Cat Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 An old farmer and his wife were leaning against the fence of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his head. "Gee, Martha," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A city slicker moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks. "That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied. A week later the city slicker was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him. "Yeah," the city slicker replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the city slicker, "I think I planted that last batch too close together." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged down and stuck. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving two draft horses before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted, and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looked around at the fields incredulously and asked the farmer, "When do you have time to plow your land? At night?" "No," the young farmer replied. "Night is when I refill the water in the hole." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A guy was driving in the country when he passed a farmhouse, and a cat ran out in front of him. Before he could react, *splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around, and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the farmer's wife came to the door, he said, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off." "How do you know it was our cat?" she asked. "Could you describe it? What does it look like?" The man said "It looks like this," and he flopped down on the ground, splayed his limbs out, stuck out his tongue, and lay still. "Oh, no, you horrible man!" she cried. "I meant, what did it look like BEFORE you hit it?" At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed, "Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Link to comment
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