more computer fun

[ROBIE]

 

Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

 

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

 

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

 

7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.

 

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

 

5. The password is "Huntin".

 

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

 

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

 

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

 

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

 

 

Password selection rules

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471

 

In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately.

 

RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS:

 

1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password.

 

2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords.

 

3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation for a month. Example: MARCHBC is an invalid password. VWMARBC is an invalid password.

 

4. A password may not contain the numeric representation of a month. Therefore, a password containing any number except zero is invalid. Example: WKBH3LG is invalid because it contains the numeric representation for the month of March.

 

5. A password may not contain any words from any language. Thus, a password may not contain the letters A, or I, or sequences such as AT, ME, or TO because these are all words.

 

6. A password may not contain sequences of two or more characters which are adjacent to each other on a keyboard in a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal direction. Example: QWERTY is an invalid password. GHNLWT is an invalid password because G and H are horizontally adjacent to each other. HUKWVM is an invalid password because H and U are diagonally adjacent to each other.

 

7. A password may not contain the name of a person, place, or thing. Example: JOHNBOY is an invalid password.

 

Because of the complexity of the password selection rules, there is actually only one password which passes all the tests. To make the selection of this password simpler for the user, it will be distributed to all supervisors. All users are instructed to obtain this password from his or her supervisor and begin using it immediately.

 

 

Gender and computers

Gender and Computers

 

Top nine reasons computers must be male:

 

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
4. It is always necessary to have a backup.
5. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
6. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
7. The lights are on but nobody's home.
8. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
9. Size does matter

Top nine reasons computers must be female:

 

1. Picky, picky, picky.
2. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
3. Beauty is only shell deep.
4. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
5. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
6. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
7. Smalltalk is important.
8. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
9. They make you take the garbage out.

Robie:laughkick:

 

 

[Amishway Homesteaders]

#11 has to have something to do with "duck tape"

But IF they bought the 'camo' duck tape I bet they can't find it!

[Jeepers]

Redneck computer tech...