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The Top 10 Signs You're A Lousy Cook:


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10. Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren.


9. Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes like.


8. Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.


7. Your kids favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.


6. You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle.


5. Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner.


4. Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags. (Your leftovers!)


3. Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.


2. No matter what you do to it, the gravy still turns bright purple.


... and the Number 1 Sign You're A Lousy Cook:


1. You burned the house down trying to make jelly!



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