Wheeler Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?" 5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?" 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?" 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate. 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up. 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you ay, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up. 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended. 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer. 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number. 17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes." 18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder! 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 FUNNY! Guess what I'll be doing this evening!?! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 LOL, I've used #12 and #20, and it sure gets em off the phone in a hurry. Some other great ones there too that I'll have to try. Afraid I don't much patience though with those who call after 8 PM.....they don't off so easy. Quote Link to comment
Wheeler Posted June 7, 2003 Author Share Posted June 7, 2003 Hey y'all, I'm always getting calls about vinyl siding, or window replacements for the homeowner, etc. Even though I do own my home, I just say "I don't think my landlord would do that"... They don't even say goodby... Quote Link to comment
gardnmom Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 I have a foolproof way of taking care of telemarketers.... they identify themselves....... I hang up. Quote Link to comment
Dee Posted June 7, 2003 Share Posted June 7, 2003 Ah Lois, we are New York State of Mind Kindred Spirits. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 I'm really Bad. Capital B, I wait till they ask for..oh say my roommate. I first make sure it is indeed a dreaded marketeer, Then I mock Gasp and either say 'Is this some SICK joke? Calling for her during her funeral??????????" or whisper "You didn't hear she was incarcerated? I don't know the # for the prison". You'd be amazed how fast the phone slams down. snark Cookie Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 COOKIE JAR!!! I'm shocked!!! Quote Link to comment
logcabinmama Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 These are so good. I have let them give their talk and then let them know I'm not interested. When they continue, I ask them 'What part of NO do you not understand'. I have also had those who have told me to have a good day and then say bye. There are all kinds out there. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 I recently signed up for the Texas No Call list, and then for the national No Call list and those calls have almost totally gone away. I still get calls from politicians, tho. No way to shut them up. sg Quote Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.