Judy Moist Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Good Morning everyone, had a rough weekend,, but that has gotten to be the usual around here... Dh's dementia has gotten worse.and he is really getting on my last nerve. When I came in from work on Saturday,, he told me" you know that money you have in the bank account, well I called the bank today and had your account closed, and the money moved into an account with my (his) name on it, so if you need any money, you will have take me to the bank to get it for you....YEAH RIGHT!!!!! First of all, he doesn't even know which bank I use, he doesn't have any access to my bank account #, and all of my accounts have been red flagged, because someone in Arkansas, had gotten hold of my social security number and opened an account there and was writing bad checks,,, so if any one other than myself had attempted to close my accounts, experian or transunion would have contacted me,,,pronto!! and lastly, you can't open an account over the phone, and also he can't close my account without me being there and signing the papers... I told him he was such a fool, it was absolutely pathetic......I told him, he is the one who signed the papers to have me be the payee on his social security account,so if he got down and couldn't handle the finances, I could do it all... now he isn't happy about it.. and his stupid crazy aunt is trying to tell everybody that I am keeping things from him.. your dang right I am,,, I have 3 kids to raise... I have to have money to do it....dh asked where all his money was going to.. First of all it isn't his money, what I have now is my paycheck, my income tax check and the check the 3 boys draws off social security... his disability hadn't started rolling in yet....I told him, well let's see, you have a roof over your head,,,$600, your electricity is still on $300, you have your precious cable tv,,$135.00, I just paid income taxes that he and his ex wife owed,, $1500.00, Shoot I just don't know where all the money has gone too,, OH yeah also, the car has a full tank, the car is uptodate on its maintenance, and we have food in our pantry and on our table, and the telephone.. I just don'[t know where the money could be going....I guess I spent way too much because I bought me 2 new outfits over the past 2 weeks.... I work in public, I can't be wearing the same old faded dreary clothes that I wear around the house.. it also upset him because I was wearign cologne.. well duh,, my job requires me and the assembler to practically crawl all over each other,every now and again..(when we have to get into cramped spaces to tie down displays or put up or put together certain displays,, it is like we are playing that old game twister some times.. and of course I don't want to stink!!! I mean that is just being human.... I finally had to tell dh's aunt to back off, she is telling me how I need to prepare the funeral service, how I need to take care of my home, what I need to do for dh, how I need to raise my kids, and I have just had enough,, dh's illness and the thought of his death isn't what is getting me down, it is her, and her making me feel like I am inadequate at everything I do, that is causing me to have a nervous breakdown,, she calls 5 to 6 times a day, the same thing over and over again. She is going nuts right now, I turned my phone off yesterday and would not accept any of her calls.. I told her she could call her neice and find out what she wants to know....then hung up and turned the phone off all day.. rude yes,,, do I care Link to comment
thesimplelife Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Wow unikemom, you have a plate full. Here's a BIG Link to comment
Linda Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 you are in my prayers daily... don't let them drive you nuts... remember we love you here and really care... Link to comment
nosleepinghere Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 As a newcomer your post caught my attention. Hope you don’t mind if I read over some old threads to get the full picture (yes all the way back to nascarmm4 Link to comment
Bamboo Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Granny, for not knowing Unikemom, you sure know her. Everything you said about her is true. Unike, I'll offer you a here and check your pm's. Link to comment
Judy Moist Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 Ok people, this is the second Link to comment
Judy Moist Posted March 15, 2006 Author Share Posted March 15, 2006 PS< Granny:0fftopic Link to comment
nosleepinghere Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I bet Benjamin Franklin’s neighbors thought he was nuts flying a kite in the middle of a thunderstorm! Now we’re sure glad someone figured out how to harness electricity for our houses, machinery, etc. That nut was responsible for the beginning of our entire technology growth. I’m terrible with history and science so couldn’t think of other names of people who invented things (Bell did the phone right?). Anyway, trial and error is how things are learned and you just keep on doing it. As for the aunt, she is probably just as worried and scared about the future as you and trying to help (I hope). It is your money, home, and life not theirs, to decide how to manage. You are the one responsible for those three children. Hang in there, you are doing fine and making good decisions. Continue to walk in love as much as you can. I’m very sorry things have to be so rough for you now but remember… these things too shall pass. As for DH. You have done everything you can. He has refused to follow professional’s advice or made any effort to take some responsibility for his own health. In the end it is his choice. They have to want it for themself. Would you mind if we started a prayer in Streams in the Desert, that God would give him comfort, peace, and understanding “according to His will”. It must be so hard for all of you when his mind has been affected by illness and he lashes out at those who love him most and who are doing their best with what knowledge and resources they have. Hope ‘ole Granny hasn’t been too bossy. That is one of my downfalls. Link to comment
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