I don't get it...

[Guest Guest]

Why some days just seem to be *another day* and why others feel so touchy.

Why is it that sometimes we're more sensitive than others? I dunno, but I feel blue and am near tears and I hate that feeling.

I think part of it for me is that there are times I have to look back at the recent past and address some issues, which bring a flood of emotions. I start to feel scared cause it's just not been enough time since I started getting back on my feet.

I just keep telling myself that unfortunately some things need time.

Not to worry, I'll probably be in a hysterical mood tomorrow.

*smile*

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P.S. As a side note, I had to come back and edit this post cause after I posted it I noticed that the only three people creating posts in this forum were me, Cookie and Cat...lots have responded but it appears we've got a head start on waaa waaa waaa'ing...LOL! (((((((cookie)))))) ((((((cat))))))

[This message has been edited by Darlene (edited August 09, 2002).]

[Darlene]

Dar-it could be cause it kinda duplicates "From the Heart" (or whatever the name of the other forum is )

Maybe a little bit of clarification might be in order???

Edited: Ok- I went back and found out the "proper" name of the aforementioned forum - "Where the Heart Is."]

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"Sooner or later everyone quotes their mother."

[This message has been edited by Midnightmom (edited August 09, 2002).]

[Auntmeanie]

The chica Gun Club and Wahhhhh society.

Hmmm sometimes it seems like there's so many issues that it will be overwhelming. Also, I think we tend to *dwell* on things, nudging and pouring over and bothering them like a bad tooth with your tongue. We just can't leave things alone.

Is there some cosmic law that says you must address these issues this minute? If it's some past action you regret, well..that's it..it passed. The trick will be to learn from it and go on. Sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest part.

Or as my Aunt says, what will it mean in a year? Will anyone remember it in 5 years? The to **** with it.

A good WAHHH cry your heart out is healthy sometimes. Go someplace, have a true pity why-me-lord party and free up some of that emotion. Like a volcano sometimes you just have to let go. It literally is soul releasing. You'll feel more capable of pulling yourself together afterwards. Just promise not to look at your puffy face in the mirror afterwards.

just concentrate on the here and now and what your doing today, buddy.

Hugs,

Grande Poobah of Wahhhhhh

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[logcabinmama]

We all have days we feel like crying all day and then we have days that we have no desire to cry.

((((Darlene))))

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[twilap]

(((((Darlene)))))))

You basically took the words out of my mouth about how I have been feeling lately. I told my husband a couple days ago that I think this year has finally hit me. My emotions are going crazy. Sometimes when things just start to settle down is when the emotions have a chance to catch up, because when we are going through things we are trying to persevere, be tough, do the things that need to be done, etc. Afterwards, we have a chance to really "feel" what we have been through. At least this is how it works for me. I usually "pay" later, because I am too busy to deal with my emotions at the time.

We will get through this time as well! Hang in there! You are in my prayers!

[Guest Guest]

I have days when I do nothing but cry cry cry. Than I have days that are ok. I think these past two years have been rough on me but I know things will be ok. Like the song says "Tomorrow's another day and I'm thirsty anyway."

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[Guest Guest]

Darlene, it's your turn to post now because I did all the "pity party posting" the last three years. See how long it takes to get through stuff sometimes? Go ahead and post. It's time for some of us to listen.

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Pray for Peace

[Guest Guest]

I know what you all mean too. I think part of it is that so many bad things are happening in the world right now, and the times are so uncertain. I have those days where I cry, sometimes for an identifiable reason and others times for no reason. Then I know it's time to take a break from watching and reading the news, and get lost in a fun novel, or dh's big strong arms.

[Auntmeanie]

Okay Deblyn and Frannie and all,

Well, what happened lately to make you feel less-then-glued? If it will bring up bad memories, refrain, but will it help Darlene realize shes average? Go for it!

I personally think it's normal to have small bouts of the blues...

but that's me, our wild cookie

Hugs to all

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[logcabinmama]

Ok, one thing that makes me feel so down at times is the fact that all three of our kids live miles away from us. Therefore, we don't get to see them much.

