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What is Streams in the Desert all about?

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The Moderators and I have been having lengthy pow wows over the past week about MrsS, renewing our commitment to this site, strategizing on how to clean her up, freshen her up and how to make her a safe place that really cares. One of the changes we have made, is to once again, assign moderators to each forum so that the membership, when they have a question or need help, or simply need to talk to someone, can easily know who to contact on any given forum. As the Moderators were thinking and picking and choosing what forums they wanted to moderate, I said from the get go, "I want Streams in the Desert - that's MY baby".


Over the last day or two, as I have looked over the forums and watched them working tireless hours, my heart has been very touched because they truly DO care. They are doing an amazing job and I am genuinely so proud of them, so I guess we'll see how many of them make it over to the SITD forum and see what I wrote above :)


Anyway, as I've been watching them work, and as I have scrolled down the list of forums on this site, I kept seeing the Streams forum with my name listed as Moderator. Quite a few times I've commented to myself, "Ummmm hello, Darlene...do you see what the other girls are doing in their forums, and yet you haven't even placed one post yet".




For me, and in the days to come, whatever I share here will most likely be at the prompting of the Lord. As evidenced in the numerous posts I wrote years ago, I've always loved and thrived putting into word, the thoughts I have in my heart and mind. What happened though, about 10-12 years ago, was the Lord completely shut down my ability to write...my ability to share, and I couldn't write a word. I'm serious. Not one word.


Mt Rider and I, self proclaimed spiritual "Twins", of which I am often not happy about because whatever happens to her, ends up happening to me, and vice versa. I often comment to the Lord, that I personally prefer to be autonomous and an unique individual, and yet, He continues to mirror our lives in many ways even though we live far away from each other. But, the point of this comment is that we have a code word, "cave", that alerts the other that for whatever reason, we have retreated into our own personal 'cave' where we don't want any one to find us, and we just need some time alone with the Lord. She often reminds me to keep the door of my cave cracked so that the Lord can still come in, even if I bar the door to others. It's an illusive analogy that makes perfect sense to us, so with that explanation above...


I guess I went into my cave for many, many years. As year went by, I felt as if I had gone even deeper into my cave, and at some point, wondered if I would ever be able to find my way out again. I became content with my cave (after many years of whining and crying about it...not wanting to be stuck in my cave, pleading with the Lord for answers to "why?" even though I never did receive an answer.


Looking back over all the years, being the smart girl I am (because I always have to figure things out), I still don't have any concrete answers from the Lord as to the why, but I can tell you what happened.


He began to do a work in my life that at times required what I've always referred to as 'spiritual surgeries', where in His infinite wisdom He has found it necessary to fix and heal those things that I had broken or damaged. For many years, He took me to a movie theater that was located in some obscure place in my cave, where He walked me through the years gone by, but showed me "ME" through His eyes and not just my own. Watching those movies was often quite painful and my heart often grieved with depths I would have otherwise avoided. But somehow, because only He is God, He did it in a way that was intimate and private, safe and secure, with a love that transcends human understanding.


I have to admit that I watched those movies over and over again and the enemy knew because he would try to obliterate me with memories from my past. But our ever faithful God gave me a tool found in His Scriptures, which was exactly that - His Scriptures. He taught me how to not only fight back, but to win by countering those beating sessions orchestrated by the enemy, with truths and promises found in His Word. That was not only an amazing discovery, but was and is, a tool I will use forever.


There came a time when that movie theater ran out of movies and instead was replaced with silence. I would look to Him and ask, "what now? Is this it? I have no idea what to do next".


What I'm learning is that there is nothing that *I* need to do next. That is up to Him to do as He pleases. But those years I spent in that fiery furnace, being refined by those flames may continue in the days to come because we never 'arrive', but the refining that He did in the past is complete because He is perfect and His work is perfect.


I will tell you one thing, I had ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of writing what I just wrote above. My original intent was to go in a completely different direction, which I'm sure I will do soon. For today, however, this is what He wanted me to share, and I must admit I have to look at Him and say, "Really?".


Ay yi yi.


I do know that our own individual walks with the Lord are jealously protected by Him. We each are His own creation and He knows exactly what and how to do the work that He yearns to do in each of us. That, I guess, is a glimpse into a little of the work He has done in my life over the years and for some reason, He wanted me to share.


I HAVE TO STATE FOR THE RECORD ONE MORE TIME, THAT *MY* INTENTIONS IN THIS POST WAS NO WHERE CLOSE TO WHAT I WROTE ABOVE. Sheesh lol You can probably understand a little of what I mean, by the title I originally applied, "What is Streams in the Desert all about". lol



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What a blessing to read.  You might just have another spiritual sister. I can completely understand every word of your post, because I have lived it. Your beautiful words were a joy to read, because there really is *someone* who knows exactly how I feel. I went through years and years of cavework myself. I wanted to be alone, yet I cried out, screamed and asked the Lord why. You answered your own question, but are unaware. Sweet sister, in your weakness, He is made perfect. And His perfection rests on us. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He said to me, "My grace suffices you, for the power is perfected in weakness. Therefore will I boast rather gladly in my weakness, so the power of Christ may rest upon me." During your years of cave time, your power was perfected and now shines. *hugs*


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I believe that God works in each of His children lives uniquely, individually, personally and differently. Not everyone would understand the "cave years", but it means alot that you do.

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  • 2 weeks later...

an old song i jotted down years ago keeps sounding in my brain as I read this...."Our God chooses for us crosses, He decrees our gains and losses, So in everything you do give thanks to Him"  I see we are all on the same road.  Rocks, landslides, ravines, and booby traps aplenty, but what a destination awaits!  And what a loving God to lead us on!  

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