It is ok to celebrate

[logcabinmama]

I was doing a search and came across this web site.

http://www.todaysseniors.com/health/grief.shtml

 

"Dealing With Grief During The Holidays

By Betty Wilhelm

Baue Grief Services Coordinator

As the holidays approach, people often find themselves getting more and more stressed. If they've experienced the recent death of a loved one, the void created by that death can be greater at this time of year.

Familiar rituals may not be comfortable and they feel physically and emotionally drained. This is a time when they need help and support from family and friends.

Handling emotions may be the only thing they can manage right now. They should try not to overwhelm themselves and do only as much as they feel comfortable doing. They should let family and friends know they may need some help. Some people do not know how they feel. Asking will make life a little easier for the person grieving and it will be rewarding for the helper.

"Grievers have three choices: celebrate as usual, avoid the holidays or do something brand new," wrote Judy Tatelbaum, M.S.W.

It is difficult to choose which is best. If children and grandchildren are in the family, not celebrating would disappoint and deprive them.

Many families choose to keep their family traditions. These traditions can represent security at a time when life is out of control. Doing something new and different is fine, maybe getting away for a few days, going to a restaurant, etc. This is no guarantee it will take away the pain, but they may find it helpful.

"What about Christmas cards?" people ask.

Those who are grieving should do what works well for them. Maybe it's enough to send to out-of-town relatives and friends. Some find their energy levels too low to deal with Christmas cards at all, and sometimes it is too painful signing one less name. It's OK to choose to send no holiday greetings; family and friends will understand.

This can be a good time to gather catalogs and make a dent in the Christmas list. Shop by mail.

Health and well-being (which we never think about) are extremely important now. This is an area where a person can make some choices and assume some control in their life.

It can be helpful to focus on learning new ways to relax, maybe a big overstuffed chair, listening to a relaxation tape or CD, sounds of nature, flute or the gentle sound of waves.

It's easy during this time to forget to eat, or binge on unhealthy foods. A person who is grieving should remind himself/herself the body needs nutrients to fight off the many viruses they may come into contact with. They should make an effort to get two balanced meals a day, drink plenty of water (unless they are limited in fluid in-take) and check with their doctor about multi-vitamins.

Something important in our lives is routine. Routine can give a sense of order and control, and many times, is the only "normal" thing in life.

For many, sleep patterns may be interrupted and it is helpful to try to maintain usual waking and bedtime routines. If they are on an exercise program - great! They should try to stick with it. Researchers have found a brisk walk once or twice a day helps mentally and physically. They should check with their doctor before starting any exercise program.

Talking with people they plan to spend the holidays with can be most helpful in preparing for those days. Some questions they may want to ask:

What will be the most difficult (other than the whole season!)?

Who will carve the turkey? Dad always carved the turkey at the table for one family and they decided to carve before being seated.

Who sits in their loved one's place? Another family decided to take turns.

Writing a list of what needs to be done allows a grieving person to look at ways to make things more manageable. If they feel everything is so over-whelming, try something different. They should leave themselves open for changes and have other tentative plans made. They should do what works well for them.

These are just suggestions for this year. Try to focus on this day only. It does not mean they will want the same for next year. They should enjoy some moments. It's OK not to be sad all the time. While these days may be difficult, it can still be meaningful.

Grieving people do hurt. They just need to allow themselves to express their feelings."

***

You see, not only did we lose Ed here at the site, but just a couple weeks ago we got word that an ex-bil of Old Pine's had passed away. Even though we have not seen him in years, we have exchanged Christmas Cards with him.

We will have Christmas at our house and we will enjoy the family being here. That is the way they would have wanted it. Yes, it is ok to smile again. Feels good to be able to do that.

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

Love ya all,

 

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[Goose Liver]

Thanks Smommy your the best..

Have a great Christmas...

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[theyd]

Very helpful words there.

Thanks SnowMom.

[Snowmom]

Thanks Snow.

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[Guest Guest]

Thanks, SnowMom! Merry Christmas!

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Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, and His love endures forever!

[mrszouave]

Thankyou Snowmommie!

Merry CHristmas to you and yours!

love ya,

deb

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[lowlander]

Thanks Snow..

And Merry Christmas to everyone here!!!

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