Women Things

[Deb2of9]

from a guy, I don't think his elevator makes it to the top floor or he wants to make momma warm and fuzzy.

 

Eight Words with two Meanings...

 

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.

Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

 

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male.... Playing football without a cup.

 

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

 

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

 

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

 

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

 

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

 

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

 

 

 

 

AND;

 

 

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

 

 

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . . ....That's a good idea - you stand by the sink and do the dishes while I sit on the sofa and fart!

 

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

 

 

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

 

 

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?

He said . . . A widow.

 

 

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 

 

 

 

SEND THIS TO ALL THE SMART WOMEN YOU KNOW WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

 

[Screaming Eagle]

Tell the truth now and admit it. Items 2,3,4 are not exclusively the domain of men and women. I know some women who are as terrified of being vulnerable, having open communication and absolute commitment as any man I've ever met. Most of it comes down to fear which is (unfortunately) all too well drilled into us any number of ways.

 

That being said, there are some very real differences in the ways men and women think about things.

[cookiejar]

Originally Posted By: Screaming Eagle

Tell the truth now and admit it. Items 2,3,4 are not exclusively the domain of men and women. I know some women who are as terrified of being vulnerable, having open communication and absolute commitment as any man I've ever met. Most of it comes down to fear which is (unfortunately) all too well drilled into us any number of ways.

That being said, there are some very real differences in the ways men and women think about things.

Blink blink
Okay SE, it's the humor section... take everything with a grain of salt and a large dose of easy does it.

[ArmyOfFive4God]

Originally Posted By: cookiejar

Blink blink
Okay SE, it's the humor section... take everything with a grain of salt and a large dose of easy does it.

A dash of salt & a large wedge of lime!

[HSmom]

Originally Posted By: ArmyOfFive4God

Originally Posted By: cookiejar

Blink blink
Okay SE, it's the humor section... take everything with a grain of salt and a large dose of easy does it.

A dash of salt & a large wedge of lime!

I'll drink to that! :cocktail: