Sheesh. Make your own crackers!

[Darlene]

Again, as I observe the shelves at the grocery store thin out more and more, I find myself resorting to my default of, "if they can do it, I can do it better!" with a variety of items.

 

For this post, I'm going to talk about crackers. I love all kinds of crackers and the 2 requirements are crispy and salty. Not too salty, but salty enough to hit that sweet spot.

 

The list of types of crackers that can be made at home is endless! There's sourdough, cheese, gluten free, graham, whole wheat, chickpea, zwieback, soda, pita, herb, paleo, sesame crackers, on and on and on but crackers galore.

 

So weep not little preppers . Who cares if 'they' can't fulfill our wants and needs. We can fulfill those things ourselves.

 

Crackers are unbelievably simple. Seriously. They're basically flour, salt, some sort of fat (oil, butter, etc), sometimes leavening agents (baking soda/baking powder depending on the recipe), liquid (water or milk) and that's it! You can add herbs, cheese and a variety of other flavorful additives.

 

Mix the ingredients together and (again) depending on the recipe, let the dough rest for a period of time. Roll it out between waxed paper or parchment paper, cut, poke a few holes, sprinkle with salt or whatever kind you're making, and bake.

 

That's it. Homemade crackers.

 

Seriously, think about it. Let's say hypothetically that I'm able to buy 6 (or 20 if I'm really being honest) boxes of my favorite crackers to last me into the days ahead. Once I buy those crackers, I've started the 'shelf life' timer. I think about those crackers, I plan meals around those crackers, I get out excel spreadsheets to lay out a game plan to make those crackers last as long as I can because WHAT IF! What if I can't get them any more, and all I will be left with is my memories of crackers that meant so much to me. Because THAT is what will happen if I let it. And, if I try to extend the shelf life of those beloved crackers too long, they'll start to get rancid or taste off and all of that money, all of that energy and emotion I dumped into that stupid box of crackers will end up being thrown over the gate to the chickens, who really will enjoy the crackers but they will never appreciate all I put into that stupid box.

 

I like crackers, sometimes I love crackers, but take my ability to purchase crackers away from me and suddenly those crackers become one of the most important foods in my life ONLY because I can't get them. Is that crazy or what?

 

So, my solutions are called "Plan B's". If I can't get Triscuits or Wheat Thins or saltine crackers. If I can't get Ritz or goldfish or anything, who cares because I have a Plan B, and if I can't purchase at a reasonable price, the crackers I enjoy, then I'll just make my own. Actually, I HAVE made homemade crackers before and let me tell you, you want to talk about getting addicted to something? Homemade crackers could fit that bill in a heart beat.

 

The important thing is not so much that box of crackers, but the ingredients you'll need to make them. Stock up on those things now while you can because some of those ingredients are transferrable to other types of food. Flour is needed to make pasta, but it's also needed to make crackers and bread and bakery items. Forget about the commercially prepared stuff as much as you can and become more independent, creating an environment where you are free and can serve yourself and become less reliant on others (companies) to prepare those things you love.

 

For those that don't know where to start, there's hundreds of cracker recipes on the internet, but here's King Arthur's site that has an abundance of cracker recipes and might be a good place to start.

 

https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/crackers 

 

This is pep talk #2. (pasta was pep talk #1)  lol

[Dee]

I've made crackers and you're right there's not much to it and yes, they're good!

[Homesteader]

3 hours ago, Darlene said:

And, if I try to extend the shelf life of those beloved crackers too long, they'll start to get rancid or taste off and all of that money, all of that energy and emotion I dumped into that stupid box of crackers will end up being thrown over the gate to the chickens, who really will enjoy the crackers but they will never appreciate all I put into that stupid box.

 

I tried that once. The chickens threw them back at me so I fed them to Ed. He loved them.   

[Darlene]

4 hours ago, Homesteader said:

 

I tried that once. The chickens threw them back at me so I fed them to Ed. He loved them.   

 

ROFL

 

Poor Ed. If he only knew what a brat you truly are.

[Homesteader]

24 minutes ago, Darlene said:

Poor Ed. If he only knew what a brat you truly are.

 

Just remember. He's the one who hollowed out the book that sent Theo the toad back to you.  

[Darlene]

8 hours ago, Homesteader said:

 

Just remember. He's the one who hollowed out the book that sent Theo the toad back to you.  

Yes. I remember. 
 

But I’ve always had a sneaky feeling that there was another Mastermind (whose name shall not be mentioned, whose ID starts with H and ends with R with 9 letters in between), who victimized poor Eduardo, who threatened to cease all preparation of meals, who threatened that poor boy until he finally called out “Uncle”, and took his beloved boyhood penknife and began to carve out each page of that historical book to create Theodore’s final tomb. 
 

Perhaps it is finally time for the great “Mystery of Theodore” to be shed with truthful light. 
 

[Homesteader]

 

3 hours ago, Darlene said:

that poor boy until he finally called out “Uncle”, and took his beloved boyhood penknife and began to carve out each page of that historical book to create Theodore’s final tomb.

 

Actually, he sold his beloved boyhood penknife and bought some parts for his race car. I can still hear him laughing in his machine shop when he quickly carved Theo's final tomb with a bandsaw.

 

Funny how distorted your stories become the older you get. 

Edited April 10, 2022 by Homesteader

[Darlene]

23 minutes ago, Homesteader said:

 

Funny how distorted your stories become the older you get. 

 

Our stories have never matched. lol

 

But then again, I do have video of the infamous bungee jump. 
 

oooooops. 
 

[Dee]

Be careful of her Homey, be very careful.  She also has the picture of my turkeys and threatens me with them often! 

[Homesteader]

3 hours ago, Darlene said:

Our stories have never matched. lol

 

But then again, I do have video of the infamous bungee jump. 

 

I would like to see the video. Please????  

 

Don't worry, Dee. Once you let out all the hot air, she becomes much more manageable and lots of fun to be around.  

Edited April 10, 2022 by Homesteader

[Darlene]

I'll have to see if my son can transfer it online.

 

Then again, we had a ton of witnesses to that tragic day.