Are you glad your a Man/Woman?

[ROBIE]

I'm Glad I'm A Man

 

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.

I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese

I don't (meany) to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts

I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west

I don't get wasted after only 2 beers

and when I do drink I don't end up in tears.

I won't spend hours deciding what to wear,

I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair

and I don't go around checking my reflection

in everything shiny from every direction.

I don't whine in public and make us leave early

then when you ask "why", get all bitter and surly.

 

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing

I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.

I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back

I don't carry our differences into the sack.

I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you

or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.

I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too

I know what the time is and I know what to do.

 

And I honestly think its a privilege for me

to have these two....yeah, those two... and stand when I pee

I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball

It's more fun than dealing with women after all

I won't cry if you figure out it's not going to work

I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.

Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure

I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.

 

Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you see

I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery

I don't get all bitchy every 28 days

I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise

I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true

I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!

 

I'm Glad I'm A Woman

 

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am

I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam (but I love spam!!)

I don't brag to my buddies about my erections

I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions

I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown

and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!

 

I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt

my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut

and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch

or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch

I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind

I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!

 

I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing

I don't have body hair like shag carpeting

It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back

When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack

And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb

I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome

Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side

I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!

 

And I honestly think its a privilege for me

to have these two boobs and squat when I pee

I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball

I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal

I won't tell you my wife just does not understand

stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band

or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep

then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

 

Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see

you can forget all about that old penis envy

I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks

join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my...... that...

I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true

I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!

 

 

 

 

 

Robie

[Amishway Homesteaders]

.......nice!

[S.K.]

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