Kids say the darndest things

[Guest Guest]

think we parents can relate to some of these thoughts!

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when

a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark

naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout

from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd

dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in

the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my

bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a

charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it

fell in the toilet a few days ago."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note

from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child

are not necessarily those of his parents."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During

her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to

answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her

mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you

right now. She's hitting the bottle."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing,

my family eats a considerable amount of wild game. So much, in fact,

that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the

dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up and said, "Boy, it

sure would be nice if pizzas lived in the woods."

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. "The secret," she

said,"is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side

before you try to zip it up." The boy looked at her quizzically...

"Why does it have to be a secret?"

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

When my daughter was three, we watched Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs

for the first time. The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old lady

selling apples, and my daughter was spellbound. Then Snow White took a

bite of the poisoned apple and fell to the ground unconscious. As the

apple rolled away, my daughter spoke up. "See, Mom. She doesn't like

the skin either."

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's

locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with

ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in

amazement and then asked, "What's the matter -- haven't you ever seen a

little boy before?"

 

My Aunt sent this to me. I thought it was so funny. di

------------------

[Deblyn]

Thanks for those - I really enjoyed them and will pass them on.

[gardnmom]

Thanks, I needed that!

------------------

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when

our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

[Goose Liver]

Thanks Do, those were so cute. I am going to send them on to my mom, she will enjoy them as well.

------------------

[Guest Guest]

Funny! Kids sure do have a unique perspective on life

------------------

[Guest Guest]

LOL!

------------------