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And I just got this message from her now. Please keep her and her family in prayer:

 

My dad taken to the hospital by ambulance an hour ago.  Chest pains.  Pray for my mom to hold up under the strain. 

Meeting 
yesterday was better than that...we got a bit more time.  Thanks for praying.  Today may buy more time...or less...or God may take him Home.  

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This is my first time reading all this, but I knew about Mt. Rider's dad and have been keeping them all in prayer. I know this is very hard on all of them. I have one aunt still living that has these issues and last time I talked with my cousin she said she had become very angry, Something that happens with as it progresses.  I think the stages of dementia must change as time goes on. worst disease that could happen to anyone. 

  1. Mt. Rider you and your family are still in my prayers and I hope and pray for your mom to get through all the stress of it all. I know very well how that can be as I have let myself go for over a year neglecting things I should have been doing like taken my BP medication and stuff. I would forget to take it while taken care of Dh along with the worse thing ever forgetting to take my Synthroid for my hypothyroid. I paid for that one.  So please make sure your mom takes care of herself during these hard times.  God Bless!  :pray: :hug3: :pray:
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Another update :)

 

Getting blood transfusion.  Heart pain ended.  He had reaction to a med earlier that destroyed white blood cell count. Very rare side affect to med that was really beneficial... so unfortunate!🙁


Any connection to heart pain this morning??? I don't know.  Heart pain gone after arriving at ER.  ... the saga continues.  My mom needs more sleep!  

I'm sleeping well but pushing stamina.  New exercise program..stair climbing.  😵. But 🙌 riding twice per week. Is very GOOD.  🐎

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Bro and Niece arrived today from VA.  Niece will be staying with my mom for about 5 days.  I packed all my assorted things from being with my mom for 2 wks.  We had a good time, actually.  We get on very well.  We four went out to eat tonite and catch up on things.  Nice to see my niece again.  Bro is still looking into business aspect of this transition.  :buttercup:   Don't envy him the job of sorting out the mess dementia has made of their finance/bills/etc. 

 

DH, my mom and I made the short trip to the office of the electric company a couple days ago.  :o  We'd discovered they were 3 months overdue on payments.  Ooops!  But all is now fine tho their electric was days from being shut off!  Whew!  :pray:  Praying Bro can find any more of THAT type of problem!  He's up to his neck in his own job back in D.C. right now too but has to clear things up quickly here as well.  :pray:  There are some definite time limits involved.

 

We also need to figure out if it's going to work for my mom to now live alone.  The "life alert" device should arrive soon.  We'll have to test it....we are surrounded by granite mountains.  :shrug:  But cell phones work in her town so....??  But I am worried if she will pay attention to her own needs now.  She can ....but is pretty worn out.  She sleeps badly so many nights. 

 

Also, I had a first-hand look at one of her 'spells'.  Non-specific way to describe how she feels when her congestive heart failure is doing 'bad things' with her heart beats.  I'd heard for several years how she gets up in morning and feels terrible.  My dad would help her get back UP STAIRS :unsure:   to bed for a couple hours.  Then she feels normal. 

 

Whoa.....she came down that morning and she looked like she'd aged several years over-night!  :o   She ate and I helped her back to bed.  Sooooo....I'll be discussing a switch in the most comfortable mattresses.  So she can go back to bed in  the bed on the main floor....without trying to go up the stairs in that weak condition! 

 

The stair climbing has actually been good for me these past weeks.  LOL   With horse riding 2 days a week now.  My stamina/muscles have had weeks to strengthen, the stairs have been another aspect of physical therapy - workout! :woohoo: I'm in MUCH better condition than I was 2 months ago....which had been making me very concerned and frustrated!  Can't even walk the dog if it damaged my R hip by walking wrong.  But with riding, I'm walking right more than walking wrong now.  Hip is feeling dramatically BETTER!    :amen:   :bounce:   :happy0203:   It's been fun riding and this progress is exciting.....tho very strenuous initially!!!!!  :0327:  God's timing with weeks of Stair-Climbing..... :lol:   Kinda funny, I think.  :rolleyes:  

 

Going to bed now.  Just wanted to drop in and all you faithful friends an update.   :grouphug: Pray for Bro to find data and make best choices for my folks. 

