And just how did your Thanksgiving day go?

[ToAutumn]

This is an update to the question "Do any of you dread thanksgiving".

The time started off peacefully enough, my husband and I got home from the road Wed. morning at around 11 am, I stopped and got the last perishable items I needed to cook my part of the Thanksgiving feast from the grocery store. I cooked the rest of wed and early Thurs. morning, then we went to my dad and step mothers house. Now you have to understand, my step mother has worked hard for the 25 years they've been married to make a "FAMILY" of the four kids from my dad and my 2 step brothers, she has gathered all her"chicks" close to her just like a mother hen, including the 13 grandchildren and now their spouses and 2 great grandchildren. We have been that family really well until 2 years ago my sister-in-law pitched a fit and left in a huff with my brother and niece. They decided that they weren't going to speak to any of us ever again and haven't until febuary when my mother died. A week after she died I got my 2 brothers and sister together to have dinner and try to mend fences, he acted like everything was fineat the dinner, but I haven't heard a word from him or his family in responce since Febuary. I have honestly given up, I don't know what else to do to try and have my brother back in my life.

Well, today my niece in law( by his son) called and told us that my sister-in-law was starting her own Thanksgiving tradition and that she would be coming by later with the 2 great grandchildren ( which my parents love dearly) later in the evening. She came, with my niece in tow. From my nieces manner I could tell there was going to be trouble from the minute she walked in the door. She just seemed to be aching for a fight.

Now, I have to be honest, I am the hot head of the family. I am the one my step-mother told to keep my sister-in-law out of her house when my dad fell ill several years ago, before the big fuss. I am also the one the rest tell me that if someone needs their butt kicked, they know I would do it. I can be mean as a snake if needed, and if someone hurts my family I would willing put on my a** kicking boots and proceed to do so. I have stated and mean it when I say, I have RA and am in pain 24/7 the only change is the degree of pain, and it won't cause me any worse pain to put a fist in someone's mouth if they riled me the wrong way.But I have one promise I made to myself a lot of years ago, I will not start anything in my parents house, that is their domain and I will not cause problems for them between any of us kids and them. I almost broke that promise today.

At the end of opening presents, my niece and step mother stepped into the dinning room, I started feeling like there was something bad wrong after a few minutes and got up to go through to the kitchen, not really snooping, just to casually check on things. As I walked through the doorway my niece was standing OVER my step mom and screaming at the top of her lungs,"You all knew and did nothing to stop it!" my mom was crying as the niece stomped out the door heading for the cars. Mom ran after her crying that she wanted to know what she was talking about but stacey kept on going. Mom caught her by the arm and said she wanted to talk this out and stacey screamed there was nothing left to say, SHE was leaving. Then she headed back toward the house. I was right on my mom's heels,she grabbed stacey by the arm and said she needed to tell her something about grandpa but stacey said she was going in to tell the old fart good bye.I then grabbed her by the arm and tried to get her to stay out of the house and told her to calm down before she went anywhere near him. She screamed at me to let her go, she had had 2 knee surgeries and her daddy would come over and bless me out for pulling on her like that. I told her to let him come.Yes I was getting Very angry, my mom was crying for God's sake because this 19 year old brat had screamed at her and was continuing to scream instead of to talk.Anyway, stacey jerked any and ran back into the house where I was only able to cut her off from going into the room where my dad was, I caught myself balling up my fist to hit her when I remembered my promise.The feeling was so strong I was seeing red, my poor mom was standing there beside stacey crying, begging her to listen and this kid kept screaming at her to shut up, in my mom's house! I didn't hit her tho. Oh, how I wanted to dragg her out of that house by her hair and whip her butt all over the back yard.....but I didn't. She ran into the bathroom and slammed and locked the door. mom waited outside the door until she came out and told her to leave, another sister-in-law and my sister took dad to his bedroom where she couldn't bother him. I went outside to get some cooling down time and smoke a cigarette. They all four left about 5 minutes later.

My poor mom cried for 2 hours after they left, nothing any of us said helped to calm her down, her heart was broken again over one part of her "flock" being estranged from the nest. We finally got her to take a valium and drink a cup of hot tea and got her to stop crying,when we left at 9PM she said her head was starting to ease hurting so bad. It just breaks my heart and makes me mad as a hornet that my niece would show so little respect for her grandparents that she would show her [azz] at their house, effectively ruining the enjoyable time that everyone was having just being together.

I tried to call my brother at his home, his wife said he wasn't there and wouldn't be there for another 15 minutes. I told her what had happened (this was after I calmed down,honest,I didn't scream at her or accuse her of anything.) I stated the facts and how upset stacey had made mom, and how upset I was and I wanted her to call me back and let me know that stacey had gotten home ok. To please call me and let me know what had set her off, what was wrong. That was 4 hours ago. No phone call. Nothing. I feel pulled two ways, betrayed and angry, niether are going to do a thing to straighten this mess out.

