Ick.

[Guest Guest]

Couldn't sleep, so I thought I would ramble around in here for a bit and see how everyone is doing. After about an hour or so of that (seems like you all are doing fine... some great, some so-so, so hopefully it is balancing out

[ozzzyyy]

(((((((Jenna)))))))))

 

I sure hope and pray that you find a compassionate doctor today! There are a few out there you know! Some who feel that what you did 17 months ago was the largest display of unconditional love they will ever see a woman do. Yes, dear Jenna....no one needs to judge you. In fact, we need to applaud you for loving your baby girl so much that you would not want to selfishly hold her back from a life with a family who was ready. You hold your head up high. You gave life and then some! I have many friends who became parents when they adopted children. We thank God for women like you. You are a rare gem upon this earth! Bless you!

[logcabinmama]

Good morning Jenna, I so agree with what Ginger said.

 

So many moms keep their babies and then have no way to take care of them. You are really very brave and loving.

 

 

[gardnmom]

Jenna, if you don't want to discuss it, don't.

If he needs medical info give it to him and simply don't discuss anything more. Blessings

[Guest Guest]

It's

[Guest Guest]

You're right... *ICK*.

 

But necessary.

[Guest Guest]

Jenna

 

Wow, I am so glad you posted. You are still healing and growing from giving birth to your daughter and then giving her up. As you walk through this growing process you will become stronger and all of this will be easier for you. I am impressed with the fact that you are going into the Dr. That really shows that you are a strong person.

 

I have found that the trials in my life create dimentions in me that I would not have any other way. I have often used my experiences to help someone else. None of this is easy but you are walking strong. I do hope that things go well.

[Guest Guest]

(((((Jenna)))))

[HapyGirl]

Jenna

[Guest Guest]

I'm a bit miffed... I replied to this post, my phone rang, the computer froze, I tried to un-freeze it and I lost my post!

 

Jenna, I've always felt you were someone special, but now I've decided you are a Phenomenal Woman!

 

I can't imagine the emotional turmoil you experienced, and probably still are experiencing, after making the decision to give your baby up for adoption. It must be heartbreaking for you, and I'm sorry for your pain.

 

I can tell you this; I think your decision to honor a childless mother with such a precious gift, is the most loving, unselfish, wonderful thing you will ever do!

 

Now about that doctor... Never let a doctor speak to you in that manner again! He may have gone to medical school, but that doesn't make him God; that makes him your employee!

 

I would have *itch slapped him for speaking to me that way! It really ticks me off when a pompous, sanctimonious, rude, ill-mannered, self-righteous, knuckle dragging, inbred, megalomaniacal, emotionally bankrupt, bag of $&!#, thinks he has the right to spew unwarranted, unsolicited venom at frightened or intimidated patients!

 

It's too bad you didn't file a complaint with the medical review board. He should have his license revoked for that type of behavior.

 

When you go in for an exam, you are not required to discuss your feelings or your personal life. There are certain questions that need to be asked, but when they cross the line and you begin to feel uncomfortable, you need to tell them to stop. You have got to remember that you are paying him to manage your health care, not your personal life or decisions.

 

TO ALL THE WOMEN ON THIS BOARD;

 

Your health care provider is only your employee. Nothing more. Do not let them intimidate or bully you. Don't be frightened by the title preceeding their names!

 

As you have probably guessed, I am not easily intimidated. As a matter of fact, it takes little effort on my part to make someone back down. It's not something I do all the time, but in this world, it has it's purposes. I want to tell you about an experience I had, a few years ago.

 

I am a Disabled Veteran. My health care is provided by my local VA Hospital. About 4 years ago, I went in for my twice annual checkup. I had received a letter stating that my primary care provider was no longer available, and that I had been transferred to the Women's Clinic. I would be under the care of a female gynecologist I had never met. I was more than a little angry. I had a comfortable relationship with my previous provider, who happened to be a Physician's Assistant. I trusted him, and he listened well.

 

So, I go in for this appt., the nurse checks my BP, weight, temp and pulse, then tells me to get undressed, the doctor will be in shortly.

 

I said no. The nurse was on her way out the door, and stopped dead still.

 

"What?" she says.

 

I answered, "No!"

 

She turned and looked at me, probably for the first time. Then she tried to quickly convince me to do as she instructed. She almost fainted when I responded.

 

"Look," I said. "I don't know you, and I don't know this doctor. I didn't come here to be 'examined'. I'm here to have my blood checked, my meds adjusted and my blood pressure monitored. I don't take my clothes off for strangers on the street, and I'm not taking them off for you or this doctor! You are nothing more than strangers in a building, who happen to have degrees. After I get to know this doctor, if I decide I can trust her, then we can talk about it. Is that clear?"

 

She turned beet red, sputtered for a second, turned on her heel and left.

 

When the doctor came in, we had a long talk. Over the years, I've gotten to know her and trust her. I follow her direction if I feel comfortable, and I debate certain things with her if I disagree. She respects me and I respect her, as a person, as well as my health care provider.

 

That is how a doctor/patient relationship is supposed to work! If yours doesn't work that way, fire them and find another! They are just your employee, after all, and you wouldn't continue to pay an employee that didn't work well for you, would you?

 

Jenna, you come here anytime, and say what's in your heart and on your mind. We will be here waiting, with open arms.

 

Remember, you are loved...