 

Now I have to catch up reading here............  

 

MtRider  .....ack!  The "t" key is sticking... ? ... not cooperating on my keyboard....  :shrug: 

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It's so good to hear from you. I'm happy your health and stamina is improving too! 

How is your dad adjusting to his new surroundings?

Continued prayers for your family coming your way.  :pray:

 

:bighug2:

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1 hour ago, Jeepers said:

How is your dad adjusting to his new surroundings?

 

Hmm...Welllll....  :scratchhead:   His new surroundings keep changing. 

 

First it was 14 days quarantine in his room....meaning that anyone coming inside has to do COVID protocols.  He had come from the hospital, of course and senior care homes are taking extreme precautions.  Good!  We were allowed to visit him...an exception due to his initial transition period.  BUT family or staff going into that room had to dress in disposable gowns, glove, face shield and mask.  Then do all the protocols coming back out of room.  HOT in those moon suits!!!!  :knary:

 

Then when he was finally free....he got to see the "living room" area and the dining area which are both right outside his door.  He seemed a little happier.  Got to meet some of the other residents.  

 

THEN he went to the hospital again for the blood transfusion/heart pains. [2 separate issues]  Sooooo.... :(  now he's back on 14 days quarantine again.  My brother was NOT happy about dressing in moon suits again.  

 

ADD TO ALL THAT......his "surroundings" are changing constantly.  He "visits" our home state of Iowa and other Colorado towns.  His room becomes a "way station" where strangers sleep in his bed and get it dirty and leave in the morning.  He has conversations [enjoyable or infuriating] with an assortment of people in his room all day long.  :sigh:    Hallucinations began during first hospital stay a month ago.  He sometimes is happy to tell us all his "news".  We let him talk.  Other times the hallucination frighten or anger him.  :(  We label those hallucinations and try to calm him; assure him that he's safe. 

 

We haven't been told if the doc will be trying a new "dementia med" .....now that the blood transfusion has stabilized his whacked-out blood counts.  :shrug:  Doc comes on Tuesdays so.... ??? 

 

MtRider   :pray:  Please do pray for a med that works like the first one but without the dangerous side affects.  

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Still praying for your euntire family, Mt Rider...yes, you, too.  That God willo grant everyone the peace which passeth all understanding as you all explore your new options.  That love for one another will always trump frustration, fear, aggravation, and exhaustion.  That your father will be granted the grace of peace with his new way of life and new way of understanding what is going on.  That his guardian angel will continue to guide him and protect him from the things that frighten him, whether he knows it or not.  Who knows, perhaps one of the people he talks to IS his guardian angel.  Children have been known to see and talk to theirs, why not?  

But most of all I pray that you will find your footing in this new situation.  Asking blessing to come your way.

'

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Mt. Rider, it is good to see you on here and reporting so we can know how things are going.  I know it must be rough on your dad with his surroundings changing like that. It doesn't help if he can't keep the same routine as much as possible. Hoping and praying that situation gets better and that they find a medication he can take without all the side effects. 

Glad to here you are getting stronger. Going up and down steps will build muscle and also with the horseback riding, it will make you much stronger.  Praying for your family to get through all of the changes taken place and special prayers for your mom also.  Praying for your brother to be able to get all the bills and paperwork figured out and can make that burden much easier for your mom as well. 

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I am delighted and encouraged by your comments.  :grouphug:   THANK YOU ALL!!!!   And today has been.......  whew, how can I describe it?  