I'm sorry this is so long but I really needed to vent and there's no where else I can vent to. Thanks for listening and I sure hope everyone else's thanksgiving was more pleasant than mine.

[Bamboo]

Karen, I'm sorry your day was so rough. We will always be here for you. I sure hope everything works out.

 

Our day was much calmer that expected. Because of the snow storm my family wasn't able to make it up for dinner so hubby and I had to polish off the meal by ourselves. We did do a pretty good job, but with a 16 pound turkey, a ham, 2 pumpkin pies, apple johnny, and all the other trimmings we really had a large job ahead of us... now we have left overs for a month

[Judy Moist]

Karen: I am so sorry about your Thanksgiving being ruined. If there is ever a next time, file a restraining order against the girl, and if she comes anywhere near your stepmom and your dad, let the law handle it. When dear brother (if I am correct this is who the girl belongs too??)

has too keep bailing the young thing out of jail. maybe he will get tired of it and do something about it then...personally I may have smacked a little respect into her tail.....

[Judy Moist]

Our day was quite, MIL and Step FIL and dh's aunt came to dinner. After they left we did a quick clean up and then flopped to watch tv.. and that was the day..

 

[rockncook]

Oh, Karen, I'm so sorry you had such a bad day. I wish I could offer more than that. It's terrible that people come just itching for a fight on a holiday.

[Linda]

Karen I too feel bad about your thanksgiving. Maybe a restraining order is a go idea.

 

I did get a grin out of the idea of the guys counting their money for bail for you.

 

here's hoping your other days be better and your parents.

[gardnmom]

 

((((Karen))))

[logcabinmama]

 

 

 

[Becca_Anne]

Karen, I hope things have improved since your last post. Did you find out what set your niece off? Or did you post that and I missed it?

 

We had a quiet day. I was off work and I got to cook for my family-DH, 13 yo DS, and 17 yo DS. It was a blessing to be able to just stay home. Our cupboards have been sparse for the last few months-literally. It was nice to have so much food. It was also DS 13th birthday.

 

 

mommafitz

[psarnes1]

Dearest Karen...... I wish I was closer. I am known as the hot head of my family also. I know what you mean about people just wanting to start something. But I have come to the conclusion they do this to gain attention. That does not make it easier. I pray that you have recieved the phone call and everything is going better. Please feel free to vent anytime you need to . We all need somewhere to go and vent so we all come here and just let it all out so others can come and help us through.

 

Smooches

[ToAutumn]

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I'm only home about once a week and truthfully, this is the first place I come to before I even check my e-mail! You ladies have me hooked on this site. I did get the phone call from my sister-in-law the next day. It wasn't what I hoped for, but considering my families history with my brother and his family I really should have expected it, but I didn't. My niece said I started the whole thing, that everyone was rude and standoffish to her and made her feel unwanted. My brother supposedly was so mad he went to put his boots on to come over there, but my "wonderful" niece begged him not to, so he didn't. Needless to say the conversation went to the dreggs from there, I was told that he just didn't want anything else to do with me, he didn't want the "stress or pain" I caused to him or his family anymore, that it wasn't worth it to him. Sister-in-law says she had tried to talk to him about how she thinks he needs his family as much as we need him but truethfully, she didn't sound too suincere. I've taken up the same stand that one of you posted, I'm not going to let it drive me crazy anymore. I told my SIL that he made his choice, let him live with it, and she could tell him that I would not be bothering them anymore, if he ever changed his mind he knows where I live. I've been here 11 years and am not moving anytime soon. It's just kinda sad that some families have to be fragmented like ours is. My hubby kept expecting me to be served with papers for assult or something from the little brat and I told him to quit worrying, if she wanted to play that game, I know how to take out a civil suit against her and make her pay throught her snotty nose for life, she'd really learn what it means to cause mentle distrss and emotional harm when she has to pay money out of her paycheck for a few years. My step-mother called and we talked also. She believes it was all a set-up. Replaying it in her mind she realized that the niece had come with the intent of starting a fight and I happened to walk in into the middle of it and tried to stop it. She has put it in the hands of God, I wish I could do that, but I'm one of those people who keep grabbing it back every now and then and worrying over it again. But I'm still praying over the whole citiuation. Thanks you all for listening and giving me feed back. I really do appreciate all of you and feel like you're a kind of extended family. Good luck to all for Christmas. My 21 year old son is going to be flying in from Fairchild AFB in Spokane, Wa. on the 22nd and staying until the 26th!!!! First time in 2 years he'll be home!! Going to be a GREAT Holiday! We're going to go to little truck stop down the road and invite any stranded truck drivers for holiday meal on Christmas day. We know how it is to be stranded away from friends and family at a place that only serves hamburgers, so we're going to share the cheer.

[Linda]

Karen that is wonderful of you guys to invite those people.

my grandpa, uncle, brother and nephew where all truck drivers and also have out on the road two brother in laws. So know a little about those not being able to be home for Christmas.

So I thank you for them.

[rockncook]

Me too, from my dad!