Two of the three are in TX. I/we haven't seen our #one DS for over two years now. Our DD brought up 3 of his kids with her in June when she came, but I miss having all of my family around.

We haven't see our # 2 DS since June and they are about 2 hours away. Therefore, it is as easy for us to go as for them to come here. We just haven't taken the time to go. This means that we haven't seen them or the 3 grandsons since June.

But, on a happier note, we will be babysetting with the two younger boys from the 13th of Aug. until the 1st of Sept.

Another thing that makes me get depressed is the fact that we have lots of bills and I don't work out of the house. We live a distance from town, and I just don't like to drive any more than I have to and don't drive on ice at all. I would like to find something/someway to make money at home.

You see, every other month, I have a pace maker check and each time, it costs close to $150.00.

Now, when I get to feeling depressed, I just say, 'Ok, God, it is you and me, please help me to get over this.' Then I get up and start to do something different than what I had been doing.

Also, at times I start thinking about people who are worse off than we are. People with a large family and miminum wage or on welfare.

Ok, is this waht you wanted to hear? Who is going next?

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[This message has been edited by Snowmom (edited August 11, 2002).]

[Guest Guest]

I'll do a quickie... sometimes just the co-pay on my meds is overwhelming. It's about $700 a month. I think of all the things the kids could be doing with that money once they're on their own. I feel so guilty. But then, there's a reason for everything. And God knows what's going on. So, I try to put it out of my mind. Put on the rocking oldies and dance in the kitchen with the dogs. LOL

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Pray for Peace

[gardnmom]

I went through this kind of thing when I was working outside my home and attempting to keep up at home with 3 children. I gave my 2 weeks notice and quit my job, after which I made a Drs appointment and found out I was suffering from "nervous exhaustion" couldn't sleep, would cry over nothing that I was aware of and couldn't stop.

Dr said he would have told me to quit my job if I hadn't already done so.

I think sometimes we want to do so much more than we are capable of and pay for it, big time.

I don't know if you can relate to any of this, Darlene, but I submit it for consideration.

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[Darlene]

OK-all you caring sensitive people have made me feel like a big bad ogre.

[Guest Guest]

I definately have jags of crying. My poor DH knows he just has to ride them out and be my shoulder to cry on. I think a lot of it is just a female reality. I'm sure there are women out there who would disagree with me, but I think some of us are just affected by the hormonal fluctuations more. The rest of it is just stress amd being overwhelmed with things on a particular day. Sometimes it feels lioke life conspires to gang up on us all at once and it's more than we can deal with at that moment. On another day we might be in a better state to handle things with grace.

I cope by calling my friends or my mom and talking until I feel better. I am blessed with one friend I can literally talk about anything with and feel understood and accepted. She is like a sister to me.

I also have found doing something little just for me like buying and reading a book or renting a chick flick can make me feel better.

I Hope today is looking brighter{{{{Darlene}}}}}

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[twilap]

This year has been a tough one for my hubby and I...not in our relationship but things within our families.

First, my hubby's mom was in the hospital beginning in January awaiting a heart transplant. We really thought we were going to lose her and were preparing for that when God answered our prayers for a new heart for her. She received it March 4. I stayed down at the hospital with her for several days and came home on March 7 in the evening. Then the most "haunting" day of my life was March 8. I received a call from my Grandma who went to check on my mom. She called to tell me my mom had passed out and was cold. She had called the paramedics. I ran out of the house and drove as fast as I could to get there, but on the way I called back and was told my mom had died. It was the most horrible day I have ever had. I had to call and tell my dad over the phone (he is a truck driver) and my brother. None of the three of them had talked to me in a year....that's a long story! Since then, I have taken over my dad's personal finances, business finances and caring for the home including going through all my mom's stuff. I am still not finished...they have a big house and she had tons of stuff and wasn't so good at housekeeping. Well, March 20 my husband had a car accident and totalled our car. Praise God he survived the accident with only a concussion, scrapes, bruises and soreness.

Then we thought we had a break for a while but on May 31 two hours after I visited my Great Aunt she passed away. My Grandma and I had to rush back over and sit with her body for 2 hours for the coroner. Then there was a feud among family members right after her death that I was the mediator for...how exhausting! I hate conflict!!!!!

