Originally Posted By: Shurleen
Wow. This is such hard stuff. I'm so sorry, Melissa. I can feel your pain and confusion. Maybe because I've been there myself with my oldest son.
When my son went thru his horrible teen times, I stood straight and didn't move from where I had to stand, even tho I was crying while I stood firm. He saw me cry. He saw me stand firm.
He still did what he chose and went thru a few years of hell.
It was really REALLY hard.
I don't know what the answer to all this stuff is.
I lived thru it. My son lived thru it. A lot of us lived thru it. Your son will live thru it.
(((Melissa))) I hope this is all over sooner rather than later, and that there is a happy ending to the story.
I could had written the above post myself- except I am still waiting....
I have been through this with me oldest two. With the oldest it was a girl. We did try and go with the flow and things went from bad to worst. At 18 he moved out and in with her. They eventually got married and now have a son. He is 22 and she is 23- and they are totally unhappy with eachother -but I am doing what I can- which is to pray, pray, pray.
My middle son will be 18 on Wednesday. He moved out Saturday. He recently did a month in bootcamp he is very angry with us about. He was staying out all night and drinking and smoking pot (both boys were raised in a Christian home BTW- and they KNOW God's Word) We were going to ask him to move out about 6 mo. ago and the police told us we could not until he was 18- so we took him to the Jr probation officer and put him in the system and that is how he ended up going to bootcamp. I hate that he had to go and I hate the damage it has done to our relationship -but it did do him some good -and at least I did take a stand and did not move.
I dont have any answers except cling to God for peace and wisdom -and stay in prayer.
I have a 10 year old at home now and he look at his brothers and says I will never act like that but I remind him they loved God at his age too...the road is narrow...
(edited to add- I am not trying to convince him he will end up like them- but that the choice will be his in the end andhe will have thengs that will try and pull him in the wrong direction and it will be up to him to make the right choices) also- middle son was (is) a VERY hard worker. He had 2 trucks by age 16- paid all his own gas, insurance, cell phone -this is part of what made him feel like he did not need to be accountable to us though- also we hesatate a little longer to take away a truch he had paid for than we might have had it been one we paid for.
On a side note- I am probably not the one to give advice- but if I had had a relative to send either one of mine to - to remove them from the situation- I might have choose that road.