Dee Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 My Dear SIL sent this to me and how true it is: LOL Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor...and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction? I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to a question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective. So...considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats? My mother would walk in a with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And G-d help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole d@mn summer. Inspectors my a**...You want the job done? Call my mother Quote Link to comment
Lois Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 Your mother sounds alot like my Great-Grandma..... we learned to do the willow switch to the legs dance real fast.... and lord help us if we were caught in a fib... she washed our mouths out with soap and made us tell everyone that we had lied. She was a firm believer that public humiliation was a great deterant to breaking the 10 commandments. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 ROFL.......that fits my Mom to a T! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 Ummm, Reci? Do you know my Mom??? Nah...she's sweet! My sister (who is a mother) on the other hand...! Quote Link to comment
gardnmom Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 Sounds about right.....my Mom is the sweetest lady in the world..... until you cross her "line in the sand" then look out!! Quote Link to comment
Deblyn Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 I think I am turning into my mother.................. sigh......! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 Lowie, what a nice compliment to your Mom! Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Isn't it strange that as soon as we sweet young things get married and have children, through no choice of our own , we turn into your most hated drill sargent. Quote Link to comment
Dee Posted March 27, 2003 Author Share Posted March 27, 2003 Hey Dee! LOL Seems like Mr. Homer copied it...LOL Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 How funny reci, I hadn't read it here previously. Better check a little closer next time I guess. Quote Link to comment
Guest Guest Posted March 28, 2003 Share Posted March 28, 2003 It was still funny the second time! Quote Link to comment
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