Peek inside an Amish reunion...

[Guest Guest]

I said I'd write about it. This one has been hard to write about, and I've had less time. But I finished it this morning (ACKK, it's *long*!!), so here it is:

 

I’ve been arranging the family reunion on my Dad’s side of the family for years. It’s what we called the “Cousin Reunion” originally, because the family had another one for the extended family: second cousin-twice-removed kind of relatives. Parliamentary-type meeting with minutes, pass-the-hat for donations that barely covered cost… it was stuffy and boring to most of us, so one of my cousins started ours.

 

We called it the cousin reunion because it was for my grandparents’ (who by then were gone) children and all of us who were their children. (One of the funny things that taught my DH about my family was that he thought if we only invited as far out as cousins to our wedding, it would be “small”. He had 2 cousins, I have over 50!) We held it every other year, opposite the traditional reunion, which eventually died out.

 

Of course the main event has always been the carry-in dinner, and I have to admit I come from a family of *very* good cooks! (Unfortunately, along with that comes the infamous family “stumps” which is a reference to good, sturdy, usually *thick* legs.) We have excellent food, and then there’s the few who try to dazzle with highly decorated goodies (and usually less flavor).

 

It started out light-hearted and fun, with a pass-the-hat that quickly turned into a “white elephant” auction. (“White elephant” = something you have at home that you really don’t want) Since all items were wrapped, we never knew what we were bidding on until it was bought. And some of the things we really had to guess at what they were! The auction grew into a more refined sale with better items as time went on, with the exception of one aunt who continued to deliberately bring dumb things. (We’d all try to see which packages she brought so we’d avoid those!)

 

We didn’t take minutes, from the start. When I started arranging it, I wrote up a sunshiny letter highlighting the past reunion and encouraging them to come. That pretty much served as minutes, and everyone received one. Many people commented that just the letter made them want to come join the fun.

 

With about half of us still being Amish, we can’t do some of the traditional family reunion things, like huge family pictures or family t-shirts. So I’ve been trying to drum up a recipe book, and saved as much of the proceeds as possible towards that goal. Unfortunately, it hasn’t happened yet, but I haven’t given up!

 

I remember how boring it is for the young ones, so I started filling “goodie bags” for them to take home. I made sure to have special stuffed animals for ages 2 and under, with safely embroidered eyes & noses. Then I made up 50 bags with small toys from “The Oriental Trading Company” ( http://www.orientaltrading.com/otcweb/appl...?namespace=main ) and candy from Sam’s Club. I tried to get pencils, erasers, pencil sharpeners, little pads of paper, etc. as more useful things, and then added little jumping frogs, yo-yos, or other little things that were kind of old-fashioned toys.

 

They were a big hit with the youngsters, and it was a fun way to see who’s children were what ages. I called the under-one-year, whose parents brought them up, then the two-and-under, and then each age by year. The first time, I hesitated after age 13, because I figured they’d be too “sophisticated” for such silliness. Silly *me*! Several asked, “What about me?”, so I continued up to 21!!

 

We still had bags left over, so I impulsively carried bags over to the oldest of our relatives, and then the chuckles really started. They loved it, and took such delight in the candies and little things! It became a tradition that the oldest get the leftover bags.

 

We tried a piñata for the kids once, but my nephew hit it so hard that he broke the stick, which flew out and nearly hit someone, so we haven’t done that again.

 

This year I found magnets at Oriental Tr. Co. that were to be assembled into a pansy, so I bought them to keep the children occupied during the visiting time. I explained to all of them that their great-grandma always had pansies in her flowerbed, and that it was one of her favorite flowers. So they took home a small remembrance of her.

 

After the aunt with the poor taste passed on, we started having people donate craft-type item that they made. Those we did not wrap, but left open for everyone to understand what a treasure they were buying. We had a hand-painted saw blade to hang as a decoration, crocheted tablecloths, crafted angels, afghans, and more. Some truly unique, wonderful things passed on through the family that way.

 

One of my aunts got one of the new embroidering sewing machines, so she created quilt blocks to auction. They were beautiful, and brought good money.

