Guest Guest Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 Cleaning Tips (starter... let's see *yours*!!) * Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone. * Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" * Pet Hair: Explain the drifts of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sown play animals for underprivileged children. * Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive." * Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes." * Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons and try to muster a glint of tears as you say "Jr did this the week before that unspeakable accident & I haven't had the heart to clean it." * General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." (author unknown) Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 Don't clean your child's high chair and say that the food left in there is for a later "snack". Of course...that has *NEVER* happened to me! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 Hehehe And I never ever once threw a large dust sheet over the mess in the living room and claimed to be decorating when my very exacting mil came to visit not long after the birth of my first child - grin Stargirl Quote Link to comment
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