Guest Guest Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 ....well you think you have steeled yourself against the inevitable loss of an animal, there is always that one that sneaks up and surprises you, catches you with your defenses down, pet or livestock, doesn't matter, it still breaks your heart. We have lost dogs, and cats, birds, chickens, goats, you name it. It always makes me feel bad, but I think the most devastating loss was the one that impacted my husband the most. The strong guy. The man of steel, the one who never gets his hopes up, and accepts such losses by chalking them up to natural, inevitable events. I should have seen it coming when he refused to be on the property when this particular animal had to be put down by the vet. We'd only had this animal a little more than a year, far too little time it seemed to form an emotional attachment. I was sad, of course, but I knew it was the right thing to do, and I was there, stroking his head when the medicine took effect and he went, and I did not shed the first tear. "It's over. He's gone." I told my husband on the phone after the vet left. There was a long silence, long enough that I prepared to repeat myself when I heard him draw in a shaky breath. "Okay. Okay." His voice sounded far away. It had that soft quality to it that spoke volumes. I knew that he had probably shed a few tears. In an instant my mind went back over all the animals we have lost and I tried to find another one that had had such an impact on him and I racked my brain tryin' to figure out what the connection was, what the attachment was, what this animal had that all the others hadn't had, and I never did figure it out. Neither did I ever bring it up. It's not my place to put him in the position of having to explain or justify his feelings for this animal. It was my place to make sure that all evidence of his personal tragedy were removed before he got home, so that he would not have to deal with any bad reminders. I realized that I didn't need to understand why, only to understand, and I know that when my time comes along, when I lose that animal and it devastates me, even if I can't explain why, he will be there for me, in just the same way. For whatever reason, this animal was irreplacable in his mind, that's all that matters. I can't fix it, I can't change it, I can't make it any better. I can only be there and understand and know that even the man of steel has his weaknesses. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 (((((Cindi and DH))))) Sounds like you are a great wife...sorry for the loss of your beloved animal! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 It's an eye opening experience when your 'tough as a nut' brawny husband shows that tender side. Sigh. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 awwwwwwwwwwwww... How beautiful though, that you can *see* far more than is being said. And your right...when it's your turn to process through something painful, he will remember vividly your tenderness and understanding. Thank you for sharing this. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 Him my honey. You're welcome. Quote Link to comment
mrszouave Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 What a tender hearted guy........so sorry for his loss. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 You are so right, and so full of wisdom and grace. You are an example to us all. Loosing an animal you dearly love is really tough. We had a black lab/bulldog. We made the mistake of allowing the previous owner, whom gave him to us, know where we lived. We had him for 2 months and we adored him and he adored us. The previous owner came back and took him from us. She threatened to take us to court to fight over him. The way she went blistic with us, we knew she would do it and we could not afford the fight, where she could. So we let her take him from us. It tore our hearts out to let him go. I grew up on a farm. Own one now, well, homestead is more like it. I have lived all my life with seeing animals come and go, one way or another. I was taught that is part of life on the farm. I had a golden retriever mix who was the guardian of my homestead. She did everything, was smart as a whip. The best dog I ever had. She died at age 14, one year before we got the black lab/bulldog. I mourned Sandy's death (the golden Retriever). After her death I lost her Son who was 12, he took to biting and we had to put him down, he was our gentle giant. Then my 13 year old Springer Spaniel died. He was and had always been my baby. We had Ivan for only 2 short months. He was the black lab/bulldog. But he won our hearts like no other. I dearly loved my previous 3 dogs and mourned their passing. But there was just something about Ivan. We all felt it. He has been gone for a few months now and I thought I had come to terms with his being gone. I mean, I am the tough one. I was raised on a farm, I know the score. My family on the other hand, they were raised in town and up until they met me 2 years ago, they knew very little about life on the farm and took every loss very hard. Yesturday I was watching a 4th of July parade and there was a minature bulldog in it. It looked nothing like our beloved Ivan. But I knew it was a bulldog. Next thing I knew the tears was a rolling down my cheeks. And wouldn't you know it! Just that moment the owner decided to leave the parade with the dog and get him some water. She walked him across the street and just a couple feet past me, then stoped to give him some water to drink. I felt like a fool, everyone was looking at me and I was crying uncontrolably. I never knew until that moment, just how much Ivan had stole my heart away. We have decided we are going to save our money and try to get us another bulldog. And in the future, any animal we get, we will never let the previous owners know where we live. My heart goes out to you and your DH. May the wounds heal and the hole be filled with another animal that will be in your lives for a very long time. Hill Quote Link to comment
Linda Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 i understand what you mean about the *strong man* and it's the strong who needs a good women like yourself with a good heart. may the Lord bless you both... Quote Link to comment
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