How come................

[Amishway Homesteaders]

If you ship something overseas by boat.............

it is called CAR-GO

and if you put it in a van or can and send it across the country it is called SHIP-MENT

WHAT??????????

[Pigzzilla]

Okay, I'll play.........................

 

Why do we PARK in the DRIVEWAY

 

and DRIVE on a PARKWAY?????????

 

pigz

[Amishway Homesteaders]

Okay, I'll play.........................

 

Why do we PARK in the DRIVEWAY

 

and DRIVE on a PARKWAY?????????

 

pigz

 

 

LOL

[Amishway Homesteaders]

..and I don't know whether I can weather the weather?

[ROBIE]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

 

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

 

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

 

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

 

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

 

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

 

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

 

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

 

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

 

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

 

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

 

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

 

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

 

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

 

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

 

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

 

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

 

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

 

20 Why is bra singular and panties plural?

 

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you

know the batteries are dead?

 

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

 

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

 

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

 

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

 

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree

and eat candy out of your socks?

 

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

I dunno, why do we?

 

Robie

 

 

[Amishway Homesteaders]

Thanks Robie..................

you made my night!

NOW I can go off to sleep.

[Amishway Homesteaders]

OK Robie - here are some for you

 

Reasons Why the English Language is Hard to Learn

· The bandage was wound around the wound.

 

· The farm was used to produce produce.

 

· The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

 

· He could lead if he would get the lead out.

 

· The soldier decided to desert his desert in the desert.

 

· Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

 

· A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

 

· When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

 

· I did not object to the object.

 

· There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

 

· They were too close to the door to close it.

 

· The buck does funny things when the does are present.

 

· A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

 

· To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

 

· The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

 

· After a number of injections my jaw got number.

 

· Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

 

· I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

 

· How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

 

 

 

[ROBIE]

Thanks Michael, those were good!

 

Robie

[Jingles]

How come we wash the bath tub...

just to put a dirty kid in it?

 

Why do we get "On" the plane...

when we get "In" them?

[Amishway Homesteaders]

Thanks Michael, those were good!

 

Robie

 

got that list in a homemade card once.

AND some of them are hard to read because your mouth tries to say it one way but it is the other way?

Ya know?

[GirlNextDoor]

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

 

If a lawyer can be disbarred and clergymen defrocked, can electricians be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, & tree surgeons disembarked?

 

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

 

Why is brassiere plural & panties single?

 

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but, publishers aren't afraid to file chapter 11?

 

If a word in the dictionary is misspelled how would we even know?

 

Why is it that writers write, but, grocers don't groce & hammers don't ham?

 

Why do "slow up" & "slow down" mean the same thing?

 

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

 

Why do "fat chance" & "slim chance" mean the same thing?

 

If humans evolved from monkeys & apes why do we still have monkeys & apes?

 

How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another?

 

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

Why don't ou ever see the headline, "Psychic wins lottery"?

 

Why is it called "lipstick" if ou can still move your lips?

 

When you lose your temper shouldn't that mean you got happy?

 

If someone is deceased, did the just come back from the dead?

 

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

 

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?

[Amishway Homesteaders]

WHY do they call it 'a wake'?

the person you are having it for IS NOT awake?

nor will they ever be again?

[Amishway Homesteaders]

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

 

STILL laughing over this one - LOL

 

even went to make breakfest and then.............

next to the ham...............

was...

CHEESE!

and I started again - LOL

 

Lori looks at me with the old ' what the heck?'