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Jokes (But some are so true.)


moonstar

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I dialed a number and got the following recording:

 

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

 

~~~~~

 

At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."

 

~~~~~

 

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."

 

"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."

 

~~~~~

 

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

 

~~~~~

 

As my five year old son and I were headed to MacDonald's one day, we passed a car accident.

Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."

 

From the back seat I heard his earnest request:

 

"Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to MacDonald's."

 

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

 

~~~~~

 

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

 

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

 

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

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