out of the mouth of babes

[gofish]

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing

how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a

pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,

'My Mommy looked back once while she was

driving,' he announced triumphantly,

'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

________________________________

 

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class

the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked

The class, 'If you saw a person lying on

the roadside, all wounded and bleeding,

what would you do?'

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed

Silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'

________________________________

 

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you

think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on

the Ark ?'

'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he,

with just two worms.'

________________________________

 

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children,

'We have been learning how powerful kings

and queens were in Bible times. But, there

is a Higher Power.

Can anybody tell me what it is?'

One child blurted out, 'Aces!'

________________________________

 

MOSES AND THE RED SEA

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother

what he had learned in Sunday School.

'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God

sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue

mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army

build a pontoon bridge and all the people

walked across safely. Then he radioed

headquarters for reinforcements.

They sent bombers to blow up the bridge

and all the Israelites were saved.'

'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher

taught you?' his Mother asked.

'Well, no, Mom.. But, if I told it the way

the teacher did, you'd never believe it!'

________________________________

 

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have

her young class memorize one of the most

quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23.

She gave the youngsters a month to learn

the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task -

but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.

After much practice, he could barely get

past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled

to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,

Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn,

he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,

'The Lord is my Shepherd,

and that's all I need to know.'

________________________________

 

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed

that her father always paused and bowed his

head for a moment before starting his sermon.

One day, she asked him why.

'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his

daughter was so observant of his messages.

'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach

a good sermon.'

'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

________________________________

 

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old

boy, 'So your mother says your prayers for

you each night? That's very commendable.

What does she say?'

The little boy replied:

'Thank God he's in bed!'

________________________________

 

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's prayer one Sunday,

there was a loud whistle from one of the

back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified.

She pinched him into silence and, after

church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you

do such a thing?'

Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to

teach me to whistle, and He did!'

________________________________

 

TIME TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said

his prayers every night. 'Yes, sir.' the

boy replied.

'And, do you always say them in the morning,

too?' the pastor asked..'No sir,' the boy

replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'

________________________________

 

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime

prayers, she would bless every family member,

every friend, and every animal (current and

past). For several weeks, after we had

finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,

'And all girls.'

This soon became part of her nightly routine,

to include this closing. My curiosity got the

best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you

always add the part about all girls?'

Her response, 'Because everybody always

finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

________________________________

 

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having

Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.

Everyone was seated around the table as the

food was being served.

When Little Johnny received his plate,

he started eating right away.

'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.'

said his mother.

'I don't need to,' the boy replied.

'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted.

'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'

'That's at our house.' Johnny explained.

'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'

[snapshotmiki]

Thanks Gofish! Those are too good!!

[Virginia]

Those are fun!