating me and my other kids like crap.  That is not going to happen and DH is stuck in the middle of it. 

 

Everyone keeps telling me how I am designed to have babies and everything is fine and will be fine.  That is a huge lie, and given my history, hilarious.  The current lack of maternity education, support, and care is real.  It is a bad experience and no amount of platitudes are going to make reality warp into something different.  The fact that I can get through something doesn't make it 1) good 2) right 3) negligible.

 

I'm really glad that people know doulas and like them.  I think that is great.  I cannot have one at my hospital because i can only have 1 person and I'd rather have my husband there, I cannot afford one, and I'm having a planned C because of health issues.   Paying a stranger thousands to say nice things to me over the phone is NOT going to happen and would be the cause of more anxiety not less.

 

I am 62 days out from D-Day.  DD17 was born two weeks farther along than I am today, so I'm planning for 'any day from basically now till then.'  This COVID mess has brought out the absolute worst in people.  They are nasty, smug, self-righteous,  and downright hateful about what everyone else is allowed and not allowed to do.  I did not want to leave my house before it started and I certainly do not want to leave it and deal with them now that they are super insane.

 

Having this baby in the middle of my living room is starting to sound like a sane option.  

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euphrasyne,  I know what you must be going through is tough.   And the hospital where you are going is not what it used to be. It was once one of the friendliest hospitals and now they just don't seem to care about anything but a pay check.  There are where we were at least some good nurses.  I don't like that now we have a hospitalist instead of seeing our doctors. But that could be because that is Sentara and our family doctor is Bons Secor.  I hope and pray that all goes well for you when the time comes to have this baby.  I will be different because of C-19. But at least your DH can be there.  If I wasn't having to take care of DH on a 24 hour bases I would be happy to come and help take your kids to school if you needed. But not able to leave him alone at this point and getting ready to start Heart rehab in a couple of weeks. I do know that while watching everything going on with this C-19 and how the schools can't seem to get it together on how to handle things, I would rather have the virtual learning all 5 days and then see what happens come January as to what they are doing and how the kids in school the first half are doing before sending them to school. Don't know if you have that option or not. It has been 18 years since I had to deal with schools and now this has made things so much more difficult.  

Sorry you MIL is like she is with your children.  It doesn't matter rather they are your DH's children or not. She needs to get a life and understand that those children are also the responability of your now DH as well. She should be excepting them as her own and treat them like they are at least.  This is my second marriage though My DH's parents had passed away before I met him, my daughter was at that time 11 years old and his daughter was 14 years of age.  We treated these kids like they were both ours and treated them the same. That is how your MIL should be doing.  So sorry you have a MIL like that. I know of others that have gone through that as well. 

Praying that all will work out for you and yours and things will go really well  with the birth of this child. 

Hang in there. I am sure with the Lord's help and lots of prayers things will work itself out for the best to come.

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I deeply share your feelings for portions of this, and understand why you would be so upset about other parts.  One of my second ex husband's strongest memories of DS2's birth is me lunging for the OB's throat, and the nurse holding me down.

Have you had this conversation with your patient, older OB?  A Facebook "friend" who has a deep loathing for hospitals arranged to give birth in a nice motel across the street from a hospital last year.  She was possibly closer to the emergency room than the front door of the hospital was.  (She also furnished all her own linens, because she has no trust in motel cleanliness.)   There are probably medical offices as well-equipped as the hospital to handle your birthing. Is there a "birthing cottage" within reach that your insurance would cover?

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Wow, Euphrasyne!  Have been and will continue praying for you and baby and family.  I will pray specifically for good, kind staff for the birthing.  It's what I worry about [like yesterday!] .....meeting new medical staff and always wondering if they will be great, or adequate, or NOT adequate.....or nasty.  Have had them all.  You are justified in being concerned about all that.  And YES, your dh needs to be there for as much as he can; as much as you need!!!  Babies have two parents, riiiiight?  :thumbs: 

 

But at least you know your main doc is someone you trust!  For your sake, try to focus on that part.  When you begin to dwell on the unknown parts....try to bring yourself back to:  I have a good doc and I trust him.  Easier said than done...yes, I know.  :hug3: 

 

The MIL is at least not in your household.....thankfully.  Try to ignore if she's misbehaving.  :buttercup:  Too bad she misses out on having all the kids truly as her grandkids.  Her loss but they must feel it too.  :(  My parents have 3 granddaughters and none are genetically related to any of us.  They're just fine with that ....as they should be.  Sorry yours isn't that way. 

 

You've got some time to go yet.....focus on whatever makes you calmer.  As you already know, it's good for you and baby.  We'll pray and support as we can here. 

 

MtRider  :pray:   :grouphug: 

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:pray:

 

:hug3:  Most of my birth plan went out the window.  Complicated emergency medical stuff changed it to trying to keep me and the baby alive.    I had a doula and was thankful for the support, especially after the birth.   By the grace of God, the doula was there to help me hold DD and help with breastfeeding for the first time.    I found out later that the nurses didn't even want to let us try.   The hospital was supposedly breastfeeding friendly, but they were no help the whole time I was there and they pushed formula. 

