some neat quotes i found

[Pixie]

-- Buckle up . . . it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car

 

 

I dont have PMS... Im always a b*tch!

 

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

 

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or during a game of “who can do the best fake heart attack.”

 

I am free of all prejudices, I hate everyone equally.

 

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish, and you’ll get rid of him all weekend.

 

A day without laughter, is a day wasted.

 

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years.

 

Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.

 

Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon, and wise too late.

 

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

 

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.

 

Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

 

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. .....

 

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?”

 

[Deb2of9]

Thank you for sharing. I like those. I have heard some of them but not all of them before.

[Jewlzm]

That last one got me. LOL! Thanks for sharing.

[Pixie]

heres one i saw on a bumper sticker today

 

"dont steal, the government doesn't like competition"