How to find the daddy your mom never knew?

[kaseyb (Supermom!)]

Sadly, my mother was born out-of-wedlock back in the 30s and her mother never told her who her real father was. Does anyone know where I could look to find out? None of the relatives seem to know.

 

I'd like to know for obvious reasons, one of which is to see if there are any genetic problems that might affect my children or me down the road.

 

I have not checked my mom's birth certificate yet. Where would I call to get that information? And would they even give it to me? (My mom is deceased now.)

 

I have always assumed that her father's name is not on the birth certificate since it's been such a hush-hush issue. Sheesh. I hope his last name wasn't Dillinger.....

 

 

[Freetobeme]

If you know when and where she was born and her mom's name that should be enough to get a copy of the birth certificate. Contact the vital records department for the state and they should have a form for you to fill out. You should be able to get the information as a family member.

[redhenfarm]

Don't be so sure that nobody knew. I was supposed to be the "best kept secret" but all Mom's sibs knew she had a child but never talked about it. My father was not named on my birth certificate but when I met my birth Mom she told me who he was. Then last year a cousin came to meet me and thought she was bringing the news about who my father was. So sometimes they know, they just feel disloyal telling what they know.

In my state adoption records were opened a few years ago but there is also an Adoptive Rights organization in my state where people will help you do the search. I paid a fee and she had the info within a half an hour. She was allowed to call my birth mother and ask if she agreed to be in contact with me, but if she declined that was the last chance so I had to think of any questions I would like answered in case they were willing to just answer questions. I am really glad I got the information and the chance to meet birth family members. My mother had diabetes so I was careful to be checked and when I was diagnosed I was just into the lowest level so I've been able to control it with diet and exercise.

Good luck.

 

[logcabinmama]

Teaberry, if you are close to the town where your mother died, go to the court house there and ask for a copy of her death certificate. It may cost up to 20 or 25 dollars, but it also may have some info on it, like where she was born. From there, maybe you could find a bit more. Do you have a birth certificate, check a bit deeper. It may be some doing, but keep checking. If you have relatives who just might know anything, ask them. Let them know you are concerned because of health issues. Could you have a problem with some type of heart problem, diabetes, or other problmes because it might be in your dad's family.

 

Like Peace said, someone just may know more than they are telling.

 

Then of course, you could go to the state of her birth on line and do a search there, putting a query in and just maybe someone might know more in there too. It could say something like. "Looking for my real grandfather, my mother was_____ she died ____ and she was born___ in ___ " Something like that, add what you want to know and even let them know why you are looking. I mean, it is nice to know if you are at risk for medical problmes.

 

I hope this has helped you.

 

 

 

[kaseyb (Supermom!)]

Thanks for the useful and great ideas, gals! Now I have some direction..... I bet that was an incredible moment.

[Leia]

Hi teaberry,

 

This is how I found out my birthfamily's name:in the birth announcements in the local paper! If they were listed, you have a really good chance at getting ahold of a name. And, as someone said before, a family *secret* isn't always an unknown, just no one is telling what they know.

 

As long as oyu have your mom's vital info, you can get a copy of her birth certificate. You should be able to get it at the health dept of the county she was born in.

 

Good luck to you! It's frustrating and exciting at the same time, looking for this info.

 

 

Shawna