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I got a facebook text from a cousin I don't remember on my father's side.  She wanted to call me.   I knew right when I read the text why the call needed to be made.   I told my husband to watch the baby because a random family member needed to tell me my father was dead.  The call was made and I started it off with all the usual pleasantries and how-are-ya'lls.   Yep.  Dad is dead.  Yesterday morning, had been in hospice for months.   His ex wife (the one I like) was with him.     


The last time I saw him was in 2000.  The last time I heard his voice was in 2003.  He was the one who cut contact, not me and not over anything I did.  I had been expecting a call like that for years and thought I would handle it better.  I did not.  I broke down crying.  It ended up being a hard night and I fell stepping down the 2 steps into my bedroom.  I fell into my big dresser and hurt my left leg & hip and my right elbow and two spots on my head.  Nothing seems broken, but I feel old.  I've been having a lot of falls lately. 


I need to find some sort of railing I can put on those steps to help me go up and down them.  They are a bit weird and you can see them in the background of the cats fighting over my husband's lap.  It wouldn't do much good to attach the railing flat to the walls, so I need something that curves out or goes on the floor.  


Needless to say I did a whole bunch of nothing but hold the baby today.





The other day after reading the insect thread, I was in the kitchen while DD14 was cutting up chicken for dinner.   I told her 'your options are that food is scarce and you can either eat insects or die.  which do you choose?"  she looked up at me deadpan, shook the knife, and asked me if i would teach her how to butcher people*.  This child is more like me than any of the rest.  


*Obviously a joke we would never do that.  We do however enjoy watching zombie movies and Hannibal.  

Edited by euphrasyne
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Euphrasyne, so sorry to hear about your father. But at least he is in a much better place with the Lord and that we can have peace about. :hug3::pray:


And yes, you are having to many falls. Hope everything is ok and no more broken bones. You are too young to be having that many falls. And from what I can tell in the picture, it wouldn't be hard to put a handrail up at the steps. 


Is your white kitty mad about the other kitty taken up lap space. Looks like she's about to pounce or attack. 


I don't know where all those boxes are coming from, but I emptied 5 more of them and got all that stuff in its place. Shouldn't be much left but do have one in den and a few in my bedroom to go through. Been mostly sorting papers and throwing out a lot of old papers and such. More stuff in box for Good Will. House is getting back together but is slow going.  Not as fast as I used to be, but it is getting done.   GS is going to help me Sat. to get the other 2 shelving units put together and then I can finish up in pantry bedroom. Just some organizing and getting spices out of box and on the shelves so I can see what I have. I do have a lot of spices with some that I dried in jars as well. 


Need to get the chandelier cleaned again. It is really dirty from the construction dust. And then get back to washing windows, curtains, blinds and screens.  Going to start working on den, living room, kitchen and dining room more so than the rest of house as Christmas is coming fast and it will be at my house this year. Need to get all that part of house fully cleaned up first. 

Went out and got wood up to house for the wood stove, got it all covered and ready to go.  Hasn't been cold enough to use stove yet but it is going to get there before long. Nights are starting to get colder, but days are back up in 70's. Though the last 2 nights have been a bit warmer. 

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Ach, Euphrasyne!  I know that shock.  I even know that when things haven't been right for years...[in my case, dementia had stolen my dad prematurely ] when the time actually come....  :faint3:   It. Is. A. Shock!   When my mom called to tell me what we'd expected for months, I lost legs and SAT down abruptly.  :scratchhead:   Don't understand how it's such a shock but it is!   :hug3:     Spending time with baby is a good way to begin assimilating the news.  Being distracted and falling down stairs....is not a good way.  I understand the mental fog but please be attentive ....oww!  :(  


MtRider ...prayers for you and family.  :pray: 



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I'm so sorry to hear you lost your dad Euphrasyne. It seems to always be a shock when that call comes, even when it's expected. I'm in a similar situation. My dad and mom separated while she was pregnant with me. I never saw him until I was in my 30's. Too late for a daddy by then. As long as his new wife was alive we kept in contact. She was good that way. When she died, the contact stopped. For no reason. Nothing was said or done. I keep figuring he died and his other kids didn't want me to know incase he put me in his will. He never gave my mother one penny of child support and if I were offered money from him now I wouldn't take it. I do look him up on line every now and then to see if he is still alive. So far he 93 yrs. old. But I'd probably be like you and be emotional too. And introspective. Sigh. Relationships can be complicated, huh?