We are still trying to be the go-between to keep peace.

July my favorite uncle passed away. He was the one that when I was a kid and an adult that I would ask advice from, listen to, and just learn from. I will miss him greatly!!!

So, after being sick for 16 days...I haven't quite recovered. Now my emotions have caught up with me. I am tired all the time and not sleeping too well. There has been a lot of loss in our life....it's been bittersweet. All our loved one's were christians and so we rejoice they are with the Lord, but we miss them.

So, please do not think I am asking for pity here. I know that this is a season in life. I just wanted to share that things do pile up sometimes and when things slow down a bit, I think emotions catch up with us. I feel bad because right now I don't feel like I have much to offer people and am too tired to help others. I feel so selfish! So, this adds to my emotions. Oh well....this too shall pass!!!!

So, thanks for letting me "vent" my feelings here and forgive me if it sounded too much like a downer. I like to be uplifting to others and not bring them down.

[gardnmom]

(((((((((Deblyn))))))))))))

Wish there were something comforting for me to say. Strong shoulders here though.

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[Auntmeanie]

Hey! We made a deal...NO personal flogging for revealing coping mechanisms or berating ourselves for our personal troubles.I know in my heart that you cannot say that speaking troubles out here didn't make you feel better.(Now if we could only lure our Darlene to speak ).

midnightmom, I have no idea what made you say what you did but what gives? what in the world would make us think you an ogre? You know your much beloved.

I think we're much better suited to rescuing each other then admitting our foibles. *smile*

None of us wants to be a burden yet we want to feel justified that our troubles are real and viable. that simple balance marks us as *clan* to each other.

I do think the blues can overwhelm us on some days, the trick is what we do to COPE.

what we share to help each other.

okay

hokey cookie

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[Guest Guest]

Yes, Lois, I think that's a huge part of it, what you were talking about...

I know that for as far back as I can remember, I've had the ability to carry a heavy load of responsibility. My energy was limitless and my determination even stronger.

And then life stepped in and I tried to hang on far longer than I should have, and in the end I made a mess of everything.

And just as I used to go 800 miles per hours, I also crashed at that same speed and it was really scarey.

The intricacies of a crash like that are not necessarily things we are educated about, they tend to just happen and we're overwhelmed by it all. In the end, at least for me, it truly is just a *time* thing. At least I've not lost my *hope for a better tomorrow*.

And maybe, in time, I'll figure out what else I need to do to heal the areas that need healing.

You happy now Cookie? I've spilled enough for today...LOL

*smile*

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[logcabinmama]

(((((Deblyn))))

We are all here for you whenever you need us.

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[twilap]

Thank you for your support!!! I appreciate that you just let me express my feelings. God is good...all the time!!! He will get me through!

[Auntmeanie]

Deblyn!!! ACK!!!!!!!!!

I forgot to put my major hugs for you!!

(darn it, I hate when I get on a mission and forgot the *real stuff*)

The warmest of hugs and handing you a cafe con leche.

cookie

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[Auntmeanie]

ACTUALLY

NO Darlene, I'm not happy, if FACT....I've been trying to reach you, even through the danged webmaster. So no, my friend, I'm not happy.

I'd love to talk to you, which is no little thing.I'm somewhat personally shy actually.

(Ohhh Deblyn stop looking shocked.)

I leave Thursday night to see my sister, please read your webmaster mail!!!

or dang it all, this IS your website! Break open my stuff and reply in my email! SHEESH!!!

Aye dios mio!!!

chagrined cookie

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[Auntmeanie]

In mornings light,

I shouldn't have gotten distressed...

Sorry gang,

I'm going to see my little sister and the newest member of the cookie family..

if I'm still welcome back, I'll see you next week.

cookie

[Guest Guest]

Sorry Cookie, I was out of town a few days.

I've sent you an email so you know how to get in touch with me.

(((((((cookie)))))))

Have a wonderful time at your little sisters. We'll miss ya while you're gone!

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[Guest Guest]

awwwwwwww...

(((((((westbrook)))))))

That is so sweet...

*smile*

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