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Mountain Rider texted me tonight that her dad is in the hospital and very weak. She said she had posted on MrsS about it this morning, but I can't find her post. Regardless, I know she would appreciate it if y'all keep her dad and family in your prayers. She said that they are going to do an MRI to find out what's goin on, but she won't have any internet while she stays at her parents house.

 

I'll keep y'all posted as she updates me. Thanks.

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:pray:

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Dogmom, I haven't heard anything but she is probably staying at her folks house and they don't have internet.

I'm anxious to hear something too. :pray:

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Update:

 

Looking  into rehab and long term care.  Been horrible and exhausting  week.  Still with my mom....My dad varies between groggy/ not functioning and seeing bugs eating the birdseed he spilled on the floor.  Of course 90 percent of it is dementia dreams.  Some periods of hostility.  He has a "sitter" or he'll get out of bed and fall.  Talked to neurologist and social worker today... Rehab and long term care.  $$$ Awful topics but my mom cannot go on being caretaker.  She and I both have doc appt tomorrow.  Not going to see him.  Break time.  
Give my greetings on MrsS. 

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I am so sorry to hear they are having to go through this.  These decisions are often taken out of our hands by a loving Lord who knows what He is doing.  Rehab might be paid for by Medicare for a short time but long term care is terribly expensive. Perhaps there is help through the state.  I will continue to pray for them all.  :pray:

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When we moved my mom in with us, we were told that moving dementia patients causes them even more confusion and hostility. Routine is critical to keep them stable. We have been blessed that she tolerated the move very well a year ago. We are going to try some respite days from her into a new state of the art senior center in the near future. It's only 4 miles from us. We're  hopeful but won't be crushed if she refuses a break. Growing old is so hard on everyone.  

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My mom paid into a long-term care policy for 15 years through the military. You can’t even buy something like that anymore. It has paid for her care in a nice facility near us for the past five years and it’s the only way we’ve survived her dementia. The money runs out in a little over a year… At that point she’ll have to move in with us and we will have to pay for someone to help with her. There’s nothing nearby that she’ll be able to afford...and we need to be able to see her regularly because we saw how much worse her dementia got over the past year when all we could do was talk on the phone or through a window. We took care of my father-in-law (who had dementia) for 2 1/2 months last year before he passed… It was hard. Really hard.

My hope is that Mt. Rider and her family can figure something affordable out.

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THANK YOU ALL for prayers and kind words.  This afternoon, I came home for a few days.  My brother is here from D.C. but has to rent motel at a lower altitude to be able to sleep.  But...he's with my mom during the day.  So I was "ordered" to stand down and take a break.  Was it that they hadn't seen how I usually walk in the mornings???  :imoksmiley:  Pfffttt!  This is my normal!  ;) 

 

Truly, this could be a very long siege.....and as some of you have mentioned, an expensive one.  As a family, we have to use our human resources carefully.  My niece will probably come out for a week to stay with my mom too.  She's between jobs right now.  If my mom chooses to go east and live near bro/niece, this will give her a taste of that.  She really doesn't want to live in high humidity again tho, after Iowa. 

 

My brother is digging thru the paperwork.  He has to take over the bills, etc.  They have simplified it with auto-debit but....  He's found some things scrambled....half of that is on purpose.  My dad is canny....likes to divert and use subterfuge and ... :sigh:  isn't as clever now as he thinks he is.  In the past 3 years has fogged things up to some extent. 

 

LOL  DH and I were able to provide my brother with the combinations to the 2 safes.  He'd given us an envelope YEARS ago.  So Bro tries the combinations and....nope!  :lol:  I said:  Try switching combination A to safe B.....  :rolleyes:  Yep, my dad has reversed them....on purpose.  THIS is what my brother has to battle.  Lot of it is very organized/labeled/etc.  But then there are the "rabbit trails"  ...  I don't envy Bro his part in this.  :grinning-smiley-044:

 

I've been on mom duty, of course.  We have had a good time.....even in the midst of worry about my dad.  His functioning is drastically going up and down.  Blessedly normal visit on his first evening at the rehab.  'Course he was so delighted to see my brother.  But he was up, dressed, and more normal in temperament than we'd seen in a long while.  We had a good visit while he ate supper.  The next day was not as good.  The next day, he was bedridden.  Today he was half way okay...dressed and sitting in chair.  Confused.  Gotta be tough having folks come in with COVID draping and shields tho.  Suddenly they realized they need to isolate him for ....a time.  :shrug:  I waved from his doorway cuz I'd pass out from heat in all that get-up!  :faint3:  

 

I posted that we were able to give my mom...all of us....a great Mother's day tho.  :amen: 

 

So....you all who have drastically affected dementia family members........does it seem oddly remote when they take a more drastic turn after being so CHANGED for years?  It's like he stopped being someone I knew nearly 3 yrs ago.  This person....  :scratchhead:   .....do I even know him?  My brother and I have said, we began to miss him years ago.  I have to say, we don't miss the person he's been more recently.  Pretty awful....much of the time. 