Yes you are falling way to often! And not little trips either. Balance issues? That's what I have. I'll be glad to get rid of my steps. I have one at the Indy house going from the house to the garage. It's evil too. Its way too short. I end up stepping on the threshold going out the door. That won't be good for the threshold either. I'm sure it will break down if I keep doing that. I hope to get a new step next summer. Oh, and do get you some rails. I've become what I call a 'wall walker'. Every wall I pass by I touch it to maintain my balance. 


Tell your daughter I like the way she thinks. It's called long pork. You might not want to tell her it's such a thing though. She has enough ideas already. :grinning-smiley-044:

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I’m so sorry about your Dad, both the estrangement and his death.  And that fall is just adding insult to injury.  I’m sending healing thoughts and cyber hugs.  :hug3:

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I'm sorry about your dad, @euphrasyne.  And I hope you will have a doctor appt. soon for your balance or falling issues.


Walked early yesterday.
Picked up a friend and went to Lowe's for quickcrete and then Walmart. Sticker shock there! Spent $184 and only got list items and no meat, little dairy. That is the most I have ever spent there.
Took friend home and I came home and put stuff away.
Picked up friend again and went to lunch. She bought since I drive her around.


Will walk before rain this morning.

Taking friend to do early voting at courthouse.

Will walk dogs after rain.

Make biscuits.

Thaw meat for dog food and maybe prep some of the veggies.

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I finally got a little bit of purging done yesterday and this am.  I want to do it while my brain is still good.  I don't want someone else to go thru my stuff. I am mentally in the mood to finally do this.  I hope I get done before the mood lifts.  I have a 2,000 sq.ft house, 1,000 sq ft basement, an attic, a garage and a large barn pretty much stuffed with stuff. A big task.  Since 2 of my grand daughters are being real jerks right now I am going to give them back all of the pictures and things they made me as children. I just can't bear to see those things anymore. I won't tell them the real reason..I will just tell them I am downsizing.


Our weather is still beautiful but rain has been scarce.  They are predicting rain again tomorrow but I won't believe it until I see it.


Hard to believe it is almost November.


Whether you are close or not it always hurts to lose a parent Euphrasyne.  I know when my Dad went, I realized that we will never have the chance to make things normal.  I feel for you and hope you don't have any more falls.


Well it's off to  make lunch and then  back through all my packrat organizing/purging.

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Today…I am tired. :mornincoffee:

Stupid me got on YouTube on my phone last night and watched a video about nuclear war that usually would not have bothered me. Guess what? Right before bed, it gave me anxiety. Took a long time to fall asleep. 

I got up at normal time anyway so I can sleep better tonight. DH and I went to Sam’s and got some stuff we needed. I came home and trimmed/bagged the chicken I got. Briefly considered canning it tomorrow and ultimately decided to wait. I still need to get my daughter’s lesson plans together for next week. 

Now we’re back in the car running errands. I already can’t wait for bedtime! :D

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EmeraldCat, I hate when that happens. To be honest things like that don't bother me much either. My problem is I fall 'down the rabbit hole' going from one video to the next and the next thing I know the sun is coming up.  :o


On the other hand I can't watch anything about animal abuse. Nothing! Even if I know the animal will be okay and living a fantastic life in the end. Dog abuse is the worst! I can't get that remote in my hand fast enough to click it off. And that woman singing that sad song showing animal abuse. Sarah McSomething. What are those people thinking? They want donations but who can sit through that and watch it to the end. They need to consult me. I'd make happy catchy sing along songs that people will remember with happy animals who were actually helped by your generous donations. I can't watch it. Not even animated. No Bambi for me. 


Well, with that happy thought, I'm getting ready to head out the door for errand running too. See ya at Wal-Mart. 

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50 minutes ago, Midnightmom said:


Just wanting to say "Hi" to my long lost, or is it newly found twin!!! :scratchhead:

:hi: :whistling:  :24: 


Good to see you coming up for air too, twin. :008Laughing:


:blink: <== Jeepers eyes after a night out on the town computer pulling another all night bender. That sweet tea will kill ya man. 

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I am trying to stay busy as that helps me to not thing about what is going on personally, politically, economically and such.  My father and lack of communication is much on my mind.  


Today I spent time with the teen and the baby and made orange marmalade.  5 half pints,  1 pint canned and about 1/2 pint in the fridge.  yum.  I adapted my usual orange/grapefruit jelly to be marmalade and changed the seasonings to include pumpkin spice, ginger, cardamon,  and cloves.  DD14 helped and said it tasted like Christmas morning.   It is delicious.  DD14 and I also organized all my canning supplies.  I'm really lucky to have DD14.  She is a rock for me.  