 

DH and I went into 'town' for my 1pm horse ride.  As we passed by my dad's care home, I said: Whoa!  The fire department truck is there!  I HOPE IT'S NOT HIM!  [meaning my dad]   :unsure: 

 

 

Went on to my ride.  That was fun.  I was the only rider today and the wrangler is a young gal who is a lot of fun to talk to.  Half way thru the ride....we're at the far end of the territory.....clouds let loose with pouring-down COLD rain.  I was so very glad I'd chosen to bring a lined raincoat with hood.  Poor wrangler forgot her jacket .  When we neared the barn area, I told her to take us straight back.  We'd ridden enough for me to get the therapeutic affect.  Didn't need the full hour and .....IT'S COLD RAIN!  She readily agreed to this.  :lol: 

 

Got to my mom's house.  I changed clothes and warmed up.  Bro and niece were there with my mom.  They'd taken her out and about this morning and then they visited my dad at the care home.  :o   Because of his recent overnight stay at the hospital [blood transfusion]  he's back on in-room quarantine.  All visitors must be COVID-dressed:  gown/mask/gloves/face shield.  My mom overheated just as they were going to leave and all-but passed out.  Bro caught her and steadied her on his knee till niece went out to call for help and drag in a chair for her.  Bro told me later that she looked like she'd aged a year in those moments.  ................JUST like I'd warned him yesterday...when I saw her that morning last week when she was having one of her heart "spells".  Good he saw it....being so removed except infrequent visits out here....it's quite different when you SEE IT!  We must deal with her reality in these "spells". 

 

DH figured out:  OH, YOU WERE WHY THE FIRE DEPT WAS THERE when we drove by!  :faint3:  Course my dad was GREATLY distressed and crying.  Staff DID call in 911 so a whole lotta care home staff and rescue/paramedics all came trooping into my dad's room.  NOT ONE followed the COVID protocols with "moon suits" or even masks.  My mom's BP was SEVERELY LOW until they got her calm and cooled down with wet towels.  She flatly refused paramedics pushing her to be transported to the ER. 

 

Such a lot of hullabaloo!  Oye!!!!!!!  :sassing:  IF I'd turned on my cell when we got within cell range, we would have known WHO the rescue was for at the care home as we drove by.  Bro wasn't too pleased that he wasn't able to reach us.  We heard it all AFTER THE FACT! 

 

DH and I have been introducing my mom to the idea of having a comfortable bed on the main level.  If she has one of her "spells" when no one is there to help her safely go up those STAIRS to her bedroom, then lay down in that bed!!!  The one that has been in there has a Flintstones-type mattress:  ROCK HARD.  SOOOO.... DH, Bro, Niece and I went to work and moved beds around till that was accomplished.  Put all bedding thru the laundry, etc.  Bro working on the finances yet....they see the attorney again tomorrow.  

 

THEN.....  [sorry this is getting long but this really happened all today!!! ]

 

:sigh:   I picked up a phone call from a doctor and my brother handled it.  It's my dad's doctor at the care home.  Bro and my mom have medical power of attorney.  [everyone should have that, btw!!!!!!!!!]   Bro had long conversation with doc and then called us all together in living room.  The short explanation is:  my dad is now considered on hospice.  :blink:  

 

This was just determined ....and was confirmed by DH remembering my dad's medical history several years ago when DH was taking him to doc appointments and going in to the appointments with him.  The near-zero white blood cell count and the very low hemoglobin count is NOT from the dementia medication.  It's a condition he's had and has been refusing to go to his doctor ....refusing to keep up with periodic blood transfusions.  As in:  maybe 5 years ago!  With all the dementia and his power struggles, I think we'd all forgotten about it.  

 

IF he agreed to have regular blood transfusions .....every 2 to 4 weeks....it might prolong his life.  But many of his symptoms including the chest pains and at least part of the dementia can be attributed to this blood disorder.   Bro didn't remember the whole medical name but my dad has it.....and has had it. 

 

We have to make a decision on:  Should he have the regular blood transfusions ? 

 

COVID complication:  Every time he goes to hospital for this, he'd restart 14 days of isolation in his room.  Like......isolation for the rest of his life.  And now my mom can't wear the "moon suits" for more than 15 minutes or she'll overheat.  I've only gone in with "moon suit" once....cuz I ALWAYS overheat.  Bro and niece live in VA.  Only DH would be able to really visit much in person [in "moon suit"]  He recently got out the original 14 days and was getting to eat and socialize with others on that unit when he went back in the hospital last Wed.  :(   It could be like solitary confinement!  