 

The next year, she created a wall hanging “tree”, with the names of Grandma, Grandpa, and the aunts & uncles embroidered on it. She included the date of the reunion, and everyone there signed their names around the tree as a record of who was there. The next time, she made pillows using pictures of the family homestead.

 

This year she decided to get really ambitious. No pictures of people could be used, so she asked everyone to send or let her take pictures of their houses. She also used pictures of the old barn of the homestead, which burned in 1974, pictures of the new barn, and horses and buggies. She made a queen size quilt/wallhanging including the pictures, and had some of my cousins quilt it (for free).

 

Then she found pictures of the two schoolhouses Dad’s family attended, and created a wallhanging from those, also quilted. The colors were nice and they were both wonderful pieces.

 

The problem came in when she decided she’d put too much money into both projects, and someone told her she should ask her costs of creating them out of the donated price of the quilt and wallhanging. Just the true costs would have been fine - all the quilting was donated - so it would’ve been a nice amount.

 

But the quilt was auctioned off at $1,000 and the wallhanging at $525, and she insisted on a check for $1,300 (after the reunion, so others don’t know yet). So everyone at the reunion thinks that our reunion account holds at least $2000 total, and she’s taken back most of it.

 

To protect myself and the cousin who will be taking it over in the future, I’ll have to write another reunion letter and explain everything, counting out the pennies so everyone knows the exact amounts we have.

 

The hardest part of this is that this is the aunt who coyly raised suspicions about my honesty a couple of years ago by suggesting that I wasn’t telling the account totals for my own reasons (and she was one of the few who knew the totals and why I’d kept it low-key). Her comments fell short of accusations, but suggested that I was taking money from the account. And she only hinted these ideas to the cousin who is a terrible gossip and jumps to conclusions.

 

You see, I’d had a good response initially about the family cookbook, but then the money wasn’t there. So I’d scrimped and saved every penny I could for the reunion, against the day we could publish a cookbook. But the “poor taste” aunt (remember her??) figured we were getting *hundreds* of dollars in the account and thought we should donate that money to HER favorite causes! So I’d kept it kind of quiet after that.

 

My aunt has always been one of those people who can’t rest unless she’s got something going, and she got mad at me for backing away from her after another family tiff she created. I guess making me look bad was a good way to get even. But I know I never took money, and my cousin who is co-signer on the account knows.

 

My DH is really glad someone else will be taking over the responsibility of the reunion. The last few years have been a real chore, instead of the joy it once was. I wanted to do it for my Dad’s family, and after he passed away, in remembrance of him. But it is time to let it go on.

 

After this reunion, after he took the kids home and we stayed to clean up, my dear husband drove me to the cemetery where Dad is buried, just to allow me a few moments to reflect on Dad’s life and legacy. It was a sweet time of remembrance.

[Deblyn]

I enjoyed that little glimpse into your life there Cat. Shame about the relatives; I suspect most families have them, but you seem to have more than your fair share there, girl! I read today that one good friend can be worth 50 relatives - maybe that is right in a way. I didn't know about the no photographs of people with the Amish, so I've learnt that today.

Many thanks again.

Sarah

[gardnmom]

We all do the best we can, and we know that come judgement day it will become common knowledge for all.

Blessings Cat and thank you for the peek into your family. Most families have one or two that do whatever it takes to seem to be more important than others.

(((Cat)))

[Homesteader]

Sigh..my Dad's side of the family has about 1 or 2 who AREN'T like that, Lois. I guess that's why we've only had one reunion. Of course hardly anyone went to it. So sad when people act so immaturely.

[Guest Guest]

Wow...

 

Thank you for sharing this Cat...it was very nice to get a *glimpse* into your family and ideas you've used.

 

((((((((((cat)))))))))

[Guest Guest]

Speaking of sharing Cat, do you know where I can get some road apples next spring. The tomato plants you gave me didn't get too tall this year. I think the newly worked soil is barren of fertility.

[Guest Guest]

Really easy...

 

You know all those buggies you see on the roads??

 

Just follow one until it ummmm... "makes apples", then stop the car & shovel them up!

 

(It helps if you have a pickup truck, a *big* bucket, and a scoop shovel!!

[logcabinmama]

Thank you for sharing your reunions with us.