I don't know why cooking and recipes consume me but they do and I am happier when I know how to cook rather than how to follow a recipe.   DD14 and  I talk about it often.  She was working on sewing a skirt for her friend most of the day.   I'm really proud of her, her skills, and her compassion/ friendships.   






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wleuphrasyne, my prayers are with you.  You will get through this. Keeping busy does help.  


That marmalade looks good.  And your DD is really doing great with the sewing and such. She's going to be a great help down the road when things start really getting tough. She can help make clothes for the baby at that rate.


Watched U tube for a bit this morning while GS was sleeping. Cooked a small turkey breast for sandwiches. Cheaper than lunch meat for the time that I bought it. But now can't find a turkey. Food Lion is out of them, and I haven't checked other stores yet. I don't need one, but our church is hoping to get them for the food ministry.  

Went through a couple more boxes and then GS was up and helped me get one of the shelving units up in pantry. Couldn't use both of them. So, one will have to do the job. Now I can get that pantry finished all the way and get started on another project. Need to go through all my OTC meds and get them set up to see what I have and what I need. They will be moved out of the boxes onto the hall closet that used to be a small pantry. That closet is long, so will be great for first aid and OTC meds. I can set them up so I can find what I need right then. Now I just need to think back to the days I worked in a Pharmacy as to how they set things up in the pharmacy section. want to try to set up similar to that. Very easy to spot what you want that way.  Wow telling on myself the pharmacy days goes back well over 45 plus years ago. 

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Euphrasyne, I'm sorry you are struggling right now. It really sucks doesn't it. :sigh:  Here is a big thinking about you hug...  :bighug2:


You are so fortunate to have your kids. Especially your dear older daughter. What a big helper she has been for you. And I remember when she made that ADORABLE little dress for River. I think it was last year? She certainly is very talented.


And in the kitchen too. Might even become a first rate butcher one day. :runcirclsmiley2:


When you described your marmalade I thought of Christmas too. It looks beautiful!


Organization??? Oh yeah. Eye candy for sure. Stay busy Hon. It can help a little. But sometimes you just have to walk through the process and get it settled in your mind so you can move forward. We are all here for you. 

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Euphrasyne,  It’s good to stay busy but don’t push the thoughts away.  Instead change the thoughts in your mind, replacing any regret or blame or worry with more positive thoughts.  Reframe your thoughts.  Just like you reinvent your recipes you can remake your thoughts.  Allow yourself to grieve but also allow your thoughts to rejoice in the fact you have people who love you.  Here’s another big cyber hug. :bighug2:

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Euphrasyne :hug3:So sorry for your loss.


I'm back from 10 days out of town for work, and feeling out of the loop so sorry if I missed any other big news. I read through but too much to comment on so just saying hi and sounds like everyone else is doing ok. Mt Rider glad your strength is coming back a bit! 


I'm going to spend the next week doing laundry, unpacking and trying to finish the window plastic I started before I left. Also raking leaves will be top of my list fo the forseeable future :happy0203:

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Yesterday GS and I got the shelving unit up in pantry.  Could only use one of them and was hoping to use two. But the other one will work great in my shed for other things. 

Went to Church this morning and then after church, we went to the COC building to bag candy for the kids for tomorrow night.  Going to have a Trunk or Treat night.  Hotdogs, drinks, of course candy and games.  The event is getting bigger every year. 


Got home from Church and was just tired. So, laid down for a while.  Didn't sleep but very tired.  Don't know what is going on but this has been happening way too much.  Maybe I am just overworked and too much on my mind with the economy and everything. Really starting to wish I saved that money I spent on the construction, but it was so needed. And down the line I would have either had a house fire from one of the 3 outlets that was cracked. or water damage from corroded pipes. So, I guess when I look at it like that it was a much-needed thing to have to get done. 


Still tired but at least I am up and did a few things this afternoon. Got bills paid and ready to mail tomorrow. 

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Littlesister glad you got your shelving up! I get what you mean about regretting the money spent on the house, I feel that way a bit too but remind myself that the wiring would have been a huge risk to leave as is, and having a functional kitchen where I can preserve food properly will be important. We can only move forward and having a house without fire and leaks is kind of needed :)

Not much on my agenda today except work and more laundry but that's a good place to start!

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