HAVE YOU EVER WANTED

[Judy Moist]

Have you ever wanted to just shake someone so hard that maybe it would wake them up? OOOOOOHHHHHH. I am so frustrated and mad and hurt. I have finally told my family, that they are just to go on and stay out of my life. I am tired of them hurting me and upsetting me.

This is a rather lengthy story, but will make it quick as can,just really need to vent right now!

when my mother died, she did not leave a will. She left many unpaid expenses. House mortgage, unpaid medical and credit card bills. She had adopted my nephew when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, they were raising him, and dad was able to put him on his benefits.(I raised my nephew for the first 8years of his life, while everyone else was in school and college and out doing drugs and sleeping around.) My father begged me, to go out of that house and get myself a life, he was worried about me being stuck raising someone elses child at the young age of 17.

Now, my nephew was the only one living in mom's house when she died. My youngest sister was the one handling mom's financial concerns(I lived out of state when all this started). I am the only child out of 6 who helped take care of the house, who did any work on the yard,I was always there for mom when she needed someone.

Well after she died, no one knew what to do about the house. They kept callingme and asking me. So finally I took it upon myself to call the man that mom bought the house from. I told him the situation, that mom had passed away, and that my nephew was living there alone, and he had only just started working out at lowes part time, and that he could not afford a mortgage payment. But that I could afford to make it for him. As long as we would be reassured that he would not kick us out of the house. The man said he would do whatever to help us. As long as the payment was made on the house we could do whatever we wanted with it.

Well my oldest sister, didn't like the idea of me moving in that house and making the payment, she thought that I was out to cheat my nephew out of what was his. (NOT true, trying to keep him from losing it).Well a big family ruckus was started about it. My oldest brother wanted me to take over the house payment for our nephew. He knew what I was trying to do. Not only did the payment have to be made, but also the house needs some extensive repairs to it, before we put it up for sale, Which probate court is going to make us do. I could afford to make the payment and do the repairs, where as none of the rest of them could. I also have access to construction equipment that would be needed that they don't, I also had a couple of different construction people ready to come out to the house and tell us exactly what all needed to be done, to get the house back to code, and was willing to help us with the work, at a way discounted price, Because my husband had done a lot of work for them. It would have saved the family thousands of dollars, and when the time to sale the house came, we could have gotten twice the asking price..... But no I was supposedly up no good. I was told that nothing that goes on inside that house was any of my business, that I needed to stay out of it. Now take in mind, when my mom needed someone to wipe her backside in the middle of the night it was surely my business.

Well a year went by that I did not speak to my brothers and sisters. We have just recently over the past 6 months started talking again.

Last night we were in our family chat room talking, I told my oldest sister to relay a message to our nephew, that the man next door to moms house is getting ready to call the city on him, if he doesn't get the yard mowed, which is a $500 fine in this state. She smarts off,"If you want it mowed you go mow it yourself". Well that set me off.

She kept saying that my nephews truck is broken down and he is having hard enough time getting to and from work, that he couldnt worry about that right now, I told her yeah, I know he has been driving my brothers jeep since his truck has been down, he doesn't have enough time to worry about mowing his yard, but he sure has time to go four wheeling up in the mountains,and running around town with his buddies.

She said that I was being mean to him, that I needed to treat him better. I told her, that since Nothing that goes on in that family and in that house isn't any of my business then it is not my place to mow the yard. I am just tired of the neighbors confronting me everytime I go town about what an eyesore my mothers house is becoming. They are just sitting ther letting it rot, and it makes me so dang me. I could just line everyone of them up and just knock the pure crap out of everyone of them......

 

Ok, I feel a little better, but to tell you the truth, this time, I am more angry than hurt, after Mom first passed and we first got into it I cried all the time for nearly 6 months over it, made myself sick over the fact that not only had I lost my mom , but also my family. But do you know this time I feel anger, but nothing else. I just really don't care anymore.....

[Guest Guest]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{unikemom}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

Yes, you do care, and that's why it hurts so much.

 

 

[Synn]

Sometimes when it comes to family you have to have very tough skin. It may be best to just distance yourself for awhile and when some one asks you or comments on your mom's house tell them you have nothing to do with it. Let him get a fine. Then maybe he will know that someone else isn't going to do it or hand it to him.

[Judy Moist]

We had told them to get the house back up to code that it was going to cost around $10,000.00, that is what we were quoted.

What we offered to do, was move in the house, with my nephew. We would take over the house payment and take the money out of our pockets to do the repairs on the house. ll the nephew would have to worry about, was helping us with the labor. He would still be in his home, not have to worry about a mortgage payment (because on his salary he can't afford it, he is only 19, this is the first job he has ever had.)The only condition, was that we get to stay in the house for two years, and that he would have some rules to follow. He had been by himself since mom was in the hospital. He was used to just leaving his guns and knives laying around,(there would be no more of that), he was used to watching porn on the net all day,(no more of that)and he would watch his mouth around the kids,... To recoup some of the money we put into it. This way he has two year to get on his feet financially. I never said anything about wanting the house, I donot. I just worry about my nephew ending up out on the streets.

And one thing they don't realize, it that he is going to lose the house anyway, they have got to put it in probate and put it up for sale and the money made off the sale of the house goes to the attorney and then split between all 6 of us. Or if they don't get off their tale ends and do something now, the state is going to take everything. I try to tell them but they just don't want to listen, they think they can go below the system,.....

I just can't keep letting them get to me. and I refuse to let them hurt me anymore, I have been through two years of this now. I can't do it anymore,it is just time to go on without them, if they have no more respect for me than that.....yeah it does hurt, but I can't let it get me down anymore.

[Linda]

Unikemon sure do understand family can really hurt us.

i use to tell my one brother that God made us brother and Sister cause if we weren't then we would have nothing to do with one another. We don't much anyways but ...

I live a ways from my family and we don't talk much any more .. I am nice to them and polite when we do visit but that is it and refuse to be anymore.

[Guest Guest]

Hmmmm....why not just go there and move in and do what you want to do to fix it up to code....seeing the rest are just full of hot air I don't think they can or will do much about it anyhow....you can justify this move as protecting your 1/6th interest in the house and then deduct the cost of repairs (keeps all receipts) from the sale of the house prior to the split proceeds....any competent lawyer can help you with that.

[logcabinmama]

Oh yes, families can be something else.