mistylady Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing a dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave underarms and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing a dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your [azz]. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something very wrong with you. Have a great day! And, 'woo-woo' !!! Link to comment
8thsinner Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Made me laugh. Now try writing the same thing for woodland hiking........ Link to comment
Amishway Homesteaders Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Laughed so hard I had to go take a shower Link to comment
Bethany_Luebbers Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 That was so true! Especially the part where the guy blows his nose and lets the water rinse it off!!! My husband does that all the time!!! Thanks for the laugh! Link to comment
Ogre Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Well, I took your advice and went "woo woo" but she just laughed ;-) Ogre Link to comment
Panic_Its_Fun Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Haha!! I'd really laugh if a man of mine went Link to comment
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