 

 UPMC hospitals in Pittsburgh are now allowing the doulas as a "second support person" for births.   If no doula, then only 1 support person is allowed.    Is your hospital allowing something like that?  

 

Do you have a good breastfeeding book?   I wish I would have taken a class because I needed to "see", but we made it work with the books.    I found the LeLeche League's The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding to be very, very helpful.   

 

I think separating the mother and baby is the stupidest thing ever.  The mother's milk is liquid gold and a gift from God.    Even if  the mother is ill with something,  mama's milk is supplying the baby with those specific antibodies.   If baby is ill with something,  mama's milk produces antibodies for that, too.    And the bonding....it's so necessary for both.

 

Praying for you and your precious baby!

 

Edited by out_of_the_ordinary
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Our hospital has an extremely clear 1 person and the mother policy and the 1 person must have zero health issues or NO  extra people at all.  It is the same at all my local hospitals.  We live in a crazy, idiotic state with a governor that needs to be recalled.  I did try to nurse DD17 but she would never latch after being given bottles by the NICU nurse (who we had a lot of issues with.)  I ended up pumping for 6 weeks until my milk finally ran out.   I did nurse DD12.  It has been over a decade though so I'm out of practice.  I do have some good books and my milk is already coming in.  

 

Uterine rupture is an STRONG probability after my last child and emergency C for prolapsed cord, so I'm having a planned Caesarian.  It will be major surgery and not a natural birth.  If I'm going to die from natural birth, it will be here at my house and not in a strange place.  I'd rather live, but I can make peace with that.  

 

The schools have announced that we are virtual only so the kids will all be home.  On the one hand, they are girls and old enough to help with the baby (17 & 12.) On the other....good luck trying to concentrate on school work with a crying baby.  

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  • 10 months later...

Chaos and Drama strike again.  

 

DD17 (18 in a week and a half) had a hissy fit over my insistence that she would go to summer school if she flunked math (probable, will know by Wednesday.)  There was a big argument with lots of yelling and she grabbed me, hit me in the arm, shoved me, tried to wrestle with me.  When I went to call my husband to come home, she took my phone from me, grabbed my wrists, and physically fought my phone away from me.   

 

I have no idea why this  happened as I have never been a physical person and this is not a usual family dynamic for us.  Long story short, she is going to go live with her father in AR.   We are trying to arrange dates and details.  I have not told her that she is going yet as I am waiting to work out the bigger details first.  My life has turned into an episode of springer.  

Edited by euphrasyne
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18 minutes ago, euphrasyne said:

I have no idea why this  happened as I have never been a physical person and this is not a usual family dynamic for us.  Long story short, she is going to go live with her father in AR.   We are trying to arrange dates and details.  I have not told her that she is going yet as I am waiting to work out the bigger details first.  My life has turned into an episode of springer.  

 

Is she jealous of the new baby?

Sounds like sending her to her father is a good idea - for YOUR health, for your mental health, and for your safety (as well as the baby's). :hidingsmile:

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I'm so sorry.  :hug3:

That behavior is totally unacceptable. Sounds like a plan sending her to her fathers. Consequences. You have to keep you and your family safe, and her too. Once she put her hands on you it is a completely higher level of disobedience. That's domestic violence on her part. She's lucky she didn't land in the back of a squad car.   

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dex told DD18 she could live with him about 10 days ago.  She has been planning and happy ever since.  Her Bday was Sunday.   Dex called me up Sunday morning and said she could not live with him for reasons.  He did not want to tell her on her birthday so i had to go around with the knowledge all day until he told her Monday night.  She is going for the summer, but coming back.  Now I have to figure out how we can live together and deal with all the rest of the issues that DD18 involves.   On top of that, it is my child who is hurting because my ex said come live with me then turned around and said no.  She has been throwing living with him in my face for a year.   It is a huge blow to her.  

 

She has one more year of high school, is hearing impaired with ADHD and an executive functioning disorder.  I'm hoping that enough of this sinks in for her to realize that we have to get along and be functional because there are no 'better options' for her out there.   

Edited by euphrasyne
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euphrasyne,  when she comes back from her dads, maybe you can workout some time to spend with just the two of you. Maybe a shopping trip or lunch together.  Maybe if she had that mom time alone with you where you can talk about good times and just have some fun together it would get her to open up as to what might be bothering her. I know that this virus has been hard on everyone, but kids that will soon be graduating high school and college also feel the pressure and wondering how their lives will turn out. They don't know what is really going on in this world. So just maybe that will help her to understand you will always be there for her no matter what happens. But you just need to get her to open up as to what caused her to act the way she did.  

