Guest Guest Posted August 30, 2003 Share Posted August 30, 2003 Cow For Sale The farmer had been taken in so many times by the local car dealer that when the dealer came to him and wanted to buy a cow, the farmer priced it as follows……… Basic cow…………………………………………………………………… $1,879.87 Two tone plush exterior (optional)…………………………….…….. $1,197.08 Deluxe Dual Horns (Weather durable)……………..…………………… $747.92 Genuine Cowhide upholstery………………………………………. $1,346.73 Arial Sonar……………………………………………………………….. $1,462.92 Lawn mower (includes a lifetime of free gas.)…………………………..… $2,474.58 Automatic composter (guaranteed to never wear out)……….….……. $2,483.87 Automatic grain mill (guaranteed to never wear out)……..……...…. $2,126.93 Automatic compost shredder (guaranteed to never wear out)…..… $1,873.23 Heavy duty straw shredder (guaranteed to never wear out)…….…. $1,862.29 Deluxe automatic fly swatter (guaranteed to never wear out)……. $1,892.61 Produce storage unit (guaranteed to never wear out)……………….. $1,999.34 Extra stomachs (3-extra, standard equipment) (guaranteed to never rust or never wear out. Must be filled regularly.) ……………………………….…………….…… $2,492.81 Deluxe, commercial grade, 4-spigot, huge volume, easy flow dispenser (guaranteed to never rust or never wear out. Must be serviced 2x’s a day).…… $6,817.72 4-hoof (quad) drive (guaranteed to never wear out, never needs oil)…….. $2,736.33 Required accessories* (Never operate equipment without them)…… $11,239.22 Pre-showroom detailing…………………………………………… $894.11 Road ready…………………………………………………………….. $992.39 Stock trailer delivery………………………………………………. $1,763.10 Extended 30-day service plan (optional).………………….. $999.99 Excess paperwork………………………………………………….. $1,202.01 Filing fees……………………………………………………………… $901.01 Handling fees………………………………………………………… $874.92 Non-refundable credit check…………………………………… $986.42 Authenticity of ownership papers…………………………… $2684.92 Registration fee…………………………………………………….. $5,697.34 Sub total………………………………………………………..……… $61,629.66 Tax (Uncle Sam wants his cut.)…………………………………………… $12,462.59 Total…………………………………………………………………….. $74,092.25 Returned checks…………………………………………………… $495.00 “”**Bonus!!!””** Free lifetime of aromatherapy and organic matter to feed your garden. *Accessories included: Deluxe stainless steel spigot extractor Authentic Cowheart-rubberised coveralls, Original Cowgard cap-with bonus face shield (for those times when the composter is in full operation) Top of the line Cowpii boots with virgin calf hyde lining (To keep out what you don’t want in and keep those tootsies warm.) Rubberized (full length, hand to shoulder) gloves Genuine Cowpii compost scooper (industrial strength, pooper scooper, NEVER leave home without it.) Guarantee: Once it leaves the farm, we will not be held responsible or liable for anything. Buyer takes full responsibility and agrees to clean up any and all messes and be held accountable and liable for any and all damages that may occur. Owner is responsible for all repairs, damages and losses. If the owner decides to put such a prized possession on his table, ownership will revert back to the original owner after all processing has been completed. Author: unknown Revision Author: C. L. Grody Hill Quote Link to comment
ozzzyyy Posted August 30, 2003 Share Posted August 30, 2003 hehehe...What goes around, comes around Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted September 3, 2003 Share Posted September 3, 2003 *Giggle* I agree! Something about doing to others what you want them to do to you! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted September 3, 2003 Share Posted September 3, 2003 yep 2 versions of that saying 1) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you 2) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you only do it first! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 Or, Cavey, do unto others only do it first . . . sg Quote Link to comment
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