Update on the family

[logcabinmama]

Well, I've been trying to figure how to put this in a post. I haven't updated 'mom', our DS, Pooh and Tigger for a while. So, I thought I would take this time to do it now.

 

It must have been close to three or four weeks ago that I was told by Pooh that he was going to be an uncle. We all had heard the boys talking to 'mom', so we knew what he was talking about.

 

Seemingly, 'mom', had allowed her 16 year old boy to have his girl friend live with them. How long this had gone on I'm not sure. But, it was long enough that he has gotten her pregnant. She is a few months older than he is I guess. He just turned 17 at the end of Jan.

 

Now, seemingly this has all been going on and these two little boys have been down there and seen big 1/2 brother with his girlfriend, and maybe knew they were sleeping together, we don't know about that part though. We just don't know what all has been going on.

 

This is the same boy, that has told me in the past he had tried every kind of drug on the market except for one, I'm thinking it was heron, but can't remember for sure.

 

This is the mother who thinks she should have her boys all the time. Tell me, is this really good parenting??? This mother admitted to the police that she had called someone to get beer or such for her son and his friends. This is the same mother who had threatened in the past to kill all of them. This is the mother who tried to strangle Pooh. Yes, some of this happened a few years back, but the one about the beer was just last Aug.

 

Yes, she has changed she has told our DS, but, has she really, we really don't know. Dr. Phil says that you can forecast the future actions by what has been done in the past.

 

Now, our DS has met a women who he has told us he has fallen in love with, he met her in Oct. or Nov. They have been seeing each other only this short time now and Pooh and Tigger really like her, in fact, Tigger had suggested a ring for her for Christmas. He made the remark that 'you should marry her'. DS had only been seeing her a short time then.

 

If they do get married, and it sounds like it is going to happen in a few months, they will be moving out of town. It is a larger town and about 2 hours away from here, so we wouldn't see any of them much.

 

'Mom' is upset with this and has asked if it would be ok for her to move to the same town and get a job so she could see the boys more. (This would be the only way she would agree to let him move out of state with the boys and she would have to agree to let him in order for him to move.) Then they would do an every other week with 'mom' and every other week with Dad and stepmom deal. This is what DS had asked for when she was living it the town just north of us and she left. So, I'm just not sure what to think, but of course it is their lives not mine.

 

'Mom' has let it be known that the boys are NOT to call this new wife, 'Mom' ever. But, this new wife to be, has asked the boys to call her by her name. She has told our DS that she is not taking 'mom's' place, nor does she ever plan to do so. They have a mom and that is the one they are to call mom.

 

I have mixed feelings about all of this, but, I'm not sure if it is me being selfish or what. Me not wanting to let go again, or if it is I am afraid that DS may be hurt again, or that the boys may be hurt or just what. I know that there has been so much happen in the past 2 + years and that things will never be the same again, is this just me or is it what will really happen. DS and the boys have been with us almost 3 years so it will be a change for us again. I also think that if the 1/2 brother stays where he is now, it will be soooooo much better for everyone.

 

Also, 'mom' has in the past done nice things and when she gets her way, BOOM, then she does the bad things again. So, just what are her plans this time. Here again, am I just being paranoid??

 

We have met the new lady in our sons life and we do like her, she has been here a few times and she seems to be very nice, she cares deeply for the boys and she has said she loves our DS. So, that should not be a problem, but maybe in the back of my mind I'm doing a replay of the last one. Will this one work out or will it end in a divorce too.

 

I do know the boys think a lot of this new lady. When asked if it would be ok if dad marries her, they both said 'Yes'. that it all turns out for the best.

 

 

[Linda]

[WitchSpader]

It is hard to let go, and let God! But sometimes letting go and praying are the only ways you can survive. With a loving grandparent praying for them, your grandsons, have a better chance at a better life. My nephew's mother was in and out of relationships - 3 children - 3 different Dads, but through prayer, she has finally settled down and the children are doing well. It has been hard for my brother to see his son go through it all, but he (the child) has become a well adjusted teenager.

 

It might be dark at this end of the tunnel, but one day you will see the light begin to shine in their lives and know that the tunnel is finally coming to an end.

 

Just hang in there and know that there are many friends from this site, who care and are praying with you for this family

[m0naj0]

Snowmom, my prayers are with you.Your children are blessed to have you for a Mother!

[gardnmom]

for your family.

[redhenfarm]

Snowmom, There have been pretty serious issues with 'mom' so there isn't much reason to trust her motives now. You know them by their fruits so when she can consistently show "good fruit", then you'll breathe a sigh of relief.

 

It sounds good that your son's new lady friend loves him and the children and that she isn't expecting them to call her 'mom' which would just start the fireworks.

 

Really all we can do is pray for you and your situation.

 

On the one hand I feel concerned about the stress all this has caused for you and Old Pine and to be a little removed from it might improve that.

I also just wish the best for those little guys. Bad influences removed from their young lives.

 

[Homesteader]

It sounds like a mess but it is probably a better mess than it was before. It sounds like your son's new girlfriend is a decent woman. Who knows if it will last but then again what guarantee do any of us have in life.

 

This "motherhood" stuff never quits..does it? Just try to step back enough so that your health and marriage are not adversely affected.

[HapyGirl]

I think it's only natural for you to feel a bit uncertain about all the changes, and wondering if this new lady will be good for your son. It sounds like things with her are good so far

[Bamboo]

Keeping you and yours in my