Thanksgiving dilemma

[ricardo]

For years I always hosted Thanksgiving dinner. Meaning, I

hosted my parents, my husbands parents and my husbands

sister and her husband and children. 15 people. That's not

the problem, I love hosting and cooking.

 

The problem is my parents and his parents DO NOT get

along. The whole time that everyone is here they are

seperated. His family to one room, mine to the other.

 

This is not what Thanksgiving is all about. Thanksgiving

is my favorite holiday. It's about being thankful for

your family, friends, home, etc.

 

Last year I said no. I had my parents over and that was all.

His parents went to Alabama. It just didn't give

me that "warm fuzzy feeling" like a Thanksgiving should.

 

I want to have everyone over but I HATE that seperation

that happens after dinner. I tell myself every year I'm

not going to have the big dinner, but I feel like I need

that "warm fuzzy feeling".

 

(Banging head against wall....Banging head against wall...)

 

I like to prepare

 

What should I do?

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Have you ever tried games? There are some good ones out there.

 

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"Apples to Apples"

 

Everyone gets a hand of cards with people, places, or things on them. The "judge" changes with every turn. Judge draws a card that says something like "the scariest thing on earth".

 

Each person looks at what they hold, all different. One person might put down "King Kong". Another might put down "broccoli". Still another might put down "Howard Stern". Each person can defend his/her choice to the judge, who decides who "wins". Then the judge changes, and the game continues. (So favorites can't continually win.)

 

Even children can hold their own against adults in this one, though there are other versions than the original. We don't use a few of the cards with kids.

 

http://www.otb-games.com/showcase/index.html

 

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Dirty Bingo

 

Everyone brings used or new "white elephant" gifts, wrapped up for secrecy. You play regular Bingo, but every time someone has a "bingo", they choose one of the gifts and keep it. You don't clear everyone's cards after each bingo (some people do).

 

You need more than enough gifts for everyone, so at the end everyone should have at least one gift. But after the initial pile of gifts is taken, the next "bingo" takes a gift from someone *else* (why it's called "dirty").

 

If there are a lot of young children, we make a rule that you can only take from someone who has more than one gift. If they're all adults, you could choose to make it as "grabby" as you like!

 

With this game, you have to set a time limit or a set number of games. Otherwise, you'll be exchanging gifts forever.

 

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The Ungame

 

This can be a really "deep" game, or less so. It encourages communication and thinking, and emphasizes listening to each other. (One of the rules is that no one talks until the person with the card is finished answering.)

 

When we use it at our women's retreat, each person takes several cards and chooses which or how many to answer.

 

Cards may be something like "Describe your favorite Christmas gift", or "Where would you most like to visit?". It comes in different versions.

 

https://secure.techreflex.com/talicor/items...nocache=4201628

 

Put out some snacks and try something new??

 

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

No, it's not too early!

 

Cat's right. Sometimes silly games can really break the ice. I hosted a double shower for my nephew and his bride to be, and had both sets of parents here. Relationship between the bride and her parents were strained. Parents were of a different religion and disapproved of their daughter marrying a Christian "heathen", and neither of them had much of a sense of humor. Anyway, I had everyone play a silly game about sex, and I'll be darned if her parents didn't smile! After that, the whole party loosened up. You might also try going around the table and having everyone say what they are thankful for. Sometimes that opens their eyes to what is important.

 

Good luck. Mixing relatives can be a real balancing act, and I'm like you...I love Thanksgiving, and love being with those I love the most, and want everyone to get along and have a good time.

[ricardo]

I am having the dinner. I'll get to have my warm cozy

feeling.

 

I have called everyone and told them. I said "I am having

Thanksgiving dinner. If you can come, good. If you can't

don't worry about it."

 

My MIL goes if I can comes what should I bring? I said

don't worry about bring anything, come or don't come.

She goes ok I'll have to ask BW about it. BW is hubbys

dad.