You are both in my :pray:

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Sorry it turned out this way. All things considered, teen years are difficult even in the best of times. There were times I wanted to throttle mine. A lot of times actually. But now we are besties. Hang in there momma. It can get better with time. 

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  • 1 year later...

Time brings more and different perspectives. Kid19 did go to live with her dad after the summer was over.  He decided that kid could stay after all and there was some packing drama, but otherwise kid has been there and happy for a year and a half.  Kid graduated and is working in childcare.  We are having some issues and notice that I am no longer using pronouns.  Adjustments all around.  

 

My birth experience was not great.  My BP spiked to 213/99 at the OB appointment so we ended up having a C section that night because they could not get my BP down.  It was unpleasant and the Anestheologist told me to hold on to a pole or he would tie me down (i am not paraphrasing.)  I had a major panic attack.  I had to wear cloth mask while they did a C section.  My BP didn't come down for 4 days and they could not get it down.  I found out later it was because they were giving me coated pills for it.   GI surgery means coated pills go in the mouth and out the bum undigested and whole.  Well duh.   No wonder it didn't go down.  I wasn't given anything for it that my body could process.   I did not have a positive birth experience, but baby River was healthy and amazing.   I tried to nurse, but my milk never truly came in and I ended up having to go to formula after two months since she was not gaining weight.  I even tried that small pipe tube with formula nipple trick, but my milk just didn't come in.  

 

Since I gave birth, my blood sugar is great and stays around 80, A1C about 5.1.  My BP is a tad high but not so much they want me on meds right now.  If I eat certain foods like ice cream, pancakes, or orange juice I vomit and feel like I'm going to die, but that has been the same since my GI surgery back in 2016.

 

River is 2 now and doing very well.  She is on target for everything   DD14 is in gifted classes and is happy.  DD26 is in a stable relationship and looking for work.   MIL is not currently in the picture except for the occasional phone call to my DH.   My estranged father died right before Halloween.  My brother finally reached a divorce agreement with his ex (he kept the kids, both daughter and step daughter which says a lot about his ex), and has met a new wonderful woman.

 

Things are quiet right now and that scares me because I'm waiting on the next shoe to drop.   I'm thinking that the economy is about to go splat.  I think this next decade is going to be more about mental prepping than physical prepping.  I think Ambergris had a good idea when she left it all to start over.   I don't want to leave, I just want to rethink the way we do things and the processes we use.  

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Euphrasyne, try to enjoy the quiet while you can. We cannot stop what is coming.  We can only stay as prepared as possible to make it through to the other side.  There will be another side.  There usually is.  For instance, look at the quiet you are having now as the other side of the chaos you had been having.  :hug3:

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3 hours ago, euphrasyne said:

I just want to rethink the way we do things and the processes we use. 

A change in perspective is always beneficial for me!  At least that is something that I have control over and can do at will.  I believe things will be "interesting" for at least awhile.  

I think life does come at us in waves, so we can appreciate the highs and get through the lows, knowing we will rebound.  

Edited by snapshotmiki
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euphrasyne, enjoy the good times while you can. Don't worry about what is to come as that is in the Lord's hands. He has control over it. We were never promised a rose garden so these things in this world is what it is. We all will go through trials and tribulations. But we will get through them. The best part is that you got through everything, and River is doing great. You have your DD 14 helping you and from your post she is a blessing.  And you have a wonderful and supportive DH. Concentrate on the good times and try to just make the hard times as easy as possible. 

I know what hard times are as my DH was so sick and I couldn't get him the care he really needed and as a result of the hospital and doctors shutting down their offices, i couldn't even get him in hospice.  So, I know about hard times and my health has paid the price. 

 

Don't fret the hard times. We all here have had our share of problems. Some more so than others. Try to relax and enjoy family and put the bad things behind you. Keep the Lord foremost in your life as well as your family's life and you will get through the rough times much easier. 

 

As Mother said, enjoy the quiet easy times while you can and just relax with family. And when the tough times roll around again try to get a handle on it as fast as you can.

Keeping you and everyone here going through rough times in much needed prayer. 

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Well, it does come in spurts. GD in Washington state just called a few minutes ago and sad her DH was playing in snow and went down a hill on an innertube. He went straight through the fence and into the neighbor's house. They took him to ER by ambulance. He has a concussion and possible neck injury. GD doesn't know what else yet. She can't get her car out of driveway due to ice and snow and has been trying to shovel her way out. So, if they send him home, she can't go get him. But I am thinking with a concussion they might keep him overnight for observation. I am hoping that will be what they do and then she can get out tomorrow when snow has melted a bit. she is on a hill and their driveway is steep. She had been playing in it all day on a sled. So, with the steep hills they should know at their ages that something like this can happen.

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Right now you have breathing space.  Even if it does mean that you don't see the shoe that's falling, you need to enjoy the breathing space as much as you can.  When all's said and done, "right now" is all the time we really do have.  Don't waste it.

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