[Guest Guest]

 

 

Thanks, Friend!!!

[Homesteader]

I hate to say it but it is difficult these days to find a good doctor let alone a compassionate one. Don't let one (or even several) ignoramuses affect you. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. You made a mistake but you did a great job dealing with it. All of us have made mistakes. I am sure that your decision was the best possible one for everyone involved. So..don't be so hard on yourself. If this Doctor does not treat you the way you should be treated get a different one the next time. It took me many years to find a Dr. I like and respect.

[Linda]

Jeanna I agree with what the rest has said. You did a good thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Any time you want to talk you are more then welcome to do so.

And for thoses that are against what you did such as that DR. well .. they are going to think what they want to anyways so just forget them. I wish you many blessings and love

 

And you are so right about the doctors ...

[Guest Guest]

Theyd,

[redhenfarm]

Jenna, I hope all went well for you today and you were able to read the supportive messages here before you went.

I also am very thankful to a woman who was unable to take care of me and gave me to my Mom and Dad. Even all those many years ago there were other options and I'm glad she chose to give me life.

[logcabinmama]

I want Nana on my side too.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Snow, I can copy and paste my post, but I can't do the whole thread. With Jenna's permission, I'm sure Caveman would move the entire thread for us.

 

I was thinking the same thing. There are probably more women who would speak up on the subject, if it was in a more private arena.

 

Now, before anyone gets their panties in a knot over this, we are not saying this is posted in the wrong place!

 

What we are saying is that Jenna's bravery in creating this post may help someone else immensely, but those people may be too shy to respond in an open forum.

 

What is here can be left here, and also re-created in the women's forum, for a more in-depth discussion for those who might not be quite so brave as our beautiful Jenna.

 

But of course, we won't do anything without Jenna's expressed permission.

[Guest Guest]

*Psst!* Nana! I wondered if you could clarify for us what you really thought!

[jillg]

Ick is right! I found out a couple months ago that if you've never had an abnormal pap, some doctors (or nurses) will let you have that done every two years instead of every year.

I don't have a regular doctor to go to, I see a nurse at Planned Parenthood, but I really like her because she is willing to talk to me about other things than just birth control.

Jenna, I think you are so brave and love that child more than anyone could know. It's so easy to keep a child (just to keep it, not take care of it!), I can only imagine how hard to was to bless someone else with one of the most precious gifts ever.

[Guest Guest]

I can move the thread with Darlene's and Jenna's permission! Your wish is my command!

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

I want to thank you all for all the amazing posts you have made for me over the last few days. Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Before I say what happened I just want to repeat my thanks. You are all wonderful and kind people who I am honored to be friends with.

 

What happened.

 

Well.

 

After waiting in the room (naked, of course) the doctor came in and proceeded to do the following. Yell. Call me a lier. When I answered the questions why I had come 40 minutes away from my home town - the doctors here are not accepting new patients right now - he said I was lying. That he knew the doctors, that they never were busy. He knew several personally and so why was I lying. He repeated this over and over, and after reducing me to tears (I don't often cry, but I was scared anyway. Childish, but what can I say. I don't like being alone in a room with a man I don't know WITH my clothes on. Naked - barring a paper towel - is not easier, ya know?) he shook his head and said if I wanted to be a lier he couldn't help it and then commanded me to the chair. At that point I was done. I wanted to go. I wanted to be home. Crud. I wanted my mommy! But he wouldn't leave so I could get dressed. He got angry and started yelling that he wasn't touching me and I had better not say he had. He wouldn't leave. Only after I BEGGED him to leave the room did he go. Laughing.

 

You know. I do know there are good and wonderful docs out there, but this is the THIRD doctor who has acted in a manner like this. I know the medical field is under constant fire, but there has to be a better way. Shouldn't a good bedside manner be one of the necessary skills? Next time, can I just have YOU go nanapop? I think you would do better.

 

I finally got home. Cried. Then convinced my father that NO he didn't need to go "teach that quack a few new things he can do with a speculum" (gotta love my dad). My friends came and got me the next day so I could get some space.

 

Thank you all for your support. It helps more than you can know. I'm just in a rougher spot then I would want, but I'll get through it. I guess I'm just really angry that after months and months of trying to get over various nightmares, this.... this.... odious little toad of a man brings it all screaming back.

 

 

[gardnmom]

Jenna, I'm so sorry you had to go through this... I hope you fired him. Send him a bill for pain and suffering....caused by his odious attitude.

[Guest Guest]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jenna}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

What a CREEP that guy is!!!

[Linda]

Jenna ... Let your Dad go... come aon let him go, please...

what's his address ... I will go... NO ONE!!!! NO ONE has that right!! no one!!! boy of boy do I want to swear!!!!!

I hope you didn't pay the bill; if you hadn't tell him to take you to court, that you wanted your day in court. I did that once to a doc. and when they started calling me about the bill and said they where going to take me to court i said go for it. I want my day in court but did have the money to take him so yea lets go. never heared frm them again and there is no outstanding bill there.

Darn I am mad. Jeanna don't let that slime bucket get to you he is nothing but a jerk, no respect for women, and by the way he treated you .......... he is lower then a snake's belly. Nana has better wording then i do but for now i am going to go look up that word Lois used.

Jenna this is for you hon

[gardnmom]

Theyd, it's just a nice word for stinkin' so and so... .