 

And now the bugs and birdseed....this is NEW.  :o    He talked for 3 hrs that day....90% was "train off the track" talk.  We know some of it is "hospital disorientation"...which can be pretty bad for older folks.  My mom scared the daylights outta me in Oct [minor heart attack]  when she assumed she was at a restaurant.  RN calmed me down by explaining that's temporary.  Whew!  It was!  But.......my dad calls us crying from the hospital cuz he drove his beloved truck to Des Moines [that's Iowa, for you non-mid-westerners]  and now he's in the hospital and we have to hire a driver to bring it back to CO.  :buttercup:   And today....my mom's left him so he kept asking her why she's in our small town again....   Oye!  You look for the person you knew.....  :sigh:  Rarely do you find much indication of them....  :sigh:  

 

Pray for my brother's search for all things business and financial.  At one point my dad was super organized.....except for what he's since altered in the past 3 yrs....  :unsure:   My mom knows a little...having been trying to help my dad.....  :buttercup:  That didn't go well tho....

 

So....I'll probably be in and out at MrsS as this goes on.  I really hate to have my mom by herself overnight.  3-story house....and she keeps going out to the back of the house to spray water at the nuthatches who are pounding holes in the side of the house.  :puzzledsmile:  I want her to get a med alert necklace!  I started her on using a cane today....cuz I finally found one of my dad's that was shorter.....her size.  She's been getting wobbly but didn't like mine cuz it's a bit too tall for her.  This one, she kinda liked but you can definitely trip yourself when first learning where to place a cane!  :pray:  

 

The DOG is utterly spoiled by now.......  :lol:   DH and dog....what a pair!  She was glad to see me tho.  He'd brought her in a few days ago....so she'd know I wasn't dead.  LOL  We had to have quality ear-rub time today. 

 

So...that's how I've been spending my time.  Rough but so thankful for all the prayers.  I can see some of you have done this ....are doing this too.  :grouphug:   You all hang in there too!  Don't know how this will go but God does.  He'll take him Home at some point. 

 

MtRider  :pc_coffee:    Have I mentioned how much I prefer typing to texting??????? 

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On 5/6/2021 at 7:34 AM, Mother said:

These decisions are often taken out of our hands by a loving Lord who knows what He is doing. 

 

On 5/6/2021 at 9:03 PM, Homesteader said:

Growing old is so hard on everyone.  

 

On 5/6/2021 at 9:23 PM, dogmom4 said:

It was hard. Really hard.

 

I can relate to all of the above and the rest of what you all said.  Thanks for sharing.

 

MtRider  :pray:  For your situations too! 

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My mother got dementia, and my Grandmother & dad.   It was a nightmare.  Thanking Good daily for my brother’s wisdom and SIL’s patience with her.  God knows the stories I could tell.  
 

:sigh:

 

 

:pray::pray::pray:

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There have been times when I have to search through mama's bedroom to find the nighttime visitors .... butterflies, worms, bees, and insects crawling on the wall. I think some of it might be her meds, but she is SO SERIOUS when she gives me instructions to find the creatures.    :wave:

 

Good and bad days, Mt_Rider. I cherish the good days. I can't anticipate them, and sometimes am off by 180 degrees. Makes life seasoned with prayer.  :hug3: I helped a dear friend pack her home yesterday so she can move north. She lost her second husband and has decided to live closer to her daughter. We had a blessed time yesterday as DH made lunch and dinner at home for us (well sort of).    :24:  She gave me a wonderful site for soft music and beautiful, breathtaking pictures. It is Tim Janis on YouTube. The channel can stream for several hours without ads. It was really a treat for my mom today. :bighug2:  It gives her a break from all her soap operas she loves during the daytime and shoot-em-up programs at night. :misc-smiley-231:   If you can stream, it's worth having Tim Janis music in the background. Lots of hymns too.  :woohoo:

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Thanks for the Tim Janis suggestion! I've been wanting to find some soothing music to play in the background when I read and for relaxing. It is a nice break. I saved the Renewing Spring one. Very nice. Will save the Hymns one too. Trouble with that one, for me, is I'll start singing or humming along and break my silence. 

 

Back in the day, I'd listen to Yanni or Kenny G. Or even Vivaldi. Thunderstorms are nice too. 

 

 

I understand about seeing things. My grandma saw people. Mostly dead relatives. But not in a creepy way. They had happy reunions and went places together. Once I was visiting her and she said her husband was out back hitching up the horse so they could go to the drive-in. Drive-in in a horse and buggy! She thought the staff at the home she was in were her "wife". They cooked and cleaned for her and even did her laundry. She thought that was so lovely of them. I guess they all were her 'sister wife'.  It wasn't all fun and games though. She thought she had to baby sit a bunch of kids and they got on her nerves. She saw strange men outside her window and roosters in the house. She went blind (glaucoma) but she didn't realize it because of her...imagination. I miss her so much but I wouldn't wish her back here like that.

 

Sending strengthening prayers to everyone who is dealing with this.  :pray:

Or has had to deal with it.   :grouphug:

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