 

I don't think that's the best choice .....but we're all pondering/praying on this.  Pray with us, please.  Not sure if he can actually comprehend this.  He's said recently:  I just want to go Home to Jesus.  I think he'd say he does not want to do the transfusions.  But it's still a hard decision. 

 

Sheeeeesh, what a day for the 5 of us at my mom's today.  We're working together well.  Trying to set up the best for both of them.  I'm SO VERY THANKFUL that I'm now much stronger and able than I was back in mid-March!!!  :amen: 

 

MtRider  ....Thank you all for your kinds words, prayer, and support. 

 

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:hug3::pray: So sorry you are having to deal with this issue with your Dad at this time it would be so hard on all of you I think doing the transfusions and him being in solitary while dealing with dementia issues, hoping your brother gets the finance side of things figured out before he needs to head home again take care of yourself as well as taking care of your mom an empty pot cannot fill another one.

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19 hours ago, pauline said:

an empty pot cannot fill another one.

So True!  My own doctor was bringing up that issue very strongly a couple months ago. 

 

MtRider  ....resting....*kinda*.....today anyway....  :pc_coffee:

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Mt.Rider I am sorry to hear of what you are dealing with with your dad. I know the word hospice strikes fear but there is so much they can do to help. Plus it give the family to make plans and to say good-bye. My mother was on hospice and her passing was less stressful on me than my father's. My dad died of a massive heart attack in his sleep. Both were hard but with mom we had a support group surrounding us helping us along the way. 

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I've been using another saying.....borrowed from the talk you get before the plane takes off.  Put your own air mask on before assisting anyone around you [like a child].

 

I have really been trying to remember that......means you must realistically assess your own strong and weak points......your own limits.  It's worked out better that way.  :amen: 

 

 

My brother/neice have gone back to VA.  My mom is currently living alone but we're in there very frequently.  And I call at night.  Still waiting for the Life Alert thing to arrive.

 

With her all day today....driving her to 3 banks.  Bro has to have her do certain things and was glad we were able to accomplish those today.  While I rode, DH and my mom visited my dad.....who was cranky and not happy.  So afterwards, my mom decided we should all go out to eat.  :)  We did and had a great meal and relaxed from the stress of not being able to make him happy.  Ya can't, ya know.  :grinning-smiley-044:  Some days are better than others with him.  :shrug:  

 

MtRider  .....step by step, our family is trudging thru this brand new territory.  Thanks for prayers!!!!!!!!  :grouphug:

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Mt. Rider, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Though Hospice is great. They will help your mom and all of you through this.  My prayers are with you and your family with special prayers for your mom.  Take care not to overdo and you getting down as well.  Get your rest and listen to your body. When it is time to rest please do so. You will be of better help for your mom if you are not dealing with your health issues.  :pray: :hug3::pray::pray:

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Update:  My brother finally reached my dad's doctor from the care home.  Told him our joint family decision not to continue the transfusions....[and thus keeping in quarantine so much of his time left]. 

 

..................So....it's official.  No one can predict when my dad's white and red blood cells will begin to deteriorate.  The care home doc seems to think it will be within weeks.  Cuz he'd been ready to give him another transfusion in a week or so.  TODAY my dad is finally out of quarantine.  DH picked up my mom and took her to visit with him - without the hot/cumbersome "moon suits".  If possible, they hoped to use my wheelchair to take him outside to the patio area.  He hasn't been outside [except a trip to and from hospital] in weeks. 

 

I had riding and wellness appt and a different appt on 3 consecutive days.  By day three I was...deteriorating.  I've been hoping NOT to overuse adrenaline too much.  So I'm staying home until Tuesday riding.  :imoksmiley:

 

However, I'm doing some emotional homework.  I was counseled to consider that question of what I want/need to do between now and when my dad passes.  Working on that. 

MtRider    ......this time period might get real busy suddenly.  Or....  :shrug:   so much we